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those posting here who probably felt a strong tug ... but chose not to ... to "come-back" or continue the verbal jousting. I imagine that was hard to do, but that continuing (probably) doesn't *really* feel good to any involved ... other than the “fun” of scratching a rash harder and harder. I write this also to invite salon authors to be mindful of the energy they *may* be putting forth in their articles. Yes, salon writers are thoughtful. Yes, they can be provocative. Yes, these things are helpful to spur debate. I appreciate all these things. I don't, however, prefer to trudge around in places that feel polarized, reactive ... and ultimately unhealthy. I believe that one reaps what one sows. So, on that ... I request that as salon management … or whomever … decide how to approach caustic posting, anonymous or otherwise, that they also examine the writings that *may* prompt such reactions.
My point is Ms. Price, whom I have no other context that my first reading of her uses these words, quoted out of context:
"manipulative" "sleaze" "tools of psychological manipulation" "teach guys how to manipulate people into hooking up with them seems less empowering than it does sleazy" "all the more pathetic" "those jerks". I am a man, a psychotherapist by training (where one uses "manipulative techniques, hopefully, to help others) ... I probably an unenlightened one in many ways ... but I found myself irritated and mildly angry as I read this post. There is just something about the writing I found unsettling. It might be about a particular sense of one-sidedness that some of these posters seemed to respond to with more one-sidedness. Maybe this was just 1% of the energy of an otherwise well-written and otherwise interesting blog. I’ll leave that to Ms. Price and her editors to decide.
As I reflect on this, I decided to write what I have written now. But, I also want to add this: I have another opinion about "how things work" which is that sometimes when humans (like me) are presented with situations that are difficult to emotionally "digest" something happens. Sometimes that person finds a way to discharge what is undigested by creating situations for those around them that is similarly unsettling. They can prompt others to "feel their pain" in a totally unconscious way. I do certainly not desire to analyze Ms. Price or her motives ... she is the other one who can do that ... but I do want to write this to invite all to reflect more deeply.
What does seem relative clear (in this murky space) is that I did notice words written that could be construed as inflaming, in a sense. Then posters responded with heightened inflammation. I’m most definitely one for a free press … and not one for censoring or anything that even resembles political correctness. I am, on the other hand, suggesting that what we put out in the world… and more importantly what we see in the world … may have more to do with us and the things that are “unfinished” for us … that those objects themselves.
A deep bow to those who are reflecting and not scratching the seductive itches ... you are changing the world
