Letters to the Editor
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I agree
If you think raising children sucks, then absolutely you shouldn't have them.
I only hope many people who are of the same temperament as the author read this book and spare themselves future bitter regret.
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ok, but isn't it a problem
if nobody does it? Assuming it might be are the childless willing to kick in enough taxes to "incentivize" a level of reproduction sufficient to maintain (at least some)population
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Madyson, use your words!
I am not a fan of children and do not plan on having any. I am an American, and the behavior I see in public is appalling.
Yesterday, I had to wait twenty minutes before seeing the new Harry Potter movie because, to quote the usher, the children in the audience had "trashed the place." Once in, two little kids amused themselves by running around and screaming, though they did quiet down a bit when the film actually began.
I don't blame the kids. I would probably have behaved like a popcorn throwing maniac at their age if my parents had let me. But those days are gone.
I fear that if I did have a child, my atempts to get it to behave would be seen as downright abusive. I would want to do all those old-fashioned things like set limits and administer punishments, none of which seem to be permitted these days.
Oh well.
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I feel sorry for her children
What's worse than than having children which you bitterly regret having. Telling the whole world about it.
Just think how her children must feel. They might have thought their mother was unhappy, but now they know they are a primary source of her unhappiness.
SJ
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No, Anonymous, it is not a problem,
not a problem at all. The rate of world population growth may be slowing down, but with 6.6 billion people on earth and the population still ballooning at an inconceivable rate, the problem is too many people having too many babies that they (and the earth) cannot sustain. I'm all for providing families with the resources they need to care for their children, but the last thing we need is to provide incentives to breed, especially not in developed countries where per capita consumption is vastly out of proportion.
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family friendly is also independance friendly
In countries such as France which have some of the most family friendly policies, the high quality of life also encourages people to enjoy their own lives, and some naturally choose not to commit to raising children. Those who choose to raise children do so entirely of their own volition, without any economic of other coercive reason to do so. As such, they tend to be the most dedicated parents. Those who choose not to, are also choosing the best lifestyle for them, and have social infrastructure to help them age with dignity. And during their productive years they pay more into the system which makes all this choice and freedom possible.
That is perfectly healthy and as it should be.
Those who will be the best and most dedicated parents are free to be that. Those who would not choose to be parents are not coerced into doing so. Everyone contributes to the continuation of the species, the care of the young as well as the old.
Also, France, Europe, Japan and such are highly populated countries emphasizing education, technological growth, and efficiency; over population growth. For example Japan is creating robotic assisted bathing for the infirmed for example, to help care for the elderly, which they love. That requires a highly educated work force of computer programmers, engineers and skilled labor to create. And their children are highly educated to create such industries, as well as the cars, electronics, and many high end goods the world consumes.
By comparison, America is hoping to create more low skilled and low pay jobs in nursing for the elderly, because our work force is much less educated and so much of our capitalization of innovative technology is now occurring overseas.
If they choose to let population drop a bit, while better educating and caring fort their children, good for them. They'll have more physical space and more skills per capita, which is the direction post-industrial economies should be moving. Eventually towards a post-scarcity (or less-scarcity) economy.
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I wish the debate wasn't so vitriolic
As a childless woman by choice, I've been on the receiving end of everything from friendly pressure to "you'll regret it" pressure to absolute vitriol over my lack of desire to have kids. The latter most often coming from women who clearly have regretting having children in a society that will not tolerate any mother admitting she is less than happy with her kids or her choice to have kids. It's one of the last great taboos, isn't it?
I haven't all the answers, and I don't worry about what other people think of my choice. Whatever kind of social pressure I'm given, I take it in stride. But women with kids who are not happy with the choice? What can they do except go with the flow or be decried as a monster?
Perhaps the first step is just to let women, especially mothers, own the spectrum of their own feelings. I'm not saying you should tell your ten year old that you "bitterly regret" their existence, but perhaps everyone should relax on the whole "parenthood is the greatest thing in life" pressure that society puts on both men and women. Because frankly, those friends who give me that speech, always strike me as trying to convince themselves. Meanwhile, the best mother I know always says something to the effect of "Kids are wonderful, but by all means don't have them unless you really, really want them."
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StJoe is right
How sad and embarrassing for her children!
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totally
No woman should have children. Ever. That'll teach those little brats.
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btw, on population stability
Eventually the population levels of Europe (and all developed countries) should self-stabilize at an optimal level.
The main reason is that factors such as economics and land scarcity drives the cultural norms for population growth, which are highly plastic. They tend to automatically find equilibrium.
Currently some European countries have slightly negative population growth, which may be supplemented with immigration. That scares some people into thinking Europeans are becoming weaker, less virile, or such. In fact, their society is becoming more efficient, so they have a higher quality of life with shrinking population. At some point if population shrinks, there will be surpluses of resources, which encourages growth.
Also, those who have children are slightly divergent culturally towards having children, as opposed to those who do not. So, while the overall culture is presently slightly less than at replacement levels for various reasons mostly having to do with over population and scarcity of resources, there is always a tendency for population to rebound to optimal levels.