Letters to the Editor
-
men have a bad attitude which may seem "meaner" than women becasue they spend their formative years having sex "maliciously" withheld by EVERYONE
women may be frustrated too but most of them have some negotiating capacity in this area and most males have to work at least from the age of 12 or 13 to 17 or 18 (and sometimes MUCH longer to acquire ANY). I think Men and Women can get along, provided there is genuine mutual attraction, but a denial of, and therefore an inability to deal with reality, such as the example I just gave, makes it harder than it has to be. Blaming the attitude I just referred to on patriarchal entitlement, or something, rather than acknowledging biology is a good example of the problem.
-
"If you can increase the husband's priority of the task by throwing in some playful sex, why not"
I don't trade sex for anything. You have never heard the joke of "We have established what you are. Now we are just trying to determine the price?"
What you are prescribing in your latest post is bribery and wheedling, and maybe even whoring. Why is bribery and wheedling okay as a feminine trait, but nagging so awful? May I suggest you that it is because the former reinforces the power of the person being bribed or wheedled. Nagging still gives power to the person being nagged, but that person has to endure something unpleasant. However unilateral decision-making, which is what you are so worried about, implies the power resides in the decision-maker. It certainly does in the first example I gave. However, that does not have to mean that because one person makes a decision on her/his own that the other partner cannot do also make decision. Not doing something (plumbing) is a decision.
To be frank, the plumbing example is similar to conversations that my mother and father had many times. Then those conversations would escalate into arguments or even fights. My father fancied himself a handyman. He was the one who volunteered to do the things in the first place and then would put them off. Perhaps it is human to procrastinate, but it is inarguable that it is good to keep one's promises.
In the underwear example, the husband has total power for his own decision. He can decide whether to was his underwear or not.
By the way, I have noticed that you don't really answer my posts. Instead, you read things into my posts that are not there and construct yet another argument. In other words, you are scoring points and not engaging in a discussion.
About money: My ex and I had an agreement that neither of us would spend more that $50 dollars on any nonnecessity when he bought that expensive car. Most couples would do well to establish such an amount beforehand.
I consider plumbing that works an absolute necessity. Mold can be dangerous to one's health. If I had a significant medical problem, I would get it treated, whether or not I had "permission."
-
re: AKA Smith
Hoo boy. I used to date a bull rider. I'm not sure they're representative. And I'm not sure that they're speaking freely to each other, either - they're putting on a bullshit act for each other when you're asleep just as much as they are putting on one for you when you're awake.
The guys on Broadsheet are not a representative selection of "men." I think you're absolutely right that some of them hate women - heck, some of them will come right out and say so. These are the men who find it worth their time to post on a women's issues forum. Yes, I find that sad. Douglas Adams once said that it's possible to sit on a horse all day without ever wondering what the horse thinks, but it's not possible to be sat on all day without wondering what the rider thinks. That's true of all oppressed people.
By the way, you may be interested to know that I recently wrote to the author of "The Dangerous Book for Boys" asking if he thought it was okay for me to buy it for my niece. I wanted to hear what he had to say for himself, as opposed to what other people said about him. He wrote back today with a big "fuck you", stating that the book was for boys only and he didn't care what girls thought about that. That's off-topic but I had to share it with someone.
I'm pretty sure my husband hates Ben with a passion. He has his boy-like moments (like right now he's trying to convince me that I'll enjoy the Transformers movie) and he does have some base assumptions about women that can shock me. However, we get along amazingly well, which includes learning from each other. I wouldn't want to replace him with a woman.
About fighting online - I'm a Christian, and one of the things I do when I get frustrated online is read the Bible. The last time I did that, I randomly opened to a page in Proverbs, which said, Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest thou also be like unto him. There you have it. You just can't argue with some people. I love a good argument - heck, I love a good fight - but constantly being heckled, I don't love. The stuff that goes on here is ugly, you won't hear any argument from me about that. Take a deep breath and remember there are many people like you who love the sound of cicadas. In fact, I'll tell you flat out that I'm digging the thought of you listening to cicadas while walking your dog. I wish you happiness, and I'll gladly join hands with you to hold back the night.
If you don't want to date anymore, I don't see a thing wrong with that. But giving up on wanting a man in your life in a romantic sense is different from giving up on all men, everywhere. That would be sad. It would be giving up on one half of the people in the entire world and everything they have to offer.
-
possible to sit on a horse all day without ever wondering what the horse thinks, but it's not possible to be sat on all day without wondering what the rider thinks
if women really are irrevocably attached to the belief that in modern america they are the horse and men are the rider it does make it hard to see how there can be much real communication about a lot of things. The real reason men are so much "meaner" and "less sensitive" is that the biological problem that men have a lot of instinctive programming to deal with is how to PRODUCE a kid and the big problem women face is how to RAISE one.