Letters to the Editor
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No Shit. Since I am a feminist and AKA Smith and you are apparently not, I know that women can do this
I know women can fix the plumbing, that's why I asked AKA Smith if she hadn't left out an alternative.
The alternative being: pick up a book and a wrench and do it yourself and stop nagging your husband to pick up a book and a wrench and do it for you.
But here is what wanna be feminist AKA Smith says:
Example #1
"Dear, you said you were going to fix the sink this weekend."
"Dear, you said you were going to fix the sink last weekend."
"Dear, you said you were going to fix the sink last month."
Solution to nagging: "Dear, since you didn't get around to the sink, I called the plumber. The bill is $330."
As you see, nagging can be unnecessary. I tell all my women friends who complain about the things their husband's don't do to just hire it done if they are not able to do it themselves.
Why is the women nagging the husband if she could do it herself? What is the husband who is no expert going to do that the woman can't do on her own?
If your sense of priority differs from that of your husbands, why nag about it? DO IT YOURSELF. If you don't want to do it yourself, why do you think your husband wants to do it? If your sense of your abilities at doing this leads you to nagging someone else to do it for you, why are you blaming your husband for procrastinating?
If you have the money to hire someone, hire someone.
But if you don't have the money and you do have the time and your husband doesn't want to do it, then as a couple, come to a decision and a timeline and get it done.
But stop the nagging.
And stop blaming the husband for your reluctance to pick up a wrench. And stop blaming the husband for his not having the same sense of priorities that you do. And stop blaming the husband for his having some anxiety that keeps him from doing this work when you have a very similar anxiety.
Stop your abuse. And stop blaming the victim for somehow causing your abuse.
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Dude, your reading comprehension is seriously subpar.
AKA Smith's point is EXACTLY that -- she's saying that INSTEAD of nagging, a person should just hire someone to fix the sink IF they cannot do it themselves (the natural corollary being, of course, that one shoudl fix it if they can do it themselves). Jeez, it seems like you just barely skimmed the posts, then jumped to write your response based on a misreading wherein you completely missed the point.
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Anonymous, you seem to have missed the point. The conversations are "created."
They are not ones I have actually had. I don't bother to nag men. That was whole point of my post. I am opposed to nagging. As to affording to pay a plumber, I have no trouble affording one all on my own. After all plumbers have to make a living. I hire great many things done. Often, I even have maid service.
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I will take the credit
This can be none other than Brightstar.
I will gladly take the credit for helping to wake men up on these boards and in society in general, but no, I did not write that.
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Let me help you out here
Okay, check this out: the key sentence that you apparently in AKA Smith's post is the first sentence of the last paragraph of "Example #1." It reads: "As you see, nagging can be unnecessary." In the very next sentence, she drives her point home with the phrase: "just hire it done IF they are not able to do it themselves (emphasis mine)."
Really, it's not that hard. Reading Is Fundamental, as they say -- try doing a little more of it, and a little less ranting against those all-powerful, nefarious feminists.
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It is quite puzzling to me that the latest Anonymous seems to equate plumbing with feminism.
Anonymous seems not to understand that feminism is about choices for both men and women. A "feminist" would know that.
Let me hasten to say that if my daughter had to choose between being an administrative assistant or a welder I would definitely encourage her to be a welder. If she inherited my spatial ability (99 percentile on the aptitude test I took in college) she would be good at it. Especially since she has great math skills. I would discourage a clerical job both because of poor pay and because I definitely know the poor child has inherited my clerical skills (36 percentile on the aptitude test I took in college). Nothing about being female qualifies one to file. Considering the way my own house looks most of the time, nothing about being female qualifies one to clean.
Aptitudes are individual. As for plumbing, I much prefer to paint instead.
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Brightstar, I know you would not actually write anything that stupid so why are you taking credit for it?
I think you have a few problems, but not being able to read is not one I have noticed that you have.
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AKA Smith, you are being disingenuous and you are telling women they do not have to communicate
Here is what you said:
I agree. Nagging can sometimes be abusive. Moreover, it is a waste of time and energy for the nagger. That is why I never nag. I like my solutions much better, don't you?
You created some conversations that showed that since the male didn't do what was needed, the female was forced to punish the male, either by calling a plumber and not doing the work herself and taking a joint decision to spend money and turning it into a punitive action on the woman's part.
Example #1
"Dear, you said you were going to fix the sink this weekend."
"Dear, you said you were going to fix the sink last weekend."
"Dear, you said you were going to fix the sink last month."
Solution to nagging: "Dear, since you didn't get around to the sink, I called the plumber. The bill is $330."
Both of these conversations stink.
How about discussing the actual issue with your husband and coming to an actual joint decision.
What nagging did was impose your superiority and your lack of willingness to negotiate priorities of tasks. When spending the money did was to impose your superiority and your lack of responsibility for how the money is spent.
How about this as a conversation:
Honey, the sink is backed up. The easiest thing to do would be to call a plumber but maybe one of us can fix it. If we can't fix it, then let's discuss the impact on our budget and decide how we'll pay for this, or decide which of us goes to Borders and picks up the Dummy's guide. Better yet, I'll flip you for it. You do it and you get a blow job anywhere you want. I do it, and you eat me out at the drive in tonight. Or we call the plumber and let her pick who she wants to have sex with instead of our paying the bill.
But all you did was change from nagging the poor sob to punishing him. Terrific.