Letters to the Editor
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Here's the thing
If this: all I hear from reading and listening to so many men is that they want someone to walk down a beach with into the sunset, someone to LOVE, someone to trust and believe in.
comes packaged with contempt, condescension and even flat-out disgust, then I'll pass. I can do all of this lovely sunset and beach stuff by myself, knowing that there's no one by my side who secretly hates me but is willing to lie to me about this so he can screw me anyway.
Whenever a man insults me prior to asking me out, he gets nothing. Whenever he waves pretty trinkets or fancy cars in front of my nose, he gets nothing. Whenever he uses the "illogical" argument, he gets nothing, especially given that I've also had formal instruction in philosophy and logic, and know actual logic when I hear it. Whenever he makes a promise, breaks it, and then accuses me of being passive-aggressive or emasculating when I take care of business myself, he gets nothing. It's not even a question of sex. He gets nothing at all because he has nothing to offer that could possibly convince me to tolerate this behavior in any kind of relationship whatsoever.
This policy has resulted in remarkably few relationships over the course of the last decade, but considerable tranquility. The dishes get done and so do the household repairs, without any fuss whatsoever. I also have one of those mutually supportive social networks, so I'm not hurting for love, trust and encouragement.
I have peace, quiet and room to grow. Is there anything else I really need so badly that I have to trade them for it?
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could we please stop pretending that how people talk on here is how they act in real life
the issues may be real but they are not handled in the same way. It is almost certainly true that people who have less social success due to shyness, "social phobia" or whatever have a worse attitude (although the connection may not be as strong as you might assume), but people on all sides of the "debate" say online what they can't afford to say in person.
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They Are Liars!
Brightfart and the Anonymuck, who is his running buddy if not himself, have not only twisted the posts of the women here, they have outright lied. They have lied about what Allie has said and Deering has said and AKA has said. Go back though this thread and read the words in the posts and then compare to how they are characterized. There is one lie after another on the part of Brightfart and Anonymuck.
Get a clue women. They are mindfucking you. Why waste your time responding to them to defend women and feminism when all it does it let them screw you over in public? I wouldn't be surprised if they were jacking off while they were reading your posts. They are making you their victims and they can get away with it because you have ethics and they don't.
This is what sociopaths do. Remember it and learn from it. Never play their games.
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What the heck?
If you have promised to achieve something by a deadline at work, how do you feel when your BOSS, your boss, not your partner, assigns it to someone else, and when you ask why, your boss says, "well you had promised but I knew you weren't going to get it done on time so I assigned it to someone else."
If I made a promise to my boss and failed to deliver without appropriate notice, I would expect some kind of negative consequences. My boss isn't paying me to watch TV or otherwise goof off. I am being paid to produce a specific result, and failure to do so is going to end badly in some way.
Is this really how you behave at work, making empty promises to your boss and then complaining when your job is reassigned?
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Whenever he waves pretty trinkets or fancy cars in front of my nose, he gets nothing. Whenever he uses the "illogical" argument, he gets nothing, ..........this behavior in any kind of relationship whatsoever.
Heres the thing: women do all those things or their equivalents too, but men still consider them worth dealing with. Why is that? the real source of the venom is the simple fact that men know that if they applied to women the same standards that women are applying to them no man would ever have anything to do with women, but they can't help themselves wanting to anyway. This does not mean that men do not GENUINELY LIKE women. It really doesn't.
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The boss analogy was a real hoot.
LMAO! Where can I find a boss like that?
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re: several
I have peace, quiet and room to grow. Is there anything else I really need so badly that I have to trade them for it?
Beautifully said.
I'm a firm believer in Plato's view of love (which was not 'Platonic' in the modern sense) - that the purpose of love is to inspire each of us to be a better person in hopes of being worthy of the beloved. Therefore, love should always start with awe - mutual awe. And this awe should grow with time, because both of you should improve over time. If he's not awestruck by you, and you aren't by him, stop there.
Plato lived in a world where he could only envision this kind of love as happening between two men. That's tragic.
Re: anonymous about mindfucking. Also beautifully said. The problem with trolls is that there's always SOMEONE who will bite. There's essentially no moderation here, Ben and Brightstar haven't been banned despite months of contributing nothing other than personal attacks, and there will always be someone on any given day who responds to them. Therefore, there can be no meaningful communication on any subject on these forums. That's why most forums have moderators.
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I mean most men actually do really like women
in spite of everything.
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So it IS the woman's sole responsibility to initiate communication.
I don't even know how to respond. Stop putting up strawmen.
It's not the women's responsibility to initiate all conversations. But when an issue comes up that concerns you, who do you think is going to bring the issue up?
We ain't mind readers. If you have something to say, say it.
If you are fulfilling something you have committed to, are you going to bring it up? Or do you expect your partner to?
So if you have a need to have the sink fixed, and he has a need to clean the fishtank first, bring it up.
Or you can take your dysfunctional approach and just call a plumber.