Letters to the Editor
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How to get to genuine agreement
do you think there is any way possible for there ever to be genuine agreement(not capitualtion to pressure)
between men and women on where the line is between legitimate self expression/self determination and abused/manipulation.etc, given that men and women really are different and people can't help how they feel.
If both sides stick to science, data, to human rights issues and to gender free language, then it should be quite easy to get reach agreements.
I don't think that's the issue anymore. I think the issue is that some people truly are not interested in agreements and coming together, but in accumulating more power, entrenching bureaucracy, and projecting their own values and judgments and reshaping culture in a non-democratic manner.
Read the Broadsheet Blogroll. Lots of bloggers on that blogroll asking when the revolution begins and in fact, advocating violence towards that revolution. Their advocating violence is sometimes meant as a joke, but often times not.
But there are often times not too parties trying to reach agreement here.
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The logic card means that, in the future, everytime I disagree with a guy he is going to dismiss my POV with "NOT LOGICAL."
How is this fundamentally any different from they way many women use the word "sexist" or "misogynist", the difference obviously is that in a far higher percentage of cases that man wants to maintain contact with the women anyway.
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Allie only has to look at Broadsheet to see the point that Brightstar is making
How many magazines/newspapers/tv shows have a corner for women's issues? And how many have a corner for men's issues?
And how many organizations (companies, professional societies, legal societies, ...) have a vp or someone in HR or some committee looking advocating for women? And how many have the same for men's issues?
Also to Brightstar's point, another frequent response is for the man to "stop whining." This is actually a homophobic attack. Women are told they are not whining when they complain of sexism. They are encouraged to mention their experiences of sexism. Men are told to stop whining, but that of course means, start acting like a man. It's basically a homophobic attack.
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Here's the thing...
>The alternative being: pick up a book and a wrench and do it yourself and stop nagging your husband to pick up a book and a wrench and do it for you.<
Look, there are men who regard house repair as "their" domain, much as there are women who regard cleaning as "their" exclusive thing. Said men want to do all the repairing themselves--or they think doing it themselves is cheaper. Result--you wind up with a batch of things breaking down; guy only doing one or two repairs--or none. That's not so bad if it's a light in a seldom-used room or something minor. But it's bad news when guy takes that attitude towards every repair. You wind up with chores grinding to a halt because the drain is plugged up or the washing machine won't work. And it's insult to injury when the guy doesn't want you to call in a repairperson. He'll swear up and down he'll get it fixed "next week;" he'll "forget" to call the repairperson; he'll find a thousand reasons to not get the repair done instead of just fixing the damm thing. And if you go ahead and call the repairperson and get it fixed, guy will sulk or complain about the cost or find some other passive-aggressive way to take out his anger on you...even though the problem is solved. What AKA Smith is saying is that if a guy doesn't want to repair stuff, that's fine. But he has no right to play games and sulk if you need to get something fixed. If it has to be done, it has to be done--and as someone noted earlier, the earlier you do it, the less damage and expense you have to deal with later.
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what it all boils down to
This is the greatest put down of men of all. Women treating men like DOGS or vermin rather than being fair to men, respecting their opinions, or accomodating men's needs. "So sorry that you have this issue with liking lots of sex, guys, but we women will use it against you anyway. baahahahahahahaaaa a a a !!!!"
I suspected this was what it all boiled down to, but it's unusual to see someone who will come right out and say it. So - let's make this perfectly clear - you think women should have sex with you, and if they don't want to, it's not fair.
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Sure, and if you take that approach
Don't be surprised when people tell you you are being arrogant, disrespectful, uncommunicative, judgmental and superior.
And as Allie has said, you are wrong to judge all men by the actions of a few.
My point was there was a third alternative that you haven't addressed.
DO IT YOURSELF. Find the Dummy's Guide to plumbing. Put on your Josephine overalls. Fix it yourself.
"There are some domains that guys think are their own..."
Blah blah blah. Because there are no domains that females think are their own and that guys better not touch. Again, this goes to the unquestioned, assumed, invisible gendered assumptions that feminists make all of the time about men and women. And assume women would cooperate better. And communicate better.
But this entire example is one of women refusing to communicate what the real issues are with the man, and instead taking liberty to make all sorts of couple decisions for them.
DISRESPECTFUL. UNTRUSTING. UNDERMINING. ARROGANT. PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE. UNCOMMUNICATIVE. BLAMING. And yes, even emasculating.
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due to the fact that women need as many people as possible in true emotional harmony with them in order to have the largest number of people wanting to help their kid
women have a tendency to be be good at forming these types of relationships. Everyone, men and women, wants these relationships that women have to offer in their personal lives (the compulsion to achieve deep emotional harmony can seem to be more trouble than it is worth in certain commercial and workplace interactions). The question is, how much do women want what men have to offer. Of course I am not suggesting that men lack an inclination towards sociability or bonding but I think most people can see that there are differences that matter a lot, not all of them learned, in the way this inclination manifests.
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Allie, shame on you
That wasn't what he said. You seem perfectly intelligent. Why would you need to twist his words like that?
Does that work for you? To act in an intellectually dishonest way? To twist the arguments of people you are in disagreement with?
Is that the better methods of communications that we have been told women know and use?
Your tactic just then was dishonest. It was demeaning to women for you to stoop to it. It was unfair to men and to Brightstar for you to use it. And it was not very Christian of you.