Letters to the Editor
-
Your assumptions
The husband would do the work, why?
The husband is better at plumbing than the woman, why?
The husband's priorities need to be the same as the wife's, why?
The wife's judgment is better than the husbands, why?
The wife can spend $300 for plumbing without discussing it with her husband, why? Can the husband spend $300 for something he feels the home needs without consulting the wife?
The point about bringing sex into it, is that this is a negotiation between two loving couples, and if you can turn it into a win-win situation, and a playful situation, why not? If you can increase the husband's priority of the task by throwing in some playful sex, why not, doesn't everyone win? But it was really just an example. When you negotiate in a win win positive sum attitude it helps both sides to "expand the pie" by finding ways to help both sides win. Nagging is a zero sum, everyone loses situation. If you want to make it "I'll wash your car" fine.
The problem with the wash situation, was that even though it was his week to do the wash, when the woman says, "you took too long, I couldn't wait, I did mine but not yours." that's just a big passive aggressive argument. Why this passive aggressive crap? How about.... Honey, I know you want to watch the football game, but I really would like the clothes washed and I have a lot of other chores. Can we take five minutes to get it started? Or you can try, "I am getting a bit nervous about having the wash done by tomorrow. It is your week, so I am thinking of just doing a small load of my clothes, and then you can do the rest later.".
Both of those approaches respect the man, respect his choices, make it clear what your needs and desires are, and provides respect and trust that he will fulfill his promise and do the wash on time, but at a time of his choosing.