Letters to the Editor
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Push me pull me
I don;t think their is any conflicting messages about weight. IN fact, I'm pretty certain I have heard nothing but that it good and right to be thin for health and sexy reasons.
If your suggesting that food is put in front of you all the time, well, shit... their just trying to make a buck. And it's not really an 'american' obsession with weight. We've got it much better than our continental cousins at least, and really the rest of the world says we are pretty hefty folks. It's like the idea that 'Americans are uptight about sex.' I don't know we could be bombarded with more sexual imagery. Granted Page 3 of the Sun has boobs, which would be nice, but then again its a crap tabloid and I can see a tranny's ass in the back of the local paper if I want (and I do!).
At any rate: You are patently full of shit, whoever it is to whom I am writing.
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I WAS WONDERING...
Are ALL thin people with high blood pressure excluded from adopting?
Are ALL thin people with heart problems excluded?
Are ALL thin people with hyper-tension excluded?
Are ALL thin people with diabetes excluded?
Are ALL thin people with parents who died of cancer excluded?
Are ALL thin people with fat parents excluded?
NO? ...oh...ummm... then maybe not ALL fat people should be excluded, either.
Get a clue, people... would you give a child to someone who said something like: "I don't want a black child because I'm not black!" or, "I don't want a Jewish child because I'm not Jewish!" or, "I don't want a red-headed child because I don't have red hair." or, "I don't want a fat baby (from fat parents) because I'm not fat."
Do we accept the same discrimination against gays, movie stars, or Scientologists? And if they are discriminated against, I'd argue for them, too, on a case by case basis. And why weren't Britney & Kevin required to prove they'd be good parents before being allowed to breed? Do we really need more "poor, white trash" parents raising more "poor, white trash" children?
To quote my husband: "Poor, white trash might not always be poor, they might not always be white, but they will always be trash."
IF (and it's a big if, pun intended)... IF one is so fat that one is confined to a wheelchair, well then, that's a serious limitation. But as long as one can still wipe one's own ass, leave the fat lady the fuck alone and let her sing for joy at adopting a child wanting a mommy and let's all just get on with life. And as many others said, what about fat fathers?
PUH-LEASE, is foster care ever a better option?
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PCOS
Speaking as one who has PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) I think this kind of law is BS. Having PCOS means you're constantly battling your weight, that you have to be extra careful about monitoring your diet and exercise... it's easy to gain weight when you're not careful. Damn hard to lose it. You also have to be careful about your sugar intake because of the risk of diabetes. But it doesn't mean you can't be a parent, for crying out loud! And, obviously, this woman is dedicated to having a kid - so why does being fat make her an "unfit parent"?
Weight, while it has proven correlations to heart disease, diabetes, and other health issues, has no effect on parenting.
I can understand denying a child to someone with significant health risks that already exist... but denying the option to adopt simply because you're fat and you MIGHT experience certain health conditions one day? Please!
My father is obese. He has been since I was a child. But he's always been active. He was a soccer coach for many years and still avidly enjoys sports (while he himself can no longer play). Being fat didn't make him a bad parent; just as being thin didn't make my mother a better parent.
There are enough bad parents out there as it is; don't rule out the good ones just because there's more to love...
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as another poster said
I'm also adopted. My adoptive parents are very thin; I'm not. My biological daughter is thin. All I did in teaching my kid how to deal with food was to do everything the exact opposite way my parents handled food (and their phobias revolving around it), and my daughter has no eating issues and is of normal weight. So this couple will not necessarily pass on bad eating patterns at all. As long as she is reasonably capable of the physical requirements of parenting, why not give her a chance?
By the way, you can be thin and be really unhealthy. Happens quite often.
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Ben Dover just feels guilty about his own fat
Ben says:
Wrong,
you can't be overweight and fit.
And he'd know, because based on his previous posts, Ben has a BMI of 25.5, which puts him within AMA guidelines for being overweight. Which means Ben is a FATTIE FAT FAT. Good job looking out for those who are following your same sad path and warning them away, Ben! Any luck losing that weight?
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My heart breaks ...
... for this woman and her husband. As someone who endured my share of abuse from the adoption racket before finally becoming a mom through fertility technology, I can imagine how devastated she must feel.
Ma'am, if you are reading these posts, I say hang in there. Do what you can to prevail. If you can find an agency that will treat you like a human being, then do it. If you can't, and it turns out that you simply have to lose more weight, you've done it already, you can do it again. Just grit your teeth and jump through whatever asinine arbitrary hoops those swindlers make you jump through, and then, when you are finally successful -- and they have no more say over you -- tell 'em to go fuck themselves.
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The reason these articles get so much response...
...is that people take them personally. There's zero reason to "bash" people on account of their weight. But it doesn't help anyone to pretend there aren't real reasons obesity might diminish one's suitability as a parent.
I'm assuming there are basic health standards you've got to meet to adopt. That shouldn't surprise anyone. Obviously, you're not doing a kid a favor placing him or her with an invalid. No one disagrees with me here, right? So it's a question of degree.
The key thing to remember is that we're dealing with policies that have to take a limited pool of resources into account. There will inevitably be winners and losers, and these will be determined in some part by balance sheets. It costs nothing to discover a prospective parent is obese, as opposed to other less evident health risk categories.
If this woman can meet the qualifiers by losing the weight then what's the harm in requiring her to?
If she can't, and there's a high probability of serious health problems than she's not a very promising candidate, is she?
BTW, health problems don't have to kill you to be serious. I deal with home foreclosures on a daily basis and the number one cause of default is unexpected illness. If low or moderate income adopted parents experience the common health complications linked to obesity it can very well create snow-balling financial crises.