Letters to the Editor
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But What About The Kid?
Everything in the articles seems to point to the parents' egos. They want to be seen as au courant, stylish, and edgy, but not to the degree that the kid is going to get regularly pantsed in the schoolyard. In their desire to appear interesting and cultured and educated, they are saddling their kids with names that have too many apostrophes, are difficult to pronounce, or tell the world "My parents are dorks".
One example given was with a normal mother-to-be and her wiseassed software engineer husband who wanted to give the kid a stupid name. This has more to do with his desire to be a wiseass than any real concern with his child. That family clearly needs to get a dog, so he can exercise his sense of humor on a creature that does not need to apply for a job at some point.
There are reasons why some names are so common. One reason is that they are easy to spell. When you name your baby Clytemnestra, Calliope or Krysty'lle, come up with an image of that child in preschool, trying to spell that name with a Crayola in a clenched fist. Isn't it a little cruel to throw all those syllables at a kid?
Another reason for the old names is their ease of use for nickname purposes. When the kid is bigger, do you think that her friends are going to address her with her four syllable, Classically inspired name? No, she's going to get a monosyllabic nickname. Why not make it easy on her friends. Elizabeth is Liz, Margaret is Meg, William is Will, and so on. A kid without a nickname is socially dead. Dead, I tell you. If a kid does not have a nickname, even if it is unflattering, she may as well be invisible.
Then, there is the issue of Grandma Mary's will? Who is grammy going to leave all that money to? The kid named Brytny or her little namesake Mary Junior?
The last reason is one that has many names in many cultures. Some call it "crabs in a bucket" others call it "cutting the daisies in the tall grass". If someone stands out, everyone else attempts to cut that person down the the level of the crowd. Why single out your kid for ridicule. Look at what the common baby names are for the year, pick #20, and save your money for something useful, like buying carbon offsets for that huge momvan you just traded your convertible for.