Letters to the Editor
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It takes a village
I read an article in Brain, Child a couple years ago about two mothers who did similar stuff. They called it making their own village. I must agree, though; the sister-wife terminology creeps me out. You don't need polygamy to have a village - or even to have what this actually is: a neighborhood.
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This sounds like cohousing
It has all the things they mentioned... a closer knit community, supportive neighbors, sharing of tasks. www.cohousing.org
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Big Love
Carol,
Are you paying attention, or are you hiding in the same closet as Rebecca Traister? No one who has watched a single episode of Big Love could possibly describe it as 'sanitized' or 'utopian.' Did you see last night's episode? Or do you just make this stuff up?
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Say it with a 'K' sound
Kloyd has officially realised reactionary spaz mode. Doesn;t occur to anyone that the 'sister-wife' appellation used by a handful of suburban wives might be even slightly tongue-in-cheek? Beyond that, this isn't the first time Ms Kloyd has raised her voice regarding the private lives of citizens, and tacked on a mindless formulation/stereotype about male behavior. I wash my fair share of dishes Kloyd!
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How about just Sister (or brother)?
The thing to be envied is having more than just a couple in a house, or maybe being comfortable enough w/ some other folks that you all don't knock before coming in.
In Europe there are still families who share the same farm house their family has lived in for hundreds of years. Grandparents and siblings and children all sharing space.
I wouldn't want to share space w/ my actual sibs, but I have always liked living with more in the house than just a "nuclear" family. It can actually help keep the dynamics of a couple from becoming lopsided.
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Mormon swine? Harsh!
"Op-Ed writer Michele Gazzolo and her friends didn't decide to share their husbands or trade them in for a singularly arrogant Mormon swine..."
Woah - now, I don't think every Mormon (or athiest, or Catholic, or Muslim or whatever) can claim sainthood (well, other than Donny Osmond, but any guy firm enough in his manhood to wear a technicolor dreamcoat is fine by me) - but harsh! What's up with that lumping together?
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Cultures that live in glass houses
shouldn't throw stones.
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Over the top
The reaction here seems quite over the top. This issue is so clearly a non-issue. It's a combination of some women being fans of a good television show and wanting to acknowledge their caring for one another. I thought sisterhood among women was a good thing.
And the term "arrogant Mormon swine," while probably intended to describe a hypothetical individual rather than an entire religion, is a very unfortunate turn of phrase that comes off very, very badly.
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Brother-Husband
Polyandry (the gender-reverse of polygamy) is apparently more common in societies with scarce environmental resources, as it is believed to stabilize population growth and enhance child survival. A woman can have only so many children in her life time, no matter how many husbands she has; a child with many fathers, all of whom provide resources, is more likely to survive. In nature, polyandrous species additionally benefit from the sperm competition after the female has mated with multiple males. Let's face it: this planet doesn't have too much more to give us, and I understand that male sperm counts are at an all-time low.
Our household could use a brother-husband. ;) Seriously though, I have a difficult time caring for my only child on my own, even though my husband comes home every night at a reasonable time, and even though he's madly in love with the baby and helps as much as possible. We have always lived far from any family, but when the baby was about 7 months, I spent almost 2 months living with my parents, visiting with my sisters, staying with a lot of extended family. During that time, I saw my baby thrive, I was fully rested for the first time in a long time, I got a lot of work done, and everything seemed to run like magic. It was great to have many adults (who were *not* giving birth to children of their own) helping me with childcare.
A child requires so many resources (mostly emotional and logistical, but also material) that polyandry makes much more sense than polygamy. Not that I'm advocating either, but if the choice is between those two systems, it's clear that the reasoning of polygamy apologists is flawed. Yes, having multiple wives for one man is one way to provide more caretakers, but that involves so many more kids. And in my experience, the benefits of "economies of scale" don't apply to children.
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Sanitized?
I'm so sick of the knee-jerk feminist reaction to Big Love. Watch the friggin show and tell me it sanitizes "polygamy." I think it's sad liberals seem to treat this particular "alternative lifestyle" the way that conservative treat homosexuality. Polygamists are evil. I think LDS has a gone a long way to further this concept (since Utah's very statehood rested on being anti-polygamous.)
Not all polygamists are prairie clothes wearing, wife beating, pedophiles who live on compounds in the desert. But, if that floats your boat, there's examples of that in Big Love. (Well, not the wife beating as of yet. In fact, the female of species is much more dangerous than the male on Big Love.)
Like the Sopranos, Big Love is a show about a family who happens to be polygamists. I think the women in Michigan who extol the virtues of sister-wives miss how fractious the relationship between the 3 woman on the show actually is. Which, the writer of this article would have seen if she actually watched the show. Granted, they have material help, but if they aren't fighting over the man, their fighting with each other.
Sanitized, my ass.
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Its a creepy inspiration, but in most other eras and cultures women share(d) duties across family lines
Only since the USA's industrial mass production explosion(and the accompaning mass media) have wives been expected to take care of the entire household by themselves. Pre-industrial American women could rely on assistance from friends, neighbors, and relatives to get through the work and share tools and meals. (One of the the most curious aspects of modern American households is why so many have their own giant Kitchenaid mixers, is there that much baking going on?)
These women need to find term like comadres, (like compadres for men) from Latin America. Recognizing a relationship between adults that's stronger than just friends, but without the connotation of sharing spouses. Maybe just use sister.