Of course people have the right to make their own choices in this matter, but I'd have to say that the idea of giving birth without the assistance of someone who's done it before is tremendously frightening to me. Now, I gave birth to my first child (and intend to give birth to my second child, due in six months) in a hospital, and my experience there was wonderful...caring nurses and doctors who asked about and respected my wishes, but above all *knew what to expect and could handle the unexpected*. That, above all, made me feel secure and safe. No matter how much reading you do (and I did a lot), the real thing is different for every woman.

And I have to add my own disdainful "pffft" to the notion that labor pain is psychosomatic, especially since I was told in my childbirth classes that the pain would be completely manageable with breathing, etc., and was really not prepared for the intensity of it. "Hemorrhoids were worse"? Seriously?

The main point I wanted to make, however, was brought about by nox's posts about his wife's delivery and (especially) the description of the aftermath of Elizabeth Vick's birth in the original article...specifically, her husband's reaction to her bleeding. My goodness, I can't begin to imagine how frightened he must have been for his wife...and it occurred to me that I don't think I'd feel right about placing that kind of burden on my husband (as capable and cool-headed as I'm sure he'd be in that situation). I don't know that I'd ever be able to forgive myself for causing that degree of anguish, even if everything turned out OK.

It just seems anti-instinctual to go do this alone. We are not cats. We have a rich history (that crosses geographical, racial, religiousand class barriers) of women assisting other women in childbirthing. It's a moment (of hour, or day, depending!) to strengthen community between women. And what is so disempowering about saying "I'm tired. Could you please rub my back while I push this baby out?" What is so weak about wanting to hold someome's hand through one of the most mysterious processes our bodies have?

As for the "pain is all in your head" part. That's just silly. Ther uterus is a muscle. It contracts to expel a child. Any long, sustained, repeated contractions of muscles are painful (crunches anyone? bicep curls? now do 1000 reps over 8 hours and tell me it doesn't "hurt"). Never mind that babies can sometimes press against the spine (back labor) or get caught in the pelvis, or tear the *delicate* skin of the perineum on their way out. All of these things impact nerves which sends messages of "ouch!" to the brain.

Is childbirth as "painful" as a compound fracture of the femur? As donating mone marrow? Probably not. Labor, after all, is something the female body has been designed to withstand. But, here's nothing unfeminine about honestly admiting that childbirth is no pedicure!

thanks for the good writing and insightful observations.

I know a woman who did this. She also didn't immunize her children or have receive any healthcare EVER, and she unschools. I consider her to be the biggest flake I know, and not a very harmless one at that. The poster whose wife 'distrusted strangers' enough to want to give birth alone in the basement with a hottub and candles does nothing to dispel my impression that these couples or single women who do this are eccentric fools. Hopefully their luck will hold out when they too refuse to immunize or participate in their community schools, as I suspect most will do.

You don't have to be an obstetrician to know that while childbirth is a natural event, so is maternal and infant death. Midwives of old didn't wash their hands any more than doctors did, by the way. The reason most of us go to the hospital is because we know that when something goes wrong in childbirth, it goes wrong fast. We will happily trust those strangers if we need them so that we and our babies can live.

Another reason we give birth in hospitals is pain management. I can't believe people are still saying labor pain is imaginary! I would like those people who think this to meet my mother in law: she gave birth 12 times without any pain management at all. She will tell you that some labors were quick, some long, some incredibly painful, some easy. Noone can generalize about this. Personally, mine felt like torture and if I ever do it again I'll take the epidural without any shame.

Lastly, everyone who reads this should reflect on how many women and babies we know who wouldn't be here if it weren't for modern obstetrics. I know several. Even the anonymous husband whose wife gave birth in the basement was probably grateful that those doctors were 5 minutes away.

Let's see, I got my period at 12, and started having sex on my 17th birthday, so nature's plan was for me to have my first child at 17 and 9 months (if not by 13!). Frankly, I probably could have freebirthed then!

Instead, at age 33, albeit a perfectly healthy, problem-free, normally pregnant 33, I was profoundly grateful for the nurses, midwives, and nurse anesthetists who attended my first child's birth--not to mention my husband, friend, and mother-in-law.

When I've been messing with Mother Nature for 15 years, it's not a good time for me to start calling in chits from her, now is it?

(Seriously: teens have lower c-section rates and faster deliveries. The problems stemming from teen pregnancy are due to the socioeconomic status of the teens, not their age.)

My best friend has birthed three big, healthy girls, the first with a midwife at home and the second two unassisted. Would I birth unassisted? No, but I do intend to birth at home with a midwife. I also live five minutes from an excellent hospital should (god forbid) complications arise. The U.S. has one of the highest rates of in-hospital births, and also one of the highest infant mortality rates. Developed countries where midwife-assisted homebirth is the norm have significantly lower rates of complications and infant mortality.

I think one major problem is that women are not educated about their options when it comes to birthing. Choose whichever way seems best to you, but make an educated choice.