Were these women doing this to themselves because they wanted to be "fit" for marriage, or because they were somehow obligated?

I assume the problem is that it's difficult to demand traditional responsibilities from men when flouting them so obviously yourself. It ought to be obvious to anyone though that under the conditions described here the women will be picking and choosing which traditions they consider binding on themselves anyway.

"I assume the problem is that it's difficult to demand traditional responsibilities from men when flouting them so obviously yourself. It ought to be obvious to anyone though that under the conditions described here the women will be picking and choosing which traditions they consider binding on themselves anyway."

Right, even if they choose to put themselves through a procedure I would consider to be useless from my liberated Western perspective, at least these Muslim women are experiencing the freedom of choice and options as was pointed out by the article. Maybe not the choices I would make but at least they have some choices, which is probably something a lot of them are not used to.

It's certainly better than only meeting 10 or 20 people through one's family, but it's still crazy. These people are in France and Britain. Most women there see no need to be virgins at marriage, if they get married at all! Why are there "French Muslims" and "British Muslims" at all? One would think freedom from religion would be appealing. I guess to a point it is, and we just have to give it a little more time and effort.

This tone of this article suggests that internet matchmaking is new for Muslim women. In fact, it has been going on for as long as non-Muslim internet matchmaking. The concept is an extension of courtship practices already in place before the internet was invented.

Because of the strong taboo against premarital sex, single Muslims find little difficulty in courting at a distance, nor are they inclined to enjoy long engagements. The criteria for Muslim courtship is more objective than subjective. Family of origin, nationality, economic and educational status, occupation, age, and previous marriage history are all factors more important than geographical location.

Muslim populations tend to relocate more often and more easily than non-Muslim populations, and travel frequently for vacation as well as for family reunions.

The last paragraph, with its reference to the odious practice of hymen restoration, is irrelevant to the theme of internet matchmaking. This reader wonders why the author included it.

The actual newspaper story about reconstructed hymens is very worth reading, for it's genuine insight into the mindset of young Muslin women living abroad, and how custom, family and the demands of bridegrooms have them panicked into this ridiculous, painful and very expensive surgery (about $4000 US).

Obviously, having your hyman "sewn up" does not make you a virgin, just as not having a hymen does not guarantee you have lost your virginity. Some women have no hymen, or just a vestigal one, naturally and other women stretch or break it, without having intercourse. It's just a piece of thin tissue! it has no meaning at all, except what we assign to it culturally, and frankly, that is cruel and stupid and medieval.

What really jumps out at me from the Reuters piece is that the women are pressured by family, one girl saying "it would kill her mother" and so on, or that the potential grooms would reject them. How many women, even in our Western society, still fear being called "sluts" or having their sexual behavior scrutinized and judged? Men suffer from none of these things, there is no standard for male virginity, or "proof" which must be supplied. It's hard for me to picture a Muslim father who would "be devastated or go insane" if he found out that his SON was not virgin!

This is a pretty horrible thing, and I can only feel the deepest pity and sadness for Islamic women who feel forced to have this kind of surgery. It's also just about one half step away from female genital mutilation in its expressed hatred for women's sexuality.

the fact that women can choose their partners is good, the fact that they have to appear to be virgins is bad. Obviously the only reason they have to appear to be virgins is because they want to choose some form of a traditionalist partner.