As a man, I don't believe that our society's celebration of misogyny is based primarily on homophobia, as gays also love to bash females, as it is based on this simple rule: "There's nothing worse than being born a girl; thus, by virtue of being male, I am not the worst." Misogyny is iron-clad insurance: "You will never be a member of the worthless; you matter" (Think: A Man's Search for Meaning meets Freudian "penis envy.").

The cardinal rule in being a "man" is "Don't be a girl!" with "girl" being synonymous w/ all things treacherous and downright evil (Notice how "bitch," a blatant anti-female slur, is now the ultimate "generic" insult amongst males. Imagine "kike" being used that way and you see how disturbing such casual hate is.). Society is clear: To be a man is to be the antithesis of a woman. Thus, to be a man is to be a bigot.

I don't think so. It's a softer version of the "Village People" twist.

I've been a longtime reader of Bob Herbert, and I'm happy to see him getting recognition for the work he does as a journalist to bring serious incidents of injustice to the public's attention. Several years ago he wrote at least 12 articles about a situation in Tulia Texas in which 38 people were convicted on various drug charges in a raid targeting blacks in Tulia, a town of only 5000.

The people were arrested on the word of a white undercover officer who is now under indictment on perjury charges. They received long jail sentences up to 90 years, but it took years of work and volunteer lawyers, and finally an act of the legislature to get them free.

Bob Herbert would not let the world forget, and he wrote a number of articles about the miscarriage of justice detailing inconsistencies. I am overwhelmed at the good he has done, at the injustice he helped ameliorate, and at the lives he has brightened. Too bad there are so few like him today.

I can certainly understand how heartening it is to read Bob Herbert's analysis of the role of misogyny in so many of these incidents of violence by men, but I hope you also swoon for the many women commentators who have been making these points all along, but who can't get the exposure Mr Herbert gets. Let's not make a fetish out of the fact that a man writes with clarity when so many women have been prevented from publishing such things among the big boys. And when women have had the rare chance to comment, they often become the target of violent backlash - like sickening, threatening emails or foul judgements of their appearance. I'm happy to "heart" Bob Herbert, but I wish some of the brilliant women I read on alternative sources were available to a wider public to "heart" also.

...the pathological fear of so many men that they aren't quite tough enough, masculine enough -- in short, that they might have homosexual tendencies.

My moments of misogynistic thinking (long ago and far away) were largely based on an inability to get laid in a college environment filled with attractive, probably available, and potential willing women. I was nerdish, socially awkward, and felt completely clueless. In those moments where I wasn't criticizing myself, I'd blame the women for being willfully attractive yet out of my reach.

I was excruciatingly clear that I sucked, at least in the mating game. But it never occurred to me to doubt my masculinity, or think I was gay. I hate to be naive in public, but is that a common interpretation that guys apply to not getting dates?

And it's been stated in Joan's blog's letters section already but it should be done again.

"The worst thing of all, the hardest to fathom, the most infuriating but the most important, is this: It literally means nothing. It is random, senseless, incomprehensible. We wish it meant something. It would feel better if it meant something. We try hard to manufacture something that it can mean. But it stubbornly means nothing. Literally, it is a sign of nothing, the nothing that surrounds us, the nothing we must face, the implacable end we come to." -- Cary Tennis

So, basically people are getting killed because these guys can't get laid? Maybe we can use this to push for legalizing prostitution. :)