Letters to the Editor
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Option
There is one way to prevent aging, and I intend to exercise it. It's the Ernest Hemingway/James Whale/Hunter S. Thompson/Sara Teasdale option. Of course, I hope it doesn't come to it, but after watching all of my grandparents go through hideous second childhoods, I have resolved not to let that happen to me. Of course, the use of bullets isn't fair to the cleanup crew, but I digress.