Letters to the Editor
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The golden rule of being in the minority.
Speaking as someone gay, albeit male, I've formulated a personal rule that I think covers everyone who's a member of a minority.
It's not cool just because you're the one doing it.
This may seem simplistic but I think that there are people in minorities or disempowered groups (women for example) tend to feel that they can behave horribly and because of their minoritie status it's OK. I'm thinking of antisemitism in the black community, of racism among jews, of women who think being violent is somehow OK because they're women and of the many vile behaviours that are unfortuntely practiced in the gay community.
I should point out that I don't think minority groups behave worse on average and that the most powerful groups (wealthy white men) have an entire system of self-justification that's more far reaching and sophisticated than any other.
This is a long winded way of saying that calling your girlfriend a ho and treating her like shit is not cool just because you lack a Y chromosone.
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since subverting male dominance is good but dominating actual females is bad
the only solution is for straight girls to start dominating straight boys; given the fashion and cultural leadership of the gay community and the inherent androgyny of human beings this shouldn't be a problem, or at least it wouldn't be if the all powerful patriarchy didn't have such a stranglehold.
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Meow
the only solution is for straight girls to start dominating straight boys
Start? I mean, I'm no brightstar, but c'mon, most of my male friends are well and truly whipped.
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When did being a poser get to be so popular?
As I read this, the only thing I felt was embarrassment for the "aggressive" lesbians trying to act like something they're not.
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Start? I mean, I'm no brightstar, but c'mon, most of my male friends are well and truly whipped.
True, but I'm referring to acting it out in public in the style discussed here.
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From an oldster dyke
When I was young and in the scene (80's) femmes were tough and sexually self actualized, radicals. Femininity was getting defined and distorted in really fun and interesting ways. The queer scene was further underground than it is now: hetero norms floated off in the straight normal world, far far away, in another galaxy.
Perhaps as lezzies have gotten normalized ala Ellen and The L Word, hetero norms are more stifling.
Also I've felt for awhile that the queer girl world has been absorbed by various crises of lesbian masculinity. Dyke realness is butch and/or F2M. The dyke community as a whole has been a stage for performances of same (yawn). I think femmes have less status than they used to (boo hoo, my nostalgia chokes me up!).
Of course it's possible this is a specific sign of the influence of the msogyny of rap, as it's happening more among women of color.
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I Know Nothing Of Lesbian Society but,
I have observed very masculine Black lesbians engage in similar behavior before gangsta rap. I likened it to the extreme feminity of men in prison. I beleive, but can't prove, many of the femme lesbians in this subculture aren't so much gay as lonely and wounded. They require a man. There is a shortage of men in this community. The real lesbian, whatever that means, must act like a real man, abusive, to get these women.
Because the woman are wounded they jump from mate to mate to be taken care of and dominated. I guess a significant number of the femmes have children form previous similar relationships with men.
These folks have been on Jerry Springer playing out this dynamic. Femme to boyfriend, "She takes better care of me and the kids than you. If you had been around this wouldn't be."
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Just as a defender of hip-hop
If you're going to rightfully give Tupac hell for the lousy misogynist stuff he did, you should also point out that John Lennon wrote "Run for your Life".
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"...many male hip-hop fans find 'more masculine' female rappers a challenge to their 'personal ideals of masculinity,'"
I remember when I first heard Menajahtwa on Eazy-E's "Gangsta Beat 4 Tha Street"... she fucking killed that track. I still get goosebumps when she kicks into her high-pitched, staccato flow. I have no idea about her sexual identity... all I know is the radio would be a lot more fun with at least some AG spirit.
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stupid is as stupid does, regardless of race, gender, or sexuality
There are no redeeming qualities to be found in the behavior described in this--or any--subculture that does not begin with self-respect and carry through to respect for each other. As Tracy noted, John was taken from us while Tupac lived and died by violence. I'll take the philosophy behind Imagine any day over hip hop. That doesn't make me racist, it simply speaks to my maturity.
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Re: Just as a defender of hip-hop
"If you're going to rightfully give Tupac hell for the lousy misogynist stuff he did, you should also point out that John Lennon wrote 'Run for your Life.' "
--True enough, but at least Lennon appeared radically and positively to change his more insensitive early Beatles posturing before he died. Better late than never!
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We are not so different
Reading this story just reinforces my belief that we are human first and our respective genders second. We have equal capacity for selfish and arrogant behavior, despite our gender and despite our sexual orientation. Cultural norms give us cover for our behavior, but underlying it all is humanity, good or bad.
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Doormats are not Particuliar to Sexual Orientation
Reading this dishearting article reminded me of a scene from the early 80's cult classic, "Liquid Sky". A female character whose girlfriend is a very abusive and dominering women, listlessly recites, "Don't sleep with men because they will walk all over. Instead sleep with women. Then women will walk all over you."
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The Article is Much More Interesting if You Imagine...
Gertrude Stein and Alice Toklas as the AG and the femme. What's more aggressive than writing your wife's autobiography?
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We've Come a Long Way
Finally, wealthy straight white women can dictate how poor black lesbians should behave.
What a time to be alive.
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Prison culture
Having read the original article in Village Voice, it is apparent that these women are for the most part members of or products of the criminal underclass and this behavior represents a kind of extension of the values of prison society.
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I'm not surprised.
And in the lesbian community, the ridiculousness of this kind of abuse is especially glaring: Women who have created a subculture outside the heteronormative mainstream are using old-fashioned, mainstream sexist values to objectify other women.
No more ridiculous than domestic violence in lesbian households. And those old-fashioned, mainstream (??) sexist values are the basis of the butch-femme dichotomy that used to be the norm among lesbians. If you're interested in personal-history essays, check out The Persistent Desire.
Tracy, you sound like you expect gay women to be immune to this kind of crap. Unfortunately, we're people, and some of those people do really stupid and hurtful things to each other. The bigger surprise would be if these women weren't mimicking their male counterparts. Most of us live in a straight culture, and it affects us even when we know it's happening and even when we think it's stupid. Like anyone else, gay women have to make a conscious effort to reject the cultural baggage they don't want.