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Speaking as someone gay, albeit male, I've formulated a personal rule that I think covers everyone who's a member of a minority.
It's not cool just because you're the one doing it.
This may seem simplistic but I think that there are people in minorities or disempowered groups (women for example) tend to feel that they can behave horribly and because of their minoritie status it's OK. I'm thinking of antisemitism in the black community, of racism among jews, of women who think being violent is somehow OK because they're women and of the many vile behaviours that are unfortuntely practiced in the gay community.
I should point out that I don't think minority groups behave worse on average and that the most powerful groups (wealthy white men) have an entire system of self-justification that's more far reaching and sophisticated than any other.
This is a long winded way of saying that calling your girlfriend a ho and treating her like shit is not cool just because you lack a Y chromosone.