Letters to the Editor
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Swiss National Tax Board?
I think you meant Swedish National Tax Board.
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Geography is your friend
Right up there with Anonymous. Switzerland and Sweden really aren't the same little country with blonde people. And I'm wondering if the bureaucracy in this is really the tax board or some other government agency.
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A rose by any other name...
It's silly that the government would attempt to have any say in what parents name their children, since there is no possible standard by which to judge a name. Metallica isn't that bad at all, and she is very unlikely to get picked on for it.
The only kid that is going to even TRY starting anything is the toe-headed little girl over in the corner name Motorhead. She, needless to say, will hand poor little Metallica her ass.
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Two things
I made a snide comment about Broadsheet when it was introduced specifically BECAUSE you promised "celebrity dish." Broadsheet has turned out to be a lot more interesting than I expected because you haven't focused thusly. Just one man's opinion, so take it for what it's worth. Just saying.
I don't really see this as fitting that bill. Sure, there's the Metallica connection, so I guess that's celebrity-ish. But whatever. The actual name isn't that important to the story. It's really about whether parents should have the right to name their children whatever they want. Now, I happen to think they should, even if it's something as nitwit as Metallica, a band whose constipated sense of self-importance is outmatched only by the breathless humorlessness of its fans.
Let the poor sods name their kid Metallica. Hell, we let parents name their kids stuff like Ashtyn and Tifanee.
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I suppose of all the harm parents do--wittingly and unwittingly--to their children
that naming them whatever they choose it hardly worth worrying about.
I'm reminded of the Saturday Night Live sketch with Nicholas Cage and how easy it is to make fun of just about anyone's name. (You'll recall his was pronounced Ozz-Weep-Ay but spelled Asswipe.)
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I Wonder
what Moon Unit & Dweezil think about this?
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In defense of Sweden's naming policy
The idea behind it is to preserve traditional Swedish names, rather than end up with a country full of Britney Jansens and Paris Larssons. Of course, in college I knew Swedish girls names Charlotte (Lotta), Maria and Jenny (pronounced "Yenny") but these were all on the list (or maybe there wasn't a list yet.) American and English culture is a constant "intrusion" there, so this is one way to preserve Swedish culture.
That said, I would fully support a naming policy in the US forbidding inventive spelling only. You can name your kid Apple, just don't add any extraneous Ys, silent letters, or apostrophes to a name like Ashley.
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My name is Alara
And I am very, very happy with my name, which is damn near unique (there is a little girl named Alara who's about 7, somewhere in Texas, and there are a bunch of Turkish Alaras, but in comparison to most people I know? No contest.)
So I am firmly in the camp of "let parents name their kids any damn thing they want." I tried to come up with a very unusual name for my first biological daughter, but couldn't get my husband to sign off on any of my more obscure ideas, so she ended up with a common Russian name (we are not Russian, though.) Yeah, you're going to get the occasional Moon Unit, but personally I am in *favor* of the Alyse's and the Kyrstens and the Genifyars... the more unique your name is, the more of your personality it conveys and the less of some generic celebrity or a preconceived stereotype.
So let the Swedes name their daughters Metallica! Who the hell cares? I'm pretty sure if they were immigrants who wanted to name their daughter a non-Swedish name that was popular in their own culture, they would have been allowed to do so (or else we'd have heard by now). Why does a culture demand that there be a limited supply of names anyway?
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Another Broadsheet reader pegged accurately (drat!)
So yeah, you're right. Broadsheet readers do indeed have a deep allegiance to Metallica. (At least some of us.) So much so that it prompted me to write my first ever letter to the broadsheet editor.
I first clicked through to the story simply in indignation at having the headline call Metallica a "thrash metal" band. To me, that label had always been associated with bands like Slayer and Sepultura which I never listen to, and of which I consequently have no understanding.
To me, Metallica seemed like middle of the road, mainstream heavy metal, and to apply the subgenre label of "thrash" seemed completely unnecessary.
However, I've just spent a very interesting few minutes reading the Wikipedia entry about thrash. And I stand corrected. Historically, Catherine Price (or the editor who wrote the headline) is 100% accurate to refer to Metallica as a "thrash metal band." So hey, score ANOTHER one for journalism!
And for what it's worth, I think that kid will be bad-ass (and I mean that as a compliment) if and (hopefully when) her parents win the right to name her "Metallica."
And while I'm at it, thanks for all the good writing and work since this collumn launched.
--A loyal reader (of the "male" subgenre)
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Fifi Trixibell
was allowed by the British. She's the daughter of Sir Bob Geldorf and the late Paula Yates. There may be knockoff Fifi Trixibells in the States but I've never run across one.
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Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily
Was the name of Paula Yates' kid that she had with that guy from INXS--and then when Yates died, Geldof tried to get custody of the little girl (did he?)
I don't know why you'd want to name your kid Metallica, but I don't see why you SHOULDN'T. Personally, I don't think people should name their kids anything that you see more often as a name for a Golden Retriever (this includes, but is not limited to, Dusty, Cody, Indy, and Brandy). But once again, whatever.
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"Shouldn't"
Amend that to SHOULDN'T name their kids anything you see more often as the name of a golden retriever...
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OK, never mind
I was right the first time. Jeebus.
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Correction
When did the correction (the sudden and stunning realization that agencies in Sweden are most likely Swedish and not Swiss)occur. And who stole the globe and access to Mapquest in the Salon offices beforehand?