"all the mags seen to focus on teaching women how to please their man"

Cosmo has an entire section devoted to teaching women how to be pleased by men: http://magazines.ivillage.com/cosmopolitan/archive/0,,544153,00.html

and A Woman's Body: An Owner's Manual taught me how to masturbate myself to orgasm, and that was first published in the 1970s, I think.

I know this doesn't have anything to do with the scientist's search for a female arousal drug, but as some have said, as far as creating the mechanics of female arousal, there's already something for that. The rest is in one's mind, people have said, or is it? I have noticed that when I use hormonal birth control methods, it decreases my sex drive. So I think at least some of the time, some female arousal problems have to do with hormones and internal chemical signals (such as the decrease in sex drive following menopause). It makes sense, since the purpose of sex is to make children, that if the body is no longer fertile, it has no need or desire for sex. I wonder if the male birth control pill uses hormonal signals to prevent fertility, if it will have the same effect on men.

I think what I'm really trying to say is: I need a nice, sexy man with a vasectomy! :D

"One of the greatest mysteries -- to scientists and inexperienced Romeos alike -- is the process of female sexual arousal. According to one of the governing models, it 'starts with desire, progresses through excitement or arousal and ends with orgasm.'

This model highlights one problem. When speaking of women it should say, "...ends with not one, not two, but multiple orgasms."

I don't know about other women but with the right guy and his knowledge of how to make love, I could have orgasms until the cows come home, and then some. Unfortunately, there are a few guys out there (well, at least one for sure who actually admitted this to me), who are intimidated by this ability of women to come, and come and come again.

One other comment... all the mags seen to focus on teaching women how to please their man. I think there would be a helluva lot less sexual problems if more mags focused on teaching men what they could do to sexually please their women. Pheromones only go so far...

there is no longer a patriarchy.

Hang on. Then I read his second comment and changed my mind again. Sorry.

Holy crap, Brightstar65 just posted a comment that didn't make me want to smack him upside the head!

I'll be damned.

Well done, Brightstar.

When I was much younger I had an affair with a married woman. She was quite beautiful, but had been brought to believe that her vagina was not to be touched, by her or anyone. So sex to her was penetration without arousal. Her poor husband was a wham-bam, thank you ma'am, guy. She had one child, but had never had an orgasm in her life. She read lots of romance books and was yearning for "love". I managed to seduce her, and proceeded to arouse her in the ways that I knew. She told me later that she was so intimidated by me that she could not stop me from touching the "untouchable". So she had an orgasm, and immediately proceeded to cry, saying over and over again "I'm normal, I'm normal". Needless to say it was disconcerting to be humping away on a crying woman, but of course I did. We had a very nice few months. She wanted to divorce her husband and marry me, but I knew it was not a good idea. She was from a wealthy family and I was a poor guy, and I knew it couldn't work. But she went on to get divorced and married another guy and lived happily ever after, as did I.

Feminism has been the worst offender in removing women's desire for sex with men.

After all, if a woman believes a man is inferior to her, filthy, ugly, and a pest to boot, why or how would she ever generate any desire of excitement over the prospect of being with him?

This problem is very logical and severely overlooked by liberal driven so-called academics who have no clue what they are studying and the context in which they are studying it when they look at female sexuality.

Oh, one more thing (I could go on all day about sexuality). One technique I recently discovered helps me to generate a lot more sexual energy. It is a mental game I play- that is, if I give myself a mental choice in my mind, for instance, am I more interested in listening more to what is going on in my body or am I more interested in denying it. Of course the answer is that I am interested in the former, since I want more enjoyment of the sex. But my merely defining the issue as a choice of one or the other suddenly makes my mind go to the choice I truly want. You can play this mental game with any two or even three choices. I bet this works for women too.

is not so alien. Sometimes one is enthusiastic for the experience even before one feels sexy. This works for both male and female.

This whole subject of male and female sexuality has interested me my whole life.

I think the core problem with women and their sexuality is that too few women explore their own bodies enough to know what gets them going and what gets them off.

This is exacerbated both by a puritanical culture that tells you it is bad to touch yourself coupled with the busy busy nature of school and work life these days where everyone is too damn tired to be interested in exploration of sensuality and sexuality WITHOUT TIME CONSTRAINTS.

Add in that women follow each other like elephants in believing simplistic models of what men supposedly want (big tits, makeup on face, all the other crap women think men want in them) RATHER than following their inner bliss and developing a personality interesting enough to create one's own sexual paradise within and without- one DRIVEN by the women themselves rather than at the mercy of the first playa who can make her wet. Somehow, women expect that if only they snag the right playa type guy, the sex will be perfect, when in reality becoming more non sexually intimate with a compatible chemistry laden male is more important in developing greater and greater bliss over time. - is the problem lack of creativity in women too?

Is the problem also that men are not taught how to be desirable to women? That only the guys whose dads are irresponsible playa bastards become the ones trained to pile on the notches on the bedpost? This anonymous sex seems to rule in America more and more at the expense of slow, sensual sexual play with a couple who know each other well.

Women seem to play so many games in the dating world, holding back sex as a tool of manipulation, that it is not surprising the model that is emerging is one where the expert playas get all the action and the rest of the chump frustrated men become more and more beggars, not knowing what it is that is not allowing them to be more successful lovers and more sucessful men.

Women doing this also makes sex into something LESS THAN what it truly is, which is that sex is the divine infinite bliss of merging with our creator thru sharing our bodies with another or with ourselves. God knows I know of too few women who would even understand such concepts or admit to thinking them.

Another tack is what some woman has labeled the 'orgasm diet'. It involves some combination of Omega 3s, chocolate, protein (meats), daily vitamins with magnesium and zinc, and a few other items. Hey, throw in some pot or likker too! The diet sure makes me have more desire and feel looser and more sexy, and I'm a guy!

Also, avoid restaurant and prepared foods- they contaiin up to some combination of 15,000 compounds that do not have to be listed on the ingredient label- you can thank your government for allowing such illicit adulteration of the food supply, but blame your lack of libido on it, you can be sure.

The problem is not lack of a drug or other solution. For instance, mild electric shocks to the lower spine may trigger mechanical orgasms but they will not make a woman WANT sex or orgasm more.

A creative, open minded, uninhibited woman who eats healthy and is not afraid of being assertive does not have sexual problems, I can guarantee it!