USDA Choice motherhood! Yum!

YUCK!

I like the idea of every mother a mother by choice, but this is just stupid terminology. And the word "choice" doesn't even bother me that much in most contexts, but this diction is horrible. A choice should be a noun; "choice" used as a modifier means something entirely different, and something I don't think we want to apply to humans.

Maybe it's just because I'm a vegetarian?

Choice Motherhood is not a particularly good label.

It's effective in its sphere of progressives; however outside that sphere the word choice and the stigma of frivolity associated with it only serves to push forward the same stereotypes.

If a word other than simply mother or parent must be applied something that illustrates the weight and responsibility of the decision would be appropriate.

Perhaps "Called Motherhood" as in, "I was called to be a mother as some are called to serve in other ways." People vary rarely speak of parenthood as a calling, but in truth it very much is. In the way that a young man or woman feels the call to serve god, or country, or simply their fellow man, so to are people called to serve the next generation of humanity as parents.

Often we may feel we are unfit, or feel that we are unwanted in our service, but the call brings us to understand how important what we do is.

Just as a young woman takes up arms to defend democracy abroad, or a young man is called to bring peace to restless souls, so to are many called to be mothers, fathers, and parents even when all those around them tell them it is a mistake.

Whether you are a non traditional couple granting a home and love to a child forgotten by others, or a woman making the choice to create a child to raise to the betterment of all man kind, you are called, and it is in service to us all that you do as you do.

"Being a good parent is more important than being a married one."

Why are the only possible choices presented single, go-it-alone parenthood or marriage? What does matrimony have to do with child rearing? Nothing.

The true choice described is between raising a child by yourself or doing it in partnership with another person--spouse or partner, other sex or same.

But given that a good parent is one that tries to raise their child as best they can do, why would anyone intentionally choose to deprive the kid from the advice and role modelling of another adult? In other words, what sane adult willingly enters parenthood thinking they know best and are capable of raising children without a helping hand, or a partner to help out? I understand that millions of parents are forced to do that every day--the operative word here being "forced". We've all been forced to cope with the circumstances we've been dealt. But why intentionally choose something that is not, any way you slice it, in the best interests of the child, simply because you can't or won't deal with another adult relationship? And what kind of message are you sending to your child--that s/he's an island, doesn't need anyone's influence or love in the word to make it?

This go-it-alone attitude strikes me as Rumsfeldian, both in its design and its likelihood of success.

What this country needs is not more hand-wringing about the morality of different parenting structures -- single, married, straight or gay.

Of course not.

Instead let's all wring our hands about the morality of Paris Hilton.

What Morrissette calls "Choice motherhood" is an inspiring and exciting option to have in front of us, especially as it gains increased social acceptance and an infrastructure that may better support it. But the tacking on of "choice" as a kind of brand name brings a lot of unneccessary baggage.

Like the Bill of Rights, for example?

When your biological clock strikes midnight, you may not have time to wait for Prince Charming to ride in on a white horse and whisk you away. You have to make up the ending yourself -- good, bad or somewhere in the middle.

I'm not so sure that women are choosing single motherhood as much as they are choosing not to marry, then getting pregnant.

The difference? "Choosing Single Motherhood" implies artificial insemination or having sex with someone you expect no future with but still hope you'll get pregnant.

In reality, I think women choose not to get married (or get married later).

1. These are women with jobs and homes who don't need to be married to be adults (as opposed to the generations that went straight from daddy's house to their husband's).

2. These are women with their own means and their own expectations of what marriage should be.

3. These are women who still date and have sex. And sometimes sex leads to babies. Maybe they weren't using the pill 100% correctly (or maybe they were). Maybe the condom broke. Maybe they don't always use protection because being pregnant wouldn't be the worst thing in the world even though they weren't actively pursuing it.

4. And sometimes these are non-married women in other serious relationships where they fully expect the father to play an active, if lesser role, in the child's upbringing.

Which is why I think all of this "Choosing Single Motherhood" stuff is largely a bunch of nonsense. For few it seems to be an active choice.

I was a product of single motherhood, but it was forced on her, she chose wrong and the man she married decided one day that the 3 children he'd agreed to have was just so hard for him so he walked out one day and only came by my 7th birthday party to give my mom the signed divorce papers, he didn't even stay for cake.

So perhaps I'm a little on the bitter side since one of my parents decided I and my siblings weren't worth a bother to him.

But to me anyone who makes the decision to bring a child into the world full well knowing there isn't another parent in the picture is just foolhardy and selfish. But maybe it's different when the child knows no parent left him or her, just that mommy needed someone to love so badly that she had a child.

But hey, it's a free country but it's a decision and choice, but isn't almost every mother a mom by choice, at least in countries with abortion and adoption? So I don't really know how someone could say they made the choice and because they are single they are in a different choice bracket than a married couple that decides the time is right to make the family bigger.

Most people make the choice or decision to become a parent, let's not hold women who decide to go it alone as some sort of noble choice, it's a purely selfish one to fill a void in their life.