Letters to the Editor
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Why do you assume the problem here is with women?
I am so fed up of studies that ask "Why don't more women watch porn?" This study, like virutally all other such sex studies, assumes that men exhibit normative behaviour, and women - as the Other - deviate from the norm.
Why is it assumed that women's sexuality is abnormal and mysterious, and that to understand it we must view it through the prism of what men do, which is assumed to be normal and uncomplicated?
Here's another way of looking at it. A lot of porn involves sad, desperate people, many of whom are on drugs, and a large number of whom have suffered childhood sexual abuse (around 70% of female sex workers, and 90% of teenaged sex workers). These deeply troubled people, often disfigured into gruesome Barbie pastiches by surgery, risk STDs and physical damage to copulate depressingly with someone they probably don't even like in a brightly-lit studio with a camera rammed up against their bits. And that's if they're lucky, and it isn't anything involving group sex, BDSM or animals. The end product is often a grim series of extreme genital close-ups cut with badly faked bodies and badly faked arousal.
Why aren't we asking: "Why do so many men find this exploitative freakshow a turn-on?"
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By The Way
I'm single.
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My wish list
Someone else posted wanting mountains and serenading and romance in porn. I couldn't care less about that aspect of it, but a couple of other things she said rang very true for me:
- What's shown as turning women on often really doesn't. Some of what's shown (digital penetration by another woman who has long fingernails is a common one) can really hurt.
- I want a story. It doesn't have to be a romantic story (in fact, better for me if not) but it has to be a story. Why are these people here having sex? I want the setup.
- The airbrushed too-smooth made-up bodies are a turnoff. 70s softcore, as someone else mentioned, is really pretty good in part because the women look good. I like the way women look when they sag just a bit and when they turn their heads in ecstasy things move. Otherwise, it's like a giant doll--and that doesn't do it for me at all.
'Course, the point of turning it around and asking "why do so many men like this stuff?" is a very valid one.
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Why?
Why do men like porn? I don't really know. I just know what I like..... It's like asking why do we sit on our asses in front of ballgames on television hour after hour, night after night.
I am porn. I am sports. I am invincible. I am man.
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80's hair
I think the reason for the 80's "big hair" on strippers, etc. is partly because big hair helps fool the eye into making the body seem smaller in proportion to the head. It helps the entire figure "read" as more childlike, youthful. That's one explanation I heard for "big hair" when it was popular.
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There is no porn for me
Basically, I find men in hetero porn unattractive - if the men are even shown without clothes on (same rules apply to hip hop videos). The camera obviously lingers on plasticized women 90% of the time, usually on close-ups of penetration, which are not appealing in the least.
I've got to admit I haven't explored much porn made for women, but based on what I've seen and read about it, I'm skeptical. I don't care about tenderness or Harlequin storylines. I'm interested in aggressive sex, light S&M, but all hetero porn in this area features female dominatrixes, often with other women, or women in bondage being tortured. The only place you'll find a remotely attractive male "dominator" is in gay porn, which presents its own set of turn-offs for women. My imagination offers much more than the local video store.
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Why do men like this stuff?"
The question has been raised,
Well, I am a man, and I like porn.
There, I said it. I like porn.
But to say "I like porn" is like saying, "I like music"
There are so many sub-genre that to automatically paint the entire porn world with one brush stroke is not fair.
yes, there is much that is soulless, much that is anti-erotic.
The women in commercial porn of the current moment are often so fake looking with their big hair, hideous tattoos, breast implants that make them look silly. I am not a fan of that kind of porn.
I find the misogynistic sub-genre of porn that seeks to degrade to be anti-erotic.
Myself I enjoy several pornographic sub-genre based on my mood.
Sometimes i like European girl/girl features.
Why?
Because I believe, truly believe that two beautiful women together, is a beautiful thing to see.
I have watched videos and only saw the parts where the two women are passionately kissing.
I never even get to the rest of the video sometimes.
Some of these women are clearly enjoying themselves, and some times their eyes show such passion that it astounds me.
That's why.
Sometimes I enjoy commercial porn of the 80's and 90's.
Why?
Because the women are pretty, usually natural, and show some enjoyment.
I know, they are acting, but it sure looks good to me.
It doesn't affect the sex life I have with my wife, anymore than listening to Jazz affects my ability to play the saxophone.
Its an entertainment. I use it for self pleasure, surely, I'm not going to lie to you. But I know its a fantasy and I take it as such.
Why do men like it? Easy. It turns us on, but ladies, remember, at the end of the day, for me anyway, it turns us(men) on, to turn you on even more.
Chill, porn has been around forever, and it will never go away.
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Speaking as someone who has worked in the porn industry....
Porn is written for men, not for women-- and specifically for men don't get laid much, and whothus have to seek their sexual outlets elsewhere. These are the guys who will buy the stuff by the cartload. This is where the easy money is.
Easy money. Hate to say it guys, but this is what most people who work in the porn industry want. Its that simple. They already know the top five male fantasies that are *guaranteed* to sell even if the production values stink, so it is difficult to sell them on anything else. Why work and use your imagination if a quart of fake spooge squirted on a woman's body will do the trick?
Its like giving a chocolate to my three year old daughter (yes, I am bribing her in the toilet training process-- she gets a piece of chocolate everytime she takes a poop in the toilet): I suppose I could give her the high-end 60% cocoa Neuhaus chocolate, but honestly the quality would be lost on her. She's very happy with Hersheys.
Pornmakers all know that there is a more sophisticated audience out there among women, and men who actually know their way around a woman's body. They are all well aware of the sex positive end of the feminist movement. They know perfectly well that they could, if they wanted, make porn that women actually enjoy.
They don't want to. There is simply no economic incentive. Making better porn would mean spending more money on production without getting higher sales. Why would they do that?
Let's be honest: how much money is that crowd really going to spend on porn? Not much. A high-quality coffee table book, a few copies of On Our Backs magazine maybe. That crowd is far too busy actually having sex to bother with more than a token amount of porn, and a token amount nis all they are interested in. Porn is not the main event.
The guys who buy the really crappy stuff that portrays sex acts that women frankly really don't enjoy, on the other hand, tend to be obsessed. It *is* the main event for them. These are the guys who actually show up at strip clubs to meet their favorite stars and buyt all their DVDs. These are the guys who subscribe to *multiple* online porn sites. These are the guys who will buy *every single issue* of Juggs magazine, and who have whol walk in closets devoted to their favorite fetish.
They will max their credits cards and tap into their 401Ks to finance their "hobby". I know men who spend *thousands* every year on this stuff. And when they have watched enough, they go to the srip clubs, thus supporting another side of the adult entertainment industry. (I am also a former stripper: the unlaid, socially retarded, porn-addicted customers are universally acknowledged as hands down the most profitable. They come in regularly and spend *hundreds* of dollars in an evening on their favorite girls. They pay for lap dances using cash advances. They leave only when their credit cards stop working. And yes, I learned quickly, as everyone does, that wearing a really nice expensive perfume for them was like giving a three old Neuhaus. They preferred the cheap trashy stuff. So next time you wonder why strippers always look so cheesy, that's the answer right there: its the market.)
The custimer base I am describing here is a nice, safe and very predictable market. THEY are the reason porn is a multi-million dollar industry. Porn makers are conservative-- they want nice, safe, and predicatable, and they want to put in the minimum investment of time and quality. They want the sure and easy thing.
I hope this clarifies some things.