Letters to the Editor
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They're having more oral sex because it's no longer 'bad' for a girl to do it
Bill Clinton, hummers, Girls Gone Wild - all have denastified the blow job, so that a 'good' girl can now give one, and get her whiny high-pressure no-responsibility boyfriend off her back about intercourse. It has nothing to do with parental notification laws. For Christ's sweet sake, how can anyone draw that conclusion having been a teenager themselves? Thoughts of long-term consequences do not rule in those moments - the only consequences a girl thinks about are: her reputation, her reputation, her reputation, getting caught, getting caught, getting caught...and then, distantly, pregnancy and STDs.
Abortion is not like any other surgery. It's voluntary and personal. As much as a parent feels he/she has a right to know everything that goes on with their kids, and as much as they'd like to control and be part of every experience, they can't and should not. if a daughter does not want to involve her parents in the decision to get an abortion, that is as much her right as not getting them involved in the decision to engage in sex.
Children are not the chattel of their parents. They may make stupid decisions with regard to sex - lack of experience, immaturity, and hormones almost guarantee this, which is why it is incumbent on parents to provide detailed, judgement free sex education.
I'm sure Ms. So would hate it that her daughter had sex and then got pregnant and then an abortion without involving her. Ms. So needs to realize - the daughter's experiences are not about her. All she can do is reiterate - and *demonstrate* - that she would be suppotive and not condeming of any of her daughters decisions.
I vividly remember being a teenager terrified of getting pregnant. It didn't stop me from having unprotected sex, though. And I would have never involved my parents had i had an abortion - they would have supported me, sure. I'm their daughter. But htey would have also condemned what I did, sat in judgement on me, and had their own emotional meltdown about it all. I would have excluded them just to prevent having to face their disappointment in me. But of course I'd be disappointed! parents think. Well, girls know this. They don't want to deal with YOUR feelings on the subject - the situation is already difficult enough.
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Oh, Adrienne, my dear....
Since you clearly lack the imagination or personal experience to extrapolate on the term "other repercussions", allow me to be of some assistance. "Other repercussions" could mean she'd get thrown out of her home. "Other repercussions" could mean that, though he doesn't lay a hand on her, her father calls her a whore and it changes the nature of their relationship forever. Or "other repercussions" might simply mean that, rather than allowing her to have an abortion and get on with her life, her parents force her to have and raise a child she's in no way prepared to care for.
Is any one of these scenarios so outlandish as to be beyond the scope of your understanding? Or is it simply that you just don't think any of that would be really so bad, compared to the horror that is modern medical abortion. And while we're on the subject, please let me remind you that tens of thousands of women in the country -- many of the quite successful and accomplished -- have, in fact, endured this procedure without being pushed to the brink of madness, in spite of what you might have seen on Lifetime TV.
Personally, I think I'm going to do everything I can to keep abortion safe, legal and accessible to any female in the state of childbearing years. So, thankfully, my vote will cancel yours out and we can pretend like this whole ugly little affair never happened.
~AS~
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I'm beginning to roll my eyes every time I see So's name on an article
... before I even read it. There are so many smart, informed, feminist bloggers out there, why is Salon still employing her?
First 'don't get your panties in a ruffle' over stripping at a scientific conference, then 'a little lipstick goes a long way' in prison, and today this boneheaded post.
Is Salon trying to get inflammatory, tabloid style? That's the only explanation that makes sense of So's continued employment at Broadsheet.
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Notification
So you acknowledge that "some" parents" "might" become abusive?
What number of abuse incidents would it take for this idea to become unacceptable to you? One? Ten? A thousand?
How about a "just" half dozen young women throttled to death by their alcoholic fathers? Would that mean anything to you..assuming the deaths weren't simply anecdotal?
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regrets
Ms. So writes: "For every story in which a woman moved on with a sigh of relief, there seems to be another story of lifelong guilt and regret."
Yeah. Just imagine the regret of the girl with abusive parents faced with an anti-choice judge, who might end up physically abused, kicked out of her home, and/or forced into a motherhood that ruins her chances of building the life she wanted for herself or for her children.
Regret is not something to base legislation on. To base laws that constrain women on the fact that women might someday regret some action they take is the embodiment of paternalism.
I would also like to agree with what someone said above: the law is not about protecting families from government interference. If there is no such law, there is no interference. On the contrary, the law would MANDATE government intrusion into families, no matter whether or not it is appropriate to do so.
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there is only one reason parental notification laws exist and that is to create a deterrent to teen sex
the theory is that if a teenager doesn't have the option of abortion as a backup to contraception failure without destroying her relationship with her parents she will be deterred from having sex.
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Parental notification not required for other medical procedures
Minor children can receive treatment for sexually transmitted diseases without parental notification. Pregnant minor girls can receive prenatal care and even medical attention during childbirth without parental notification. Why should we treat a minor girl trying to terminate her pregnancy different from one trying to bring it to term?
Ask the parents of Becky Bell how well they think the Indiana parental notification laws preserved their family unit. You can't ask Becky, she died from a back alley abortion.