Letters to the Editor
-
flaw in So's argument
I think So rushed to get this one out the door. She says that she doesn't think that government should interfere with how families run themselves.
But, isn't passing a law requiring parental notification increasing government interference? After all, the government is not currently trying to stop teenagers from telling their parents if they are planning to have an abortion.
One would hope that in most families, teens would be able to turn to their parents on an issue like this, but I think teenagers are old enough to make that decision for themselves.
This proposition is a solution in search of a problem. I don't have any fact and figures, but I strongly suspect that the number of teens who have abortions without involving their parents is fairly low. Plus, any place that a teenager goes to have an abortion would almost certainly provide counseling, and contrary to popular belief, I highly doubt that Planned Parenthood is going to try to push a teenager to have an abortion is she is having doubts about it.
It's hard to imagine who this proposition would benefit, especially given that there is a process for teens to get court permission to bypass the notification.
Rather than trying to make the government do their work for them, I suggest that any parent who is concerned about this issue sit down with their child and discuss it in advance and reassure them that if they got pregnant, they would stand by their side and help them make the decision that is best for them.
-
Thank God Other Californians Were Smarter Than You, So
See everyone's arguments in the letters section.
-
Notification Laws
Well I read the actual text of the notification law late last night while watching the election results (yay!). I'm not lawyer, but as far as notification laws go, Prop 85 was halfway decent. Parental consent was not included, only one parent was required to be notified, notification could be waived by the parent if the parent was there with their child, there were court by-passes available, the notification was waived if it was a medical emergency, emanicipated teens were exempted, and the notification didn't seem to cover the morning after pill. There was a coercion clause included but it only covered instances where the teen was being coerced into having an abortion and where they might be coerced into the pregnancy. I still wouldn't have voted for it, but we've seen a lot worse get passed.
-
To Ondelette
I just wanted to say that I really appreciated your letter. It's great to know that there are people like you out there. People who can say, "This hurt me and deeply, but my grief does not outweigh another's autonomy."
Thank you.
-
You are no feminist
Let me definitively inform you that you are neither a feminist nor pro-choice. Anyone who supports parental notification laws adheres to the idea that women and children are nothing more than the property of men.
You say you see no good reason to make an exception for parental notification in the case of minors who become pregnant? Perhaps this is because you don’t come from an abusive or incestuous family? Is it inconceivable to you that some little girls are impregnated by their own fathers? What makes you think that a man capable of raping his own daughter would want the best for her future? Maybe he just wants a steady stream of helpless victims?
Yes, there are situations in which a court can permit a minor to have an abortion without parental notification. But imagine reality beyond your safe little bubble for a moment. Ask yourself how easy is it would be for a pregnant 12-year-old with no money or transportation to negotiate legal intervention? The idea that parents “have known and cared for their teenager for far longer” is a dangerous and naive assumption. Is it your opinion that all mothers and fathers love and care for their children? Sorry, but this is proven false on a daily basis in emergency rooms everywhere.
You think we need to vigilantly protect pregnant girls from facing a lifetime of regret over an abortion? This is nothing compared to the lifetime of economic and emotional hell that is most often the result of a child’s pregnancy.
-
The 10%
So, according to others here, 90% of girls talk about an unplanned pregnacy with their parents.
So, presumably 10% can not/do not.
I can assure you that if my younger sister, still in her teens, became pregnant unexpectadly, she would come to me for advice before she EVER considered talking to our parents. Considering I'm in my mid-twenties, one would think that our discussion regarding the situation could just as beneficial - or FAR MORE beneficial that talking to our mother. We'd talk about her options: abortion, keeping the baby, adoption; then we'd talk about the consquences of each.
Even if my little sister did make a decision regarding an unplanned pregnancy on her own, I know she's concious enough of the future to think as carefully about her actions as she could before coming to any decisions.
...plus if she's smart enough to make the decision to be a parent on her own, and in doing so, becoming an adult in the eyes of the law, she's smart enough to choose for her body.
Anyone who really cares about women and their right to choose cares about women of all ages. Women with little support, understanding or experience -- teenagers -- need the right to choose as much as anyone else.
Congrats to CA for voting No on this terrible proposition.
-
Why I Wouldn't if I Could
I was raised by pro-choice feminists, long before either of those terms was coined. In fact, before my older brother was born, they wrote their wills leaving EVERYTHING to Planned Parenthood, and have been pro-choice, pro-sex education, anti-war, civil rights activists going back to the 1940s. They are also retired academics and psychoanalyzed atheists. (You get the picture.) I have had loving and warm relationships with them for my entire 47 years. Yet, as a 16-year-old college freshman, faced with a positive pregnancy test, I was unable to ask for their help in getting an abortion. In New York. Post Roe. (The positive test turned out to be false and I never really had to address the issue more concretely than that.)
As a straight-A superachiever, I was too ashamed to tell them about this big blunder of mine. I turned to my brother, who helped me figure out how to deal with the logistics. Years later, when I told them about it, they were both very sad that I had been so ashamed. My father even told me that when he was divorced and a graduate student in Chicago in the 50s, he helped someone get an abortion. He didn't tell me much more than that, but I understood that he was saying gently that these things happen.
If someone like me couldn't talk to her parents about having an abortion, I shudder to think about those poor girls who have religious, uneducated, low-income parents with no health insurance trying to discuss the subject with their parents.