Letters to the Editor
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Yeah, but how much life do they have left?
How much is this 62-year-old mother going to rock when she's the 79 year old mother of a 17-year-old?
Don't you owe it to your future children to at least give them the chance to have their parents around long enough to finish raising them?
I think man or woman, it's not a good idea to have babies after, say 50.
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Why create kids when you're going to leave them so soon?
I don't think it's surprising that older mothers are at least as good at parenting as younger ones. However, I think for a couple who are both in their fifties or sixties to have a kid is still an extremely bad idea. What are the odds that that kid is going to get to an age of financial and emotional independence before both parents die or have major health problems? Sure, there's also a chance that a child of younger parents might be orphaned, but why intentionally make that chance a _likelihood_?
If women in their 50s want to have children, they should do it the same way that guys in their 80s do--by marrying someone much younger.
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Another factor not mentioned
Could it be that the reason these "older mothers" of young children don't feel so stressed is that, in England, they probably come from a class that can afford (a) fertility treatments; (b) nursemaids for the children when they become too stress-inducing?
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Apples and oranges
"...men may father a child into their late 80s, but it's wrong for women to want to extend their fertility after 45. That's ageist and sexist."
Considering the two completely different roles each would take (one has an orgasm, the other carries and develops a human being for nine months), not really. "Fathering a child" in this context takes a split second. Carrying a child is a much more difficult and demanding undertaking, in every possible way.
Even as a 43-year-old feminist, I'm afraid I agree that it is selfish and irresponsible to have a baby at 62 and almost guarantee that your child will at worst have a dead parent before the age of 18, at best a very old senior citizen. Of course no child is ever guaranteed a mom for life, but yours will have practically no shot. And you're pretty unlikely to live to see your grandkids.
There comes a time when you have to stop thinking about "your" rights and doing things just to make a point; to prove you have both the right and the ability to do something... and start thinking about if it's wise, or fair to the people who will be the most directly affected by your actions.
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What's good for the goose, is good for the gander and vice versa
While I think new reproductive technolgies can be very empowering for women, who are i believe heartily sick and tired of the much repeated mantras from men about how shriveled and dried up and undesirable they are after 40 or so -- because we can't pump out babies like our younger sisters any longer -- I have to admit to being troubled by stories of women age 62 and even 67 giving birth to babies.
In fairness, i think it is just as bad for a man of 60-something to start having babies, usually with his young bimbo trophy wife, and i do think such individuals get a "pass" from society and the media when they do this. In fact, we think it's kinda romantic and cute when we hear that Donald Trump has married yet another young wife and produced an infant at an age when he is justifiably more in line to be a grandfather.
When you cut to the chase, and talk to the children of older parents, you get more of the picture -- it's not fun to have a geriatric parent, who can't run and play with you, and who is likely to be challenged by multiple health problems. Such kids often worry a lot about their aging parents (and prior to egg donation, this would have very rarely been a mom more than 45 years old at the birth), and fear being orphaned at a young age. As a middle aged adult who has had to face the inevitable aging and decline of my own parents, i would NEVER wish this on a teen or 20 something.
The truth is that when someone -- male or female -- well over 50 decides to have an infant, i think they are being selfish and in denial. I also think they are grasping in a way at the facade of youthfulness -- for what is as emphatically youthful and hopeful as starting a family or giving birth? -- and failing to accept the normal pattern of aging, and even the normal human lifespan. This is particularly evident when a celeb or actress in her late 40s, with no previous offspring, is suddenly pregnant with twins. Hello people, this doesn't happen naturally! The celeb/actress is always very close-mouthed about how this 'miracle" occurred, thus preserving the mystique that she is still ripe and youthful and a "player". (Ditto of course for the guys, some of whom are impegnating the young trophy bride with purchased sperm.)
The real fear in our culture seems to be admitting that the train has left the station, that we are menopausal, or almost menopausal, and that while we have a lot of living left to do, we are clearly no longer young. Mother Nature has a lot of common sense when she reserves childbearing for the young (or at least youngish), and sometimes we need to listen to this basic common sense.
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Advanced age parents aren't all they're cracked up to be
My own mother grew up with her grandparents, because her parents died in an accident when she was four. Although this was many years ago (my mother went to live with her grandparents in 1938, and graduated from high school in 1952), growing up with grandparents in the wrong generation colored her whole life. My mom has ALWAYS been old-fashioned, because she was so influenced by her grandmother. Her grandmother was in her 20's and forming her opinions about the world at the turn of the century. The last century. As in 1900.
My mother's grandfather, the only father figure she ever knew, died when she was 14. Then her grandmother died when she was 18 (Grandmother was 68). So at 18, my mother was completely alone. She had cousins and aunts, but nowhere to call home other than an apartment shared with a roommate. Like a foster child cast out of the system and expected to be independent at 18, she lived and supported herself but needed a family. She never went to college, because there was no money and no support. She went to work. She might have done well in college, but never had the chance.
As a parent in the 70's, my mom did her best, but was generally out of step with my friends' parents in terms of attitudes, styles, opinions, and so on. It wasn't until years later that I really figured out why. All the way back to 1938 and her upbringing with her grandmother.
Another issue to consider is health. There are a number of conditions that we are only just learning about that seem to come as a result of old genetic material. Children of older fathers have a significantly higher incidence of schitzophrenia. Children of older mothers are more likely to be born with Down Syndrome and other related disorders. There is so much we do not understand about mental disorders. It seems like spinning the wheel and hoping for the best with old sperm and old eggs is really playing with fire, especially when the child is likely to be on his or her own in the world much sooner than most adults are.