I'm twenty-three years old, and am in a long term relationship with a man I plan to marry. And I want a tubal ligation. I've never had any sort of maternal instinct. I don't want kids, ever, and it's something I've always known, deep down inside. It comes from a myriad of reasons that are valid enough for me, and that I don't feel the need to justify to anyone else. It's something I've discussed at length with my boyfriend, and he understands and accepts my decision. (And, God forbid we should break up, kids are a dealbreaker for me in a relationship -- I couldn't seriously date a man who wanted them.)

I want to be sterilized for the reasons discussed in this post: it eliminates the hassle of daily birth control (be it pills or condoms), it has a much lower rate of failure than those daily methods, and in the long run it might save money. But I know that if I were to walk into a doctor's office and ask for a tubal, I'd be turned down. I know that I'll continue to be turned down for probably the next decade. Doctors will feel that I'm too young, that I'll change my mind. (Of course, I've already felt the same way for around two decades now, so of course I'm going to change my mind in a year or so! Please.) And so for now, as I said to a friend, I'm "going to cling to my pill-pack until they pry it from my cold, dead hands."

I'm not a kid - I'm 42. But I'm glad I took the time to come to this decision, and gave myself the option when I was younger. I still don't have a tubal. Instead I opted for an IUD, which provides me with 5 years of no-worry contraception. By the time I have to have it removed, I will probably be menopausal.

I've thought about getting a tubal ligation, but I don't see any real importance to it. There are so many other birth control options. I do think that women under 30 should NOT be getting this procedure. Life doesn't always end up being what you think it will be. People change, even if they think they never will. I never wanted children, but then I never wanted to get married, either, and I now find myself happily married. It's hard being childless in a world that defines a "family" as a "group with children". It's hard, sometimes, knowing that I won't ever experience the joy I see my childbearing friends experiencing. Deciding not to have children is not something that should be taken lightly, any more than deciding to have children.

It depends on where you live. I was able to find a willing doctor when I was in my mid twenties(nine years ago, after being turned down by a doctor in another part of the state where I live). You just have to shop around, so to speak.

I agree that you just have to shop around. I had a sterilization performed last year at age 23 (Essure, not a tubal. If you're at all uncomfortable with the thought of surgery, look into this procedure--it doesn't require incisions or general anesthesia). I got very lucky: I didn't have an OBGYN, and so randomly selected one from the nearest major hospital. She didn't give me any attitude at all. I had to speak with the office shrink--standard procedure for women under 30, I was told, but it was a breeze. Neither of them second-guessed me. They just wanted to make sure I was informed. There ARE doctors out there who will do it with little hassle, even on young childfree women. You just have to be persistent enough to find one. It's important to be informed about the procedure and about your reasons for wanting it before going to see the surgeon. My doctor told me several times that she was very impressed by the research I had done before seeing her, and by how well I articulated my reasons for wanting to end my fertility. Write them down in a letter or a list if that helps you. Doctors like dealing with patients who can advocate well for themselves.

For the record, before I had my consult with the OBGYN, I went to Planned Parenthood to see if they knew of any doctors who wouldn't give me attitude. Imagine my shock when the nurse at Planned Parenthood was the one who gave me attitude! She was extremely rude to me and basically treated me like I was a naive idiot who didn't know my own mind or understand that other forms of birth control existed, never mind that at some point or another I'd used about half of them (including the morning-after pill) and found them all lacking. I still can't believe that of all the people who were involved in my having this procedure done--the OBGYN, the insurance people, the anesthesiologists, the nurses at the hospital, my friends--the one who was obnoxious to me was from Planned Parenthood, that organization that supposedly exists to help women in reproductive need no matter their backgrounds or circumstances. The irony was not lost on me.

I can't agree more with Broadsheet that this is a decision that women, not medical professionals, need to make. I can't say with 100% certainty that I'll never feel regret, but I'm in a better position to make that call than anyone else, since it is my body, my mind, and my life. Nothing is guaranteed in life. Even if a person has children they may end up regretting it, but I don't see doctors (or anyone else) urging people not to have kids until they reach age 25 or 30 or 35, or until they've thought about it for X number of years. Why am I, at age 24 now, old enough to decide to have a child but not old enough to decide that I never want to have a child? Both decisions are permanent. Actually though, my decision is a little less permanent, since I can adopt if I change my mind. It's also nice to see some positive coverage of sterilized women without children. Most of the time we're just characterized as freaks.