The huge difference between the guy whos a "40 year old virgin" and the woman whos a virgin into her 30s is choice. The guy is a virgin becuase he truly does not have access to sex, except for possible paying for it. The woman is a virgin simply by choice, whether it is religious, or it is representitive of some psychological issue she has, she could easily have had sex along the way, but opted not too.

Getting laid is the easiest thing in the world for a woman-- go to a bar, have a few drinks to lower your inhibitions, go home with one of the guys who hits on you and have sex. He might not be your knight in shining armor, but even the ugliest woman can get casual sex if she's willing to lower her standards and wait for last call...

i'm sure she'd appreciate losing her virginity to guys with your attitudes?

Jane really changed when it was bought by a media conglomerate. Before, it was defectors from Sassy (no, not SEventeen Salon, Do a little research, please!) who put together a hip irreverant modern magazine for women without all the makeup fantasies, but with style. Articles about dating didn't assume you were hetero and the blind date section introduced hetero and lesbian couples.

Then some conglomerate bought them and their unique qualities faded away, along with their readership. Before, They stood alone as a modern thinking young woman's magazien, but afterwards, are not able to complete in the existing market.

They need PR to try to raise readership again.

I can see why you are so despised, LeCastor. A woman uses a very public forum to weirdly help her get laid yet you bitch at the, presumably, male posts here. If you haven't gotten the word that many woman can sleep with whomever they want but men sleep with whomever will let them then you must erally be as unattracrive as your critics claim.

Thanks to Richard Lewis for the line about men and women sleeping with...

If she's going to get so much publicity for the stunt I think it's only fair the veracity of her claim is proven beyond a shadow of a doubt (or in this case, beyond a bloodstain on a bedsheet).

Oh yes, I totally know that the still-missed, earliest, "good" Sassy was, way back, a Jane progenitor. I just meant that in general, girls stop reading Seventeen when they're <17 years old and defect to magazines for older girls/women. But thanks for the opp for props to >sniff!< the late, lamented, *great* Sassy.

Picking up some guy drunk in a bar isn't really the way I would have wanted to first experience the sweet magic of doin' it, but neither is a PR stunt in Jane magazine. This sounds suspiciously like all those internet campaigns to see someone lose their virginity if they get enough hits to their sites, which inevitably turn out to be scams.

Oh, and the defecting from Seventeen magazine to Jane was in reference to the readers of the magazine, not editors. I agree that the general target for these "women's magazines" seems to be teenage girls trying to figure out how to be women. The sex tips are dull (Nibble on his ear? Why didn't I think of that?) and there is no humor at all beyond the occassional lame pun. Blech. Bring me Bust any day.

. . . has a listing on IMDb, isn't it?

I assume Jane doesn't explain why the woman is a virgin? Was she a nun? Was she otherwise religious in a way that demands waiting for marriage, but lost her faith? Was she in a coma from ages 15–29? Did she used to be in some way hideous looking and only now has taken off her glasses and let down her ponytail?

Will anyone (can anyone) give her advice on how to broach the topic of her virginity in a way so as not to either freak out normal guys or attract creepy ones?

This is such a trainwreck. And I'm a little weirded out that I can't un-know about this, since I've seen/heard it mentioned in a few places within the last couple of days.

Guess it all ties back to that IMDb listing . . .

Both men and women can have sex whenever if they don't care who it's with.

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only a woman would claim this. If you walked in a mans shoes for even a day, you would see how incorrect that statment truly was. Its no where near equal.

This is absolutely not a fact for men. The refusal to accept that it isn't is an infuriating example of the blind insistence that either women's experiences or women's ideologies constitute a universal, absolute and total truth. Don't look for male resentment to disappear as long as most women insist on keeping this up. Maybe with enough dominance in money and social/political influence it will be possible to create a situation where men are powerless to do anything about it though, which, hey is really all that matters anyway.

Gee, a new low in tastelessness -- will wonders never cease.

For the record: this is the kind of thing that is really supposed to be private, whether it happens at 16 or 30. If it's not a publicity stunt (and it sure smells like one), then I really pity this young woman. I can't imagine anything much more humiliating than first having to admit to a social failure on this grand a scale, THEN having to go through a lot of clumsy first dates and perhaps ultimately to have to publically describe an intimate experience that has a high probability of being awkward and uncomfortable. And since this all has to occur by November 7 (her 30th birthday), we can be pretty certain this "public deflowering" will happen with a near-stranger. Sad, sad, sad.

BTW: older virgins are not as unusual as the film "40 Year Old Virgin" would imply. It happens, and not necessarily to people who are hideously ugly. (And despite the usual display of misogynist posters, it hasn't got much to do with whether you are a man or a woman.) I think it starts with a certain amount of social awkwardness, and gets complicated with certain life situations (the Jane subject, Sarah, went to all-girls high school and college, and now lives in an all-women residence hotel). Failure has a tendency to build on failure -- I suspect that a older virgin has the instinct to run from intimacy because admiting their situation is just so potentially embarrassing. Just the fact that a hugely successful comic film could be made about this subject is a sign that we think that virginity -- which only a generation ago was a deeply moral, highly glorified and dignified state of being, and had been so for millennia -- is now the ultimate indicator of failure, and lack of physical attractiveness.

I guess if I knew Sarah I would tell her to bug out, no matter what Jane is paying you it isn't enough! and handle this aspect of your life in privacy.

Just a word for the usual suspects (i.e., nutbar misogynists): what universe are you inhabiting where "any woman -- regardless of age, physical attractiveness or weight -- can just go to a bar and pick up any man and have sex"? Are you brain dead? Besides the risk of STDs, women have a very real risk of physical violence from strangers. Furthermore, as a woman I can tell you for a FACT that women suffer every bit as much rejection in life as men do (and for more reasons). It's interesting that both sexes have this feeling that the opposite sex "holds all the cards" in terms of sexual choice: I know that many women would say the exact same thing about men, that "any man" could have sex if he wanted, but that women need to wait around to be asked.

You also might want to consider that since the dawn of time, men have had the option of prostitutes (straight and gay) for casual sex, but women do not.