. . . now I'm not so sure. Many teens seem to be listening to music constantly. If their music is all gangsta rap or similar -- which as I understand it is largely about treating women as objects and breaking laws -- and take notice that unlike other forms of music, it's almost impossible not to hear all the lyrics clearly in rap music.

"The pen is mightier than the sword" conveys the truth that words can have a powerful influence. So what is the basis for declaring with such confidence, as does R. Traister:

And of course there is such a silly history of blaming the music for our ills.

?

In one broadsheet piece today I read that fretting over music with sexually degrading lyrics is just a bit too Tipper Gore, too Parent Advisory for the cool cats at Salon. A study on the topic does not "suggest" or "draw" conclusions -- in Salon lingo it "purports" to show conclusions about the effects of listening to such music. You need only read 3 words into the piece to see how farfetched Salon thinks the study is.

In another I read that Salon wants to draw the line at MTVs airing of sexually degrading images. Is it because the women are black that Salon feels a line has been crossed? Is it just the varying personal tastes of the authors that makes the difference -- and if so, in what way is that useful social commentary for the rest of us?

When I was growing up I listened almost exclusively to classical music. And I became sexually active at the age of twelve. What more proof do you need?. I especially enjoyed compositions that included a variety of dominant and submissive motifs leading to climactic finales, like Stravinsky's Firebird and Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture. In fact, I'm convinced it was the Tchaikovsky that made me gay.

So did anyone think to interview deaf teenagers and find out when they became sexually active? If the average age is older than kids who can hear, well then, there's your proof right there. It would have to be the music, right?

You offer only two ways to answer:

"...if we have music that's sexually degrading to women, is it fair or practical to blame the music makers and distributors? Or would our time be better spent raising children who are socially sophisticated enough to approach consumer culture as critical thinkers?"

IMO, nothing as complex as media can be easily deconstructed by hypervigilant, critically-thinking educated adults, much less children and adolescents. Marshall McLuhan got a start with "The Medium is the Message" but a book that had more impact on me was "Four Arguments for the Elimination of Television." I suggest that parents experiment and literally save themselves and their children by REMOVING TVs, not engaging in endless bargaining about "how much". God knows kids should never have one in their bedrooms. But literally living WITHOUT ONE IN THE HOUSE is not only possible, it's damn liberating. (News is also on NPR and newspapers and crossword puzzles help kids read.) Okay, I'm prepared for reasons-why-we-couldn't-possibly-do-that. Heard them all. TVs are OBJECTS. You are not throwing away grandma, but a BOX that carries the dreckiest of the cultural dresk straight into your kids' psyches. And your own. (Do I have one? Yup. But I take 2-year breaks.)

Back to music...(with TV, music is triple-impact--the sound, the visual, and the commercials). "Fair" is not anything anybody's listening to, if musicians and distributors are making money. Refusal to purchase mysogynistic music is a fine choice, and I'm with Tipper on labels. It's old-fashioned, but I feel ferociously protective of kids because the gyro of this culture has tilted way past common sense and well past depravity (not just sexual, twits, endless violence is moral depravity). It's beyond depressing to think of the millions of 3 and 4 year olds quietly watching TV unsupervised while a weary Boomer makes dinner. "Blame" is not a word I like much because it only makes people defensive (iow, deaf), but most parents have lost any potent sense of protectiveness and authority. I remember phrases like, "This is our

house, as long as you live here you will obey your parents' rules and respect our values." (My eyes rolled so fast they nearly fell out.)

But I have a (very smart) adult child now, who in the name of thinking for herself walked through the dark side of the culture, and is left with deep and disabling, scars in her psyche. Even if I could start parenting all over again, and try even harder, I am no longer confident that in the time left over in an average kid's day (much less a working parent's) I could, without a cultural shift that supported me, adequately teach her in anti-sexist, nonviolent philosophy and self-worth. Much less "make a village" with my smart suburbanite neighbors who are mostly tooling around from activity to activity in their SUVS. I could have them over, I suppose: You're Invited! Open House to Share Our Thinking on the Impact on Our Children of Violent and Sexist Lyric and Imagery in Music.

I'd vote that nobody waste any energy blaming anyone, that everyone keep teaching their kids as best they can to think and to develop conscience and ethical awareness, and that meanwhile parents breathe deeply, suck up the unpopularity and put some big feet down FIRMLY about what kind of music is welcome in the sacred space of home. When our kids are out they'll get plenty, but taking some stand at home is better than helplessly flapping our hands and saying, well, Sweetie, would you tell me what the lyrics mean to YOU? (They don't know what they mean to them any more than we knew why our pelvises glowed and we rocked out to "Brown Sugar" or "Sympathy for the Devil".)

I don't believe in the Devil. But when I look at our kids and our culture, I think S/He's had enough sympathy. I get it. I was a wild free-lovin' hippie. But that was such a far cry from the ugliness and cruelty they're sucking up by osmosis with their music/TV/video games now. I believe they are in graver danger from moral (again, I'm not talking about sex...sigghhh) devolution than they are from global warming and terrorism.

To quote John Prine, (I'm not Christian but it's the larger point):

Blow up your TV,

Throw away your paper,

Move out to the country,

build yourself a home.

Have a lot of children,

feed 'em all peaches,

try to find Jesus

on your own.