Letters to the Editor
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To: Psycprof
#1, I doubt you are a professor of anything. That being said you are decidedly unattractive and would not merit a look or a sideways glance from me or anyone else who is successful. I love academia, but it attracts fugly women. Not the kind of women that successful men will date, sleep with (even when desperate @ last call), give any time to or marry. These are facts. The actual trolls are the "women" (I use that term loosely) hovering around her slapping each other on the back at their perceived witicisms (which really aren't funny except in an Ellen Degeneres daytime lackey TV sort of way that appeals to fat women), acting like there are men who are their friends (when they are not. Since they are friends to either wait for your guard to drop and fuck you or they are gay!) when men don't need or want women as friends. Ladies, you aren't that desirable. You aren't that intelligent. You are mostly comprised of cat ladies or cat ladies in training. Enjoy hell. PS: who the fuck wants to date a librarian. I rather stick a pencil in my eye. They just aren't attractive, ever. Attractive women have more options than shelving books. The men you marry, if you are married, are pussies and it is highly likely that you are using sex, money or children as a weapon (even pathetic men want to get laid once in a while from a fugly woman) and they fear divorce from you as you will flay the skin from their bones financially and they won't see their kids again. These are facts. Men: Don't marry. It is a waste of time. Find a hot woman.
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I know: I'll go look for this in a bar! Maybe on the Internet!
I want a lifelong partner who respects me, who shares my values, who understands the gravity and long-term committment to a relationship, let alone parenthood, who will truly be there--as will I--in sickness and in health, 'til death do us part. I want a love that lasts through all of life's trials and tribulations--career changes, the passing of our parents, the inevitable world events that cause us all to question our beliefs. I want love. Unconditional love.
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"meeting" someone must not be enough
(I hear a faint sound of a yapping Chihuahua in the distance. Yawn)
I don't know what gives about women and musicians either but a lot of males in my family play music in public and it does attract women. Anyone know if female musicians attract males in the same manner?
It seems that men and women can meet each other all day long, but the elusive thing is finding someone with that "spark". I've had unattached male and female friends who have met other singles that are fine people but the spark just wasn't there. I suppose if you hung out long enough it could grow on you. My husband and I hung out with a group of friends before we paired off, but the spark was there from the start. So I guess that adds a whole new dimension to the problem of meeting someone.
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A couple observations
For all the complaints about how American women don't need to support the family and just live off their spouses, I find it odd that the complainers don't see the social pressure to on men and women to marry so that the man makes more money and has a higher status job, or at very least the incomes and status are the same.
My husband and I work in similar fields. Back when we were renting apartments and then applying for mortgages, I had just had a raise and made about 20% more than him (He later leapfrogged my salary, then I took a cut to work part-time while finishing on a masters'. I'll probably leap-frog his income again when I finish, repeat every few years until we retire) Every time we filled in forms with our incomes, we would hear a comment about me making more money, and we didn't even have a huge disparity in incomes. It hurts a lot of guys' pride, I'm sure.
Back when I was dating, the fact I distinctly never wanted to be a stay-at-home mother was a turn-off for a lot of men. (I always say that what a couple co-workers did, each working three long weekdays so the kids spent one day in care or with a relative and each parent had time alone with them was great.)
Men and women criticize men who make less than their wives (or any amount other than "a lot") and women who devote themselves to a job, especially women with children.
It doesn't bother me that much that some men look for brides abroad, but I don't think it's evidence that north american women are defective. The numbers just aren't high enough, and it's not that much different than looking for a bride/husband on a dating site.
I do think there's something wrong with the script that tells men and women that they have to be equal, but they have to play these gender roles at the same time. Add in the facts that most of us are lazy and would rather not work at jobs we hate, that child care costs are huge and immediately apparent, and time out of the work force often costs a lot more than the income for the time you are out, and you have a set up that makes it hard to find a satisfying way for men and women to relate.
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female musicians attract dykes
I went to see Joan Jett recently. Married with children Joan Jett. Not a lipstick lesbian in sight, but some fugly bulls, lemme tell ya. WTF? But it's the same dynamic as girls attracted to faux rock stars. The fantasy.
We want to date the unattainable then have that person magically transform into domestic bliss.
One rarely equals the other.
And, as usual, theonion.com beat Salon to the punch years ago with an article detailing how a woman hooked her wild 'n' free spirited musician, set about deballing him into Mr. Domesticity...then dropped him to date his band's bass player because her old flame "just wasn't that fun to hang out with anymore."
Go figger.