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We all train one another all the time. Ever notice that with some couples, only one seems to answer the phone at home? The one who stays seated each time it rings has 'trained' the other person to get it. Ever notice that some men put dishes away in places unrelated to their 'assigned' spots, 'til the wives, exasperated, say 'oh forget it, I'll do it myself'. More training.
I have a tendency to yell when I am mad. When I do, my partner stops responding to me. It has made me much, much more conscious of yelling, and I make a concerted effort not to - if I don't, we'll never get to discuss the issue. He is training me. That's fine with me. And I've stopped yelling at him for being late all the time - I just leave and go do something else if he's more than 30 minutes late. Guess what - he's not late anymore.
The writer of the Times article never implied her husband is unintelligent, thus causing her to resort to 'tricks' to get him to 'behave'. She is manipulating her own behavior as much as his, in an effort to get a result both of them are happy with. This is a good thing.
We don't think of behavioral conditioning techniques as unfair and manipulative and demeaning when they are practiced on intelligent animals like dogs and dolphins and monkeys. They are simply learning techniques that work, something no individual or relationship can have too much of.
