Ye gods. I can't understand what kind of old biddy would attempt to seize money from a war widow with children. Can someone explain this to me? So much for "women's culture."

You want to know what kinds of greed and manipulation mother-in-laws are capable of, you should check out www.motherinlawstories.com.

if my spouse is going off to war I'm going to make damn sure the paperwork is in order before they leave. That's just stupidity if it ain't.

I have a really hard time feeling sorry for war widows and widowers who "have to pull their children out of private schools" or "move in with relatives" to save money. Part of marrying a military spouse is the risk that they will probably die on the job.

Besides, war widow/ers are not the only people who lose spouses. Many people lose a spouse well before retirement, and all of those people have to jump through hoops dealing with the death and its financial effects.

However, there does seem to be a need for better education and advocacy, and the need seems to be there long before a death occurs. It might be time for the military to turn advocacy over to a non-profit organization that could make sure military personnel and their family members know all of the ins & outs long before someone dies. As in civilian life, death is far less traumatic if people plan for it ahead of time - advocacy needs to begin when a person enters the military, not when they die and leave underinformed family members to handle the fallout.

Geez, where do you get your statistics? Last I checked, military fatality rates were not up to 50 percent.

Seriously, I do have some sympathy for the widows of military personnel. Yeah, they knew that their spouse had a dangerous job, which is why the government offers those benefits in case of death. Making the widows fight to get what they were promised seems kind of cruel--and bad recruiting. If you want guys to volunteer for a job that may put them in combat, making sure that their wife and kids are taken care of when they die seems pretty important. And their husbands didn't just die--they died serving their country. You'd think that country would at least treat their survivors with respect and fairness.

Wow, such big brave words. You must be so proud to express yourself so freely. It is difficult to tug at heart strings when they are not attached to a heart. You have no idea of the pain and grief of losing your spouse, whether they are civilian or Active Duty Military. My spouse was both. When he was killed in the war, I had to deal with both sides of his life, our life.

Your statement, "I have a really hard time feeling sorry for war widows and widowers who "have to pull their children out of private schools" or "move in with relatives" to save money. Part of marrying a military spouse is the risk that they will probably die on the job." is a testament to your own ignorance and heartlessness.

Not many widows are able to speak without tears, much less speak out. They are not speaking out against the military, only bringing to light some things that need to be fixed. Many spouses have been out of the workforce for years putting their own personal goals on hold to support their spouses career and following them around from base to base, other countries and being a single parent worrying about their soldier while they are deployed for extended periods of time. How do you put that on a resume? Not to mention the fact that you are not only dealing with your own grief that does not go away in 6 months a year or any set time frame, many widows and widowers are also dealing with young children who have lost a parent. So many of these young children not really understanding what has happened, experiencing severe depression, acting out, or can not come to terms with the fact that Daddy or Mommy is not coming home this time. I have heard countless times from other widows how their children are scared to death Mommy will not come home if she has to take a trip somewhere. This is not something you just get over; there is no closure. But, you would not understand that because you have obviously not ever thought beyond yourself and your own needs.

Are you going to come to my house in the middle of the night to help soothe my crying child screaming for their Daddy? And then get up a couple of hours later to go to work? Are you going to wipe my tears every night and hold me because my grief is so deep I could not even fathom attempting to describe it in words? I didn't think so.

Nobody goes into a job or career, Civilian or Military, with the notion they are going to die. That is just insanely ludicrous. They go in with a sense of Duty, Honor and Pride in serving this great Country. Values you so obviously do not possess.

And for those of you who think that it is as simple as getting your paperwork together before deployment; you are wrong. We had all of that. It is not an easy thing to plan for the "What if", especially before your spouse is about to be sent off to a place where people make it their mission to see them dead on a daily basis. It is gut wrenching and tearful and something we knew we had to do, and yet I experienced many of the same problems as in the article. You can never be fully prepared for this, never. You can not understand how this tares some families apart.

Next time you look at the American flag, post a message freely, vote in the next election, or voice your opinion without fear of having someone come and take you away; you remember all of those men and women who died and the families they left behind in order for your to have those freedoms.

Freedom is not free. We have paid the price for yours.