You're boyfriend sounds dreamy!

Do what you want, whatever you like (as long as you don't nonconsentually hurt someone). However, I have to say, it's incredibly sad to me that when most young women or young men talk about oral sex, they mean only giving head to a guy. Whatever happened to a woman getting off? Why don't we talk about guys giving women oral sex for popularity?

I get that pleasuring your partner is a great pleasure, but I don't know any woman who has an orgasm while giving head. And there is no word of returning the favor. As soon as he gets off, that's called "sex," leaving the woman's orgasm completely out of the definition of "over."

I'm reminded of Margaret Cho's act, in that concert where she said something like "for most straight men, you know it's over as soon as he gets off...I want to have an orgasm, no, I want to put a board over the bed and put 1 | 1. I mean I want to have an orgasm, if he is having one, I want one."

It's so sad, sad, sad, that women will, as written here, kiss other women, give head, etc, etc, while giving up exploring their own pleasure and orgasms. As Samantha said on Sex in the City, "they don't call it a job for nothin'!"

"Lesbians

The reason this issue touches a nerve is because it reveals an awkward truth about some of the most radical feminists out there--they're gay. They are not interested in having sex with men, and would prefer that no one else did either.

Realizing this simple truth explains a lot."

I am a lesbian. I'm not interested in giving blow jobs because I'm not attracted to men. I have no problem with other people doing it. It seems pretty natural. When I have sex 99% of the time it is oral. I certainly wouldn't begrudge straight people male or female the pleasure that comes with receiving oral sex and the pleasure that comes from pleasing your partner. Don't blame lesbians. We don't really care what you do with your dicks or what people do to them. It's not our issue.

The more I read Salon the less convinced I am that I actually am the feminist I thought I was. It’s sort of a sad realization I’ve been having lately. I’m not about to flip over to Fox News or anything but these militant attitudes I’m hearing are a major turn off and I feel like I need to distance myself from the whole thing before I’m completely soured against a movement I’ve always identified myself with.

I don’t really care what any of you ladies or gentleman prefers to do behind your closed door or why you think it’s the best/worst thing ever. And I sure don’t appreciate being told what I should or shouldn’t enjoy.

Salon didn't present any opinion on blow jobs. Broadshit simply acknowledge that the debate was going on. It was taking place on other websites not salon. We at salon are free to comment on it and if you read any of the comments you would see that many think it is silly bullshit. Don't knock salon because you disagree with content on some other blog.

sandra m says:

--Patriarchy schmatriarchy. My boyfriend has a broken back so sex just now is a little difficult. But he insists - insists! - on going down on me every night. He likes me to be pleasured and fulfilled. It makes him happy.--

Quit your romanticizing, sandy. If I didn't hunker down at the feedbag every time you crack the whip you'd go and leave me lying here and take your love to town.

Plus cute how you fail to mention it was you yourself put the pick ax through my spine.

Patriarchy schmatriarchy and then some. I just wish you'd mind the geneva conventions like you used to, Hon.

dwight

How will this argument impact my ability to get cock? :-)

Is the potential of porn to help women learn to get really good at giving blowjobs. Maybe the younger generation is different, but a lot of women don't mind giving blowjobs but aren't particularly interested in getting good at it, which is really unfortunate. There's an enormous, varied curriculum out there with hundreds of lengthy video demonstrations of blowjobs from the best in the world. Rent and watch an early Stephanie Swift movie, for example. Ignore the plot, but just watch what she does -- the way she moves her body, her pace, everything. Absolutely incredible, and a real artist. Or watch how some Japanese actresses do it -- it's almost completely external. Going down on someone isn't like using a can opener. Merely being willing to do it isn't enough, whatever Twisty (lovely name, that) and her idiot friends think. You also have to work at it, and care about doing it properly.

I was introduced to the blowjob in my formative sexual days... a boyfriend who felt he deserved to get off because he felt aroused. There were several options... since I refused intercourse at the time, the insistance on one of the other types was quite strong. So I can see the "it's a form of domination" side of the argument.

However, now that I have some informed choice in the matter (and adjusting for my preference for women) I know there are times when I want to engage in sex with my lips, mouth, and tounge. So I get that some people may really enjoy the act with the right partner.

What's sad to me about the debate is that it's another version of what it "Truly means" to be a feminist. I prefer a very broad reading... feminists are men or women who believe women have the right to own property, to participate in good paying work, to enroll in any school, to be physically safe when alone, to choose one's own sexual expression, and to be economically independant.

- Anne