You wrote an interesting letter.

Man, I wish all the women I dated used that decoder ring early on! :)

Eh, so exactly what does it say about me if I like to go down on my wife?

After all, your mouth (and teeth) are on the most vulnerable part of his body. Unless a weapon is being held to your head, that's a pretty powerful position to be in. You can choose to give him pleasure, or you can choose to hurt him irreparably (it IS possible to inflict major damage with your teeth).

For the record, I enjoy giving blow jobs in moderation (i.e. every couple of weeks or so). I don't see what the big deal is, or why we ought to inquire closely into what other people want to do in bed. Smacks of the sex police.

I find that exploring a handsome cock with my tongue and lips and working my mouth in different ways to bring him off is deeply, deeply satisfying. I get a buzz from swallowing jizzzzz. Probably a placebo effect, but it feels real to me.

Also, the balance of power and pleasure is so "heady". What better way to reward kind, sweet acts like, say, if he baked me a lemon meringue pie?

Oral sex between consenting adults is part of a larger expression of sexuality; and not all acts of intimacy need to provide intense pleasure to both parties. Does going down on a woman "neuter" a man? I can attest from experience it does not, nor is fellatio inherently submissive. It is part of a larger expression. Lighten up, people...

What a conversation to get into first thing in the morning!

I only checked out a few links so far but I think what bothers me most about this hullabaloo is that the so-called feminists on the links seem to feel that women are still incapable of thinking on their own. Isn't feminism supposed to be about empowering women to make their own choices, achieve success in their career and raise women up to be equally important as men in all aspects of society?

Why then do these particular feminists feel that I can't choose to like something just because I might happen to enjoy it? Apparently all my sexual tastes have been developed by The Man and I haven't been able to come to my own conclusions about my own desires. Since I didn't really see porn until well into my twenties, I pretty much figured out the blowjob by trial and error. It wasn't because some guy told me I had to do it or because I was brainwashed by subversive porn images. I just did it, well, because its something a guy can't do for himself so it must be a nice, little sensation for him.

I consider myself a hardcore feminist but the branch I belong to is the one that says a woman can stay home to raise the kids if she wants to, can decide not to bother to marry or go childless if she wants to, can decide what type of birth control she'd like to use without letting the righties rule her, can decide if she wants to get paid to dance, can decide to wear makeup because she likes to look her best, can vote her conscience because she's researched the issues and well, can decide to give a bj because she wants to give her man pleasure and because she probably enjoys reciprocation as well.

Whats the point of feminism if some "feminists" keep insisting that all women are victims and therefore need constant saving from themselves?

<<They are not interested in having sex with men, and would prefer that no one else did either.>>

As a lesbian, I can tell you that *for me personally* the first part of that sentence is true. I don't presume to speak on anyone else's behalf.

HOWEVER, the latter part of your sentence is not for me. Why shouldn't everyone get/give/enjoy what they want to do/what pleases them or their S.O.s? As a feminist (though I don't know how radical I am), I believe women should do what pleases them. If some women like pleasuring their male lover that way, so it be. Enjoy!

But, geez, don't blame dykes for everything! Some of us like to have fun, too!

How about we all remain celibate and live on separate islands? I think in the near future - men and women will come to the point where they interact sexually, socially for maybe 5-8 years of their lives and then after that we all take on an androgenous outer indifference. I can't wait and I don't care anymore.

Well thank goodness for navel-gazing crypto-puritans! They're really contributing a lot to the welfare of this planet and all her inhabitants.

These wingnuts need to go get a volunteer gig in a food bank, or with Habitat for Humanity, or teaching ESL classes, or something -- *anything* -- that will stop them from foisting their redonkulous self-obsessed PoMo Feminist deconstructivist overanalysis of cocksucking on the rest of us. I mean really, what insane amounts of spare time do these folks have on their hands that perhaps could be better spent making things easier for people who really have it tough? Gadzooks!

Everyone knows women use sex to get love and men are the other way around. A sudden dropping off in blowjobs indicates nothing more than a new SUV in the driveway.

My boyfriend acts like he's entitled to blowjobs, but acts like he's doing me a big favor when he goes down on me. I mainly do it to stimulate his 45-year-old penis, which seems to get soft if not constantly attended to. At least he doesn't come in my mouth.

...but acts like he's doing me a big favor when he goes down on me. I mainly do it to stimulate his 45-year-old penis, which seems to get soft if not constantly attended to. At least he doesn't come in my mouth."

OH SNAP

Oh, and David wins the internet. Well said.

...it is definitely empowering, as it brings even the most manly of men to their knees, screaming like a bitch. Sometimes, they even get scared and don't want you to do it too often, because it makes them feel emasculated.