So some dyke (the politically correct terminology, I trust) was bored and decided to start a shit-fight with straight feminists over cock-sucking. Mission accomplished. (Reinforces my disdain for feminists, or at least anyone who self-applies the term.) The issue is irrelevant, though: the vast majority of hot girls are not lesbians, and are not averse to sucking dick. Keep up the good work, Salon!

Whenever the self-appointed feminists decide their opinion is "the one and only rule that must be obeyed" they get surprised when their sisters exercise their right to speak their own mind. Then they lose even more ground when they take other women's opinions which differ from their own and slap on "tool of the patriarchy" labels: the academic equivelent of "I'm rubber and you're glue, whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you."

Arguing over oral sex is like arguing about abortion. In both instances it's too late and everyone's forced to take strident actions for which they're often unprepared.

All humans, regardless of the -ists attached to their cause, would be better off fostering open, honest discussions with each other about self-respect and healthy expressions of the self, including the sexual self. That means not only all the variations on sexual expression, but also all the consequences: emotional, biological, and even financial. We do each other no good at all when we fail to tell the whole truth, when we support conflicting messages, and then when we decide arbitrary rules for belonging to our club. ("OK, everyone, feminists can't suck dick because porn portrays it as a submissive act. Do as we say or you can't join our club!")

Please. Two mature adults ought to be able to be open and honest enough in their relationship to talk about all aspects of sex and sexuality before they go at it, shouldn't they?

I'd guess you're very naive, Rebecca, or you never read the comments on Broadsheet's stories with a critical eye. Broadsheet articles regularly bring up flame wars between the two camps of feminism -- and your articles usually favor the radical "give men no quarter, or blowjobs" side.

Please don't pretend you don't know this. It either means you're being cynically disingenuous about your experience and knowledge of the issues you write on, or that you're hopelessly out of touch with those same issues.

I have just been told about the latest social emollient: Rainbow parties. Seems the female partygoers each wear different-colored lipsticks and the guy with the most colors, wins.

I'm wondering about something. How much time do the radical lesbian feminists spend WATCHING STRAIGHT PORN? I mean really, they seem pretty up on the subject. I'd appreciate anyone (like a radical lesbian feminist, no insult intended, just looking for one) telling me where they, as a group, have developed their understanding of pornography -- field research, or in a women's studies discussion group.

So I went out and read a few of the blogs that started this (shudder) and now I have another question. I live in Wash, DC, and so I know a large number of gay men. Why is that gay men don't have issues with straight women, and yet lesbian feminists do? Why do radical lesbian feminsits, who really aren't even playing in the same league so to speak, have so much to say about hetero feminists having sex?

If I have chosen to have sex with somebody who turns me on, I enjoy fellatio. I'm glad you angry women have a place to vent so vehemently, but your energy could be used more effectively in other endeavors.

...but the best part was 6 pages of discussions about blow-jobs and not one mention of Bill Cli...oops!

Aw'right, last post on this subject (I'll admit it, this discussion fascinates me more than my job):

DOMINI FOR PRESIDENT!

I'll just say this: I wooed and married my wife because, among other things, she is a proud and intelligent feminist. I wouldn't have it any other way.

She loves to give me head, and vice-versa.

End of story.

Why would anyone care what a creature called "Twisty" declares - particularly when s/he decides to speak for all women from the beginning of time (a paraphrase, but pretty close to her words)? Luckily for all you BJ lovers, "Piny" came to the rescue - along, thank God, with "Amanda"! Phew! Of course, when the conversation gets as weighty as whether a lesbian likes/dislikes sucking dick, we're all lucky that "punkassblog" and "Jill" rise above the frey along with "Jessica"!

It's interesting that Triaster feels there's some significance to all this, while some might opine that Twisty and Amanda and Piny and whatshername at "punkassblog" and even Jill and Jessica are just little blips out in cyberspace...

But aren't we all?

I want to know what Ms Traister's stance on fellatio is-- come on, Rebecca, give us the straight dope. What's your stance on it?

DO any of these women feel a man going down on them is degrading? Or mandatory? I, for one, simply enjoy doing it for the sake of doing it because my partner appreciates and enjoys it. Can't a woman feel the same way?

I dont know if my sex makes me disqualified about commenting this, but I am a gay man, and the sex that I loves most with my man is giving blowjobs (i like getting them too, but not as much as giving them)...

None of us are especially submissive, its just that I realy love it, both for the intimacy, the control and the reactions (I know exactly how his body reacts on the road to ejaculation), and yes, i like the "reward" in the end...

I assume there are hetro girls who likes it just as much as me...

Only if it's a one-way street--physicaly or psychologically. If you allow someone to treat you with less respect than you give yourself, you have a problem, and fellatio then is a symptom, not the "dis-ease" (as Mary Daly would say).

The issues and questions raised in this debate are thought provoking. And while I would not deny the power dynamic issue or the larger cultural and historical context of the blow job (the ancient Romans had very strong opinions on this...)I have discovered that it can open the door to learning fundamentals about a guy I am seeing.

It would be delightful if us straight women found enlightened, mature, interesting sexy guys with whom to develop relationships and could know that's what we've found on the first or second date. And I at least occasionally think that I have found this. And can be very wrong. As many of you know, a few dates or even half a dozen can be entertaining, interesting, fun and lead you to believe you may have a found a man with whom you share values and enjoy companionship. Most people can talk a good game at the beginning, though. Thankfully, the BJ can act as a secret decoder ring, revealing things about a man he might prefer you didn't consider.

For example, I recently spent some time with a guy from NY. Interesting converstionalist, educated on women's issues, hilarious stories of interviews he conducted for articles he'd written. Eventually, I unpacked a few sweaters and a toothbrush - and the BJ revealed a very different man indeed. From attentive conversation over dinner to a hand on the back of my neck pushing me to his crotch - after a 14 hour work day. While sitting on the sofa watching the Sopranos. Apparently, this man felt that my mouth had some sort of obligation to his cock that did not involve the rest of my person. Interestingly, this was a man who categorically refused to return the favor. Thank you secret decoder ring! Without the BJ-induced insight I might have dated this guy for many months before perceiving his self-centeredness and his selfishness. (Of course, subtle cues had been present all along in retrospect, so...I probably also need to pay more attention up front.)

So, whether you enjoy performing this act (and some of us actually do under the right circumstances) or whether you view it as an ongoing act of male dominance and oppression in every context, sometimes it can shed a little light on the way a man views himself, his partner and of course his penis...