I find it pitiful how many Americans are so obsessed with condemning sex in some way or another. If it isn't the right wing lunatics it is a sliver of the feminist world finding something nefarious in the most natural and enjoyable human activities. I pity all of them. It comes as no surprise that right wing nut cases would hate and condem sex, but it is always tremendously disappointing for me to see this feminist anti-sex thing. It appears in high relief when the subject is cocksucking. Is it so hard for people to understand that all kinds of sexual activity is okay if the participants freely engage in it? Blowjobs and pussy eating are two of the most common sexual acts. Why? Cause they feel so fucking good people! What's so hard about understanding that and why the fuck would anyone want to deny anyone else the pleasure of oral sex? If it feels good people: do it! Enjoy it! And those of you who don't like it or find something about it disgusting... shut the fuck up!

This headline should win an award, really.

What a pointless debate. Why politicize a blow job? Lots of women like to receive oral sex, why wouldn't they like to return the favor?

Personally, I wouldn't say that I *enjoy* giving a blow job, but I love my husband and want him to be happy. I don't particularly enjoy receiving oral sex myself, but again, I'll indulge the husband now and again because he likes to do it. I admit I'm wired strangely in that oral sex doesn't really do anything for me. There are sexual things that the husband does for me that are probably not his favorite things in the world to do, but no one is feeling burdened or oppressed, especially when you're making the person you love happy. It is a relationship, after all.

It would be one thing if your boss is coercing you to give him head, but I would venture to guess that most women are doing this in the context of a relationship or at least with someone they *like* on some levels.

Blowing a guy is neither gross nor empowering. Blowing a guy because you wish to give him pleasure is hot; blowing a guy for any other reason can be kind of gross. Sort of like wiping the ass of a baby just weaned to solid food - if it's your baby, no problem. If it's a baby you're not really invested in, well, guesw what - it looks like shit, it smells like shit because it *is* shit.

I find this discussion appallingly anti-feminist. What if guys were writing these opinions - that licking pussy makes you gag and is part of the feminazi agenda? A world where a guy won't willingly go down on me because it turns him on to give me pleasure is not a world I want to live in. And a guy has every right - obligation even - to feel the same way.

My boyfriend has a broken back so sex just now is a little difficult. But he insists - insists! - on going down on me every night. He likes me to be pleasured and fulfilled. It makes him happy. I love him with all my might. And I return the favor it is with all the enthusiasm I can muster - making him happy makes me happy. Patriarch schmatriarchy. Ain't nothing but us love birds here. Can't you find somewhere else to look?

Think I'll go see what he's up to.....

Why the passion about the issue? Because this version of “feminism” is – pardon me – a grotesque perversion of everything politically conscious liberals mean when we reflexively identify ourselves as feminists. The essence of such fanaticism is the elevation of sterile abstraction over authentic human experience, a belief that the most intimate emotional truths of living human beings are the product of false consciousness, illusions that must be adjusted to conform to the demands of ideological purity and political orthodoxy. Such feminism is morally obscene, emotionally dishonest and intellectually incoherent, reflecting the same twisted authoritarian impulse behind 1984, the Gulag, and the Inquisition. The absurdity of this perspective is immediately apparent in a practical context: If blowjobs represent collaboration with the Patriarchy, one can only imagine the transgressive status of anal sex. But only for heterosexuals, of course; when a gay man takes it up the ass, it is a subversive act of pure empowerment. And if a transgendered bisexual likes sucking dick? Well, one’s head could explode from sorting out the various permutations.

From the perspective of human feminism, the status of blowjobs is contingent on individual taste, AND HAS NOTHING WHATEVER TO DO WITH GOOD AND BAD. Ideology is the product of experience, not its cause, and whether a blowjob is empowering or oppressive is not a matter of objective truth, but simply a question of whether or not one likes to suck dick. The essence of feminism isn’t policing individual sex acts, but keeping the snouts of self-righteous, puritanical shitheads – Republican, Stalinist, Islamist or feminist – out of my bedroom.

Blowjobs are like bulimia: you swallow and then you let it come back up. It feels good, or it's gross, depending on your point of view.

IMO, this topic has attracted so many heated and mixed responses from women for the same reasons that so many women have borderline eating disorders.

Both blowjobs and bulimia are ways of coping with the dehumanizing culture that demands that we as women form our identities by ceaselessly consuming.

I just want to add my two cents to this discussion & I fully expect it to be brushed aside as anecdotal and therefore irrelevant or be told to "shut the fuck up" because it goes against the grain of common wisdom but...

I've given blowjobs that were plenty humiliating. To say that there is nothing humiliating about the act is wrong. If it's not done correctly between consenting adults, it is the most humiliating thing in the world, not to mention painful. I had a boyfriend who, in retrospect, wanted only to humiliate me during oral sex. It's how he got off. That's why he would shove his dick down my throat until I puked and cried. He liked me to vomit, so he could wipe it all over my face. And he wondered why I hated giving him blow jobs even more than I hated actually having sex with him. To the person who said giving blowjobs is a good way to go between intercourse...well I guess that works out if blowjobs are less painful than intercourse, but it's not that way for me. At least not with him.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think all men are like that and I'm not anti-sex. I fully believe that I will find somebody else who won't want to humiliate me for his pleasure, but in the meantime it makes me sad when I read that there is nothing humiliating about blowjobs at all. Such assertions further marginalizes those of us with sub-par sexual experiences who feel left out of this whole culture of sexuality that everyone talks about, but that never fails to disappoint when put into action.