Actually they probably can't. The issue has been fairly well studied and by any of the objective measurements that could be applied no one responded equally to both genders. There was always an overwhelming preference one way or the other, even for people who claim to be totally bi. Admittedly most of this work was with men. If gay women don't like being told to love cock maybe they should stop trying to tell straight women to hate it, although to be honest they are getting mixed messages from (allegedly)straight women on this score.

I like sucking cock. I like going down on girls, too. I never really think of it as humiliating other than when someone's trying to make me do it when I'm not interested or said person wants some, but doesn't want to reciprocate.

And the meaning of the act, I feel, is all about context. For example, for five years I had a boyfriend who wouldn't allow me to go down on him. Some people might take his refusal as a sign of respect, but it was symptomatic of other issues in the relationship -- namely that he was untrusting and unwilling to relax enough to enjoy being given the gift of pleasure. So it was a sign of being unwilling to really let me get close to him as well as a sign of a lack of acceptance. What's empowering about that?

The idea that a group of women I don't even know can decide for me what is empowering and what is not empowering feels pretty disempowering.

It feels like high school and the popular girls all over again.

Who tell people what they should and shouldn't be enjoying in the privacy of their own bedrooms.

What I find interesting is that most of the discussion seems to be focused on the act, stripped of all context. Blow jobs (or any other sexual act) are performed in the context of a relationship (which can be anything from a loving long-term relationship to a desperate drunken hookup, or heck, a business arrangement). The act itself isn't inherently icky or empowering- it's the context that it happens in that provides meaning. Giving a guy a blowjob because you feel like you have to, or because he expects it is probably going to feel pretty much as described in the original article. Doing it because you love them, or because they turn you on is probably going to feel wonderful and empowering to all parties concerned.

Really, you could substitute any sexual or intimate activity for "blow job" and the same rules apply. It's not what you do, it's why you do it.

Everyone must have health insurance, no one is starving, etc. It must be. If it isn't, then why are so many seemingly intelligent people losing their minds over something so trivial? Why is whether you like giving bjs or not important or even anyone's business? How will giving them change the world? Is this related to some big Lysistrata plot? Or is this simply post-feminist navel gazing, from people who read Manifesta a few too many times?

Feminism is not supposed to be derailed by this kind of intellectual claptrap. There are women in this world who are using feminism to try to save lives, to save 9 aand 12 year olds from rape and forced marriage, to educate girls, bring health care. They are fighting the Taliban's war on girls, and trying to get women and children in places like Darfur, Mogadishu, the Congo,etc food, drugs, etc. They are fighting the corruption in Nigeria, and AIDs in South Africa and multiple LatinAmerican states. They bring birth control to Brazil, Mexico, etc, sometimes at great personal costs.

Given that, how the hell can Western 'feminists" justify spending so much time and ink discussing BLOW JOBS? Are ya'll INSANE?

Stop navel gazing and start working for things that help. Or most women will conclude that feminism is about navel gazing and not about survival. Most of us out there who are female have no time for this priviledged, narcissistic over-ananlysis and application of the private.

College students want a feminism that changes the world, not that argues over "angels dancing on the head of a pin" . We need jobs, balance, oh so much. We don't need stupid debates about silliness.

All statements made regarding this topic involve only two people. (not that they couldn't be extrapolated to more, I suppose)

There are three reasons to have sex in a healthy relationship:

Its fun (or at least it should be)

To show care and affection on its deepest level to your partner.

Procreation.

How people get around combining these three points into their relationship is inherently their business. I have dated women who would and would not perform oral sex for their own reasons. Honestly, it just puts one of the toys back into the box. If the couple don't carry around the same box of toys then you just don't get to play with all of yours. I enjoy giving as much as getting. Almost. But I've always held that when a man is giving good oral sex, it is the only time he truly has complete control over a woman, which is pretty cool, since its not happening any of the rest of the time, as much as we might act like it is.

To make a blow-job a feminist issue is akin to the conservative obsession with sodomy. Fucking get over it. If you don't want a dick in your mouth, don't suck it. If you don't want a dick in your ass, don't do that either, and avoid prison.

No woman in the history of the world has ever liked to give head? REALLY? Wow, how amazing. I'm glad you're here to tell us these things, Sparky!

This is just as ridiculous as that furor over girls kissing each other to turn guys on. Hey, it's just SEX. If you like it, fine. If you don't, go have a cup of tea, for gods' sakes!

What the heck is it with people who feel compelled to tsk-tsk and EWWWW at the way other people get off? Isn't this just a flip-around of the way right-wingers get all gooey-gross-ew about sex? Seems to me it all basically boils down to I would never do that so you must be EVIL (or SICK or BRAINWASHED) for doing it! YUCK!! COOTIES!!11!!

As Dennis Miller once said about judgmental sexual attitudes, "There is nothing more fascinating to me than my own orgasm, and nothing less fascinting to me than yours." Women who like giving blow jobs are not weird, they're having a good time. I'm sure there are things Twisty likes that they would find icky too, but clearly that has no bearing on her Unquestionable Wisdom and Taste (pun intended).

But thanks for the Wank Report, Rebecca! Too funny by half.