Dear Anonymous,

Oh, and I'm still single btw. My other blow job loving friend and I always joke that we'd offer our husbands blowjobs and a sandwich during half time yet men seem to marry the women who won't give head then bitch about it.

Will you marry me?

The positions, the movements, the "exretions" - everything about it is pretty strange when you think about it. If you don't think so, then imagine your parents having sex. How about your boss? Your sibling? Yeah, I think you get the point. The mind recoils. I think that all in all, some things are better simply enjoyed without thinking too hard about them. Seafood, eggs, and sex are among those things.

The reason this issue touches a nerve is because it reveals an awkward truth about some of the most radical feminists out there--they're gay. They are not interested in having sex with men, and would prefer that no one else did either.

Realizing this simple truth explains a lot.

Did any of these feminists discuss the obvious parallels between blowjobs and giving a woman oral sex? Is that also a submissive / exploitive act that degrades her partner?

If yes, then I strongly disagree with the whole line of argument, for both male and female receptive oral sex. It basically says that all oral sex is inherently exploitive and therefore should be avoided. I doubt you'll find many women who feel that way about receiving head (but quite possibly about giving it to men, which makes for a nice, but common, double standard).

If no, then why is a blowjob exploitive / degrading but eating pussy not?

John

PS - I can understand why women don't enjoy having a guy cum in their mouth -- it's pretty gross (although comparable to having a woman cum on your face and tongue). Most of the times when I receive oral sex though I just do it to get strongly aroused and don't want to make my partner get me off with her mouth unless she really wants to do that. I think using blowjobs (fluffing) in this manner is actually the more common way they are used in real life.

PPS - Sorry if any of the above was overly graphic or offensive :)

I don't have much of an opinion either way, though I would point out that Twisty absolutely was picking a sarcastic fight to amuse herself more than anything... she's good at it. one of the reasons I like her...

BUT WHAT THE FUCK!?

"those of us with two brain cells to rub together and an ability to actually connect in a sexually intimate way with other human beings of a male persuasion tend to be able to find ways to invite men into our beds without turning it into a threesome with the patriarchy."

Yeah, and knowing, in context that Twisty is gay makes the above tirade deeply and creepily homophobic in context--how many times have I heard something like that or had something like that implied by a straight women TO gay women (ME). Like we are defective for not wanting to have sex with men. great, what a great way to have an interesting conversation.

and:

"The reason this issue touches a nerve is because it reveals an awkward truth about some of the most radical feminists out there--they're gay. They are not interested in having sex with men, and would prefer that no one else did either."

Thank you for more homophobia. Super. And anyone should wonder why I often feel, against my will even, pangs of distrust when I meet new straight women... I don't have to be afraid of being beat up, just ostracized in nice little catty ways: love the cock or hate the cock.

Some people are super simplistic two brain celled creatures--whatever thoughts they manage to rub together.

Oh, and I would also point out that people can be gay AND straight. duh.

Can't tell if you're a homophobe or just naive about the kind of sex that lesbians sometimes have but let me be the first to tell you the 1)You don't have to be a lesbian feminist to hate giving blow jobs 2) Your view of who a person has to be in order to have a certain opinion is not only archaic but is also stunted and lastly--this is really going to make your head spin 3) Some lesbians do like to give head.

>>Yeah, and knowing, in context that Twisty is gay makes the above tirade deeply and creepily homophobic in context--how many times have I heard something like that or had something like that implied by a straight women TO gay women (ME). Like we are defective for not wanting to have sex with men. great, what a great way to have an interesting conversation.<<

I think you're misinterpreting her. I didn't take this to mean that women with more than two brain cells automatically figure out that sex with men is better, just that smart heterosexual women with feminist male partners can figure out on their own how to have non-oppressive heterosexual sex (and give non-oppressive blowjobs). I agree with her. I don't take kindly to the idea that I'm not smart enough to figure out who I want to have sex with and why. I would never tell a lesbian that she feels the way she does because she hasn't found the right guy yet, and I don't like being told that I only enjoy what I do in bed because I've been somehow coerced by men to enjoy it.

I do agree with you about the second post you quoted. Yeesh, that just doesn't advance the discussion at all.

Some feminists like giving blow jobs and some don't.

Some feminists think it's okay to like giving blow job and some don't.

Some feminists believe women are humiliated by giving blow jobs and some believe women are empowered by giving blow jobs.

Suffice it to say that I doubt there is a succinct feminist stance on the topic but this was hugely entertaining to read.

How about ... if you don't want to do it, don't, and I won't criticise you? And if I want to, you can mind your own business too?

Pandagon Amanda's take on subverting the dynamic and irony, etc although wellwritten has some flaws. Hers is a very limited view for trying to change the dynamic--it may take irony to reclaim the value of the word blowjob but I believe the act, the blower and the blowee--the whole dynamic can be turned on its head (no pun intended) if we look at it like this:

The blowee (the "dominant figure") in order to humiliate/oppress/disempower the blower (the "submissive figure") takes his extremely delicate, overstimulated, hypersensitive, icon of manhood and puts it between the teeth of the blower whose jaw can potentially apply up to 200lbs of pressure...it doesn't take a mathmetician, a doctor, philosopher or any other highly degreed person to understand who is truly in the position of power during this particular sex act--the problem is, some blowers just don't know whose boss.