Letters to the Editor
-
Makes Sense To Me
I think it's natural that this debate set off such a firestorm. The original post was attacking women who enjoy giving oral sex to their partners, essentially saying that women like them shouldn't exist, and if they do exist it's because they're brainwashed. If someone said that to me I would be pretty pissed too.
-
I Second That Emotion...BUT...
There's a false dichotomy between blow jobs and going down on a lady and it's this: Women don't pee out of there clits. Men do pee out of their penises. Enough said.
-
Men get more pee going down on women than the other way around ususally
Because is is physically impossible to lick the INSIDE of a male urethra and that's the only place there is any pee, UNLIKE in the female case. So do anti-blow-job women somehow convince themselves that men should like going down on them or are they ok with nobody doing it.
-
Dude, Shut The Fuck Up!
What in fucking hell are you talking about? Men pee out their cocks, but women don't pee out their clits?
If you eat pussy, and you never get your mouth/lips/nose/tongue/face where the pee comes from, you're not doing a very good job!
-
Observations
Rob,
Your short email is just a couple sentences longer than "enough said." Your cunnilingus technique must be worse than your spelling if the clitoris is all you take note of. Do it right and you'll need a towel.
As for the other end of the spectrum, blow jobs needn't involve ingestion to be fantastic. And equating them with submission as if the stupid porn star habit of spraying all over a woman's face is the norm only would betray a gross ignorance of most people's reality.
-
Feminist Soap Opera?
I can't imagine how exhausting it must have to summarize all that tooing and froing about blowing. But the names alone - Jessica, Amanda - reminded me of a soap opera. This whole debate really reads like a bizarro episode of Dynasty, with Krystal going "ewwww! patriarchy!" at the thought of having to go down on Dex Dexter, and with Alexis elbowing her out of the way with a hearty, "Sisterhood is powerful, pass me the powertool!" Who says feminists are humorless?
-
The feminist blogosphere explodes over dick
That is one hilarious subheading. :D
As far as it being gross.. Pretty much everything that comes out of the human body can be considered gross. But I think that to judge someone else's sexual preferences based on your politics, I don't mean this in a mean way, but that sounds like a personal problem. I mean, should fellatio be made illegal in place of that nasty, submissive anal sex act that just got legalized? Or is it only OK to get poked with a penis if you have one, too? Or is dick-poking only acceptable if a baby might be made from it? *gasp*
I think people who consider dick-sucking to be "empowering" are just as mistaken as the ones who think it's an act of submission. Yeah, it can be empowering, and it can be an act of submission, and some people get off on one or the other of those things whether dick-sucking makes it into the mix or not (the fact that there are people out there getting off on submission/empowerment is a whole 'nother subject). But basically, oral sex is just meant to make genitals feel good. When people get together for consensual sex, making each other feel good (especially the genitals) is usually the goal.
-
Boiled down
I guess my opinion can be boiled down to: I don't see what the fuss is about, but dick-sucking debate is a fun read! Bring on more letters about genitalia and bodily fluids, and pass the popcorn.
-
It's always gross if you aren't attracted to the person, too bad it can't just be left at that, oh yeah
THAT might suggest that not all the emotional reactions of the self appointed guardians of the female gender constitute the perfect and complete expression of objective, immutable, universal truths. Preference is preference, for everyone. Equality sure would be a bitch, not much of a threat of that though.
-
Fixed Tags...
I've always wondered why so many men are so threatened by feminists. Now I totally get it! Yikes. There really are women out there who don't want men to enjoy life. Wouldn't it be more "feminist" to demand the right to reciprocation?
There is nothing - nothing - humiliating about oral sex. I can't even debunk the notion since there's no "there" there to debunk.
The gag reflex is a reflex, a biological response.
If you feel a particular need to be progressive about it, then just make sure women get equal opportunity to receive oral sex. That would probably be a better source of research and controversy.
Most women I've dated have had less of a sex drive than I do; one was vice-versa. Oral sex is a convenient way to cover the gap. And frankly, you can virtually always get more in other favors from the receiver than the time it takes.
-
mind over matter?
It would seem, in the original post and the many, many responses, that the crux, so to speak of the matter is whether one believes all we are as humans is our bodies. If we are defined by cock and cunt, penetrated and penetrator, then of course giving head would seem subjugating and tiresome. But, if sex between willing partners is largely about what takes place in the mind, a great deal of what is physically going on really doesn't matter outside of a base level of stimulation.
Giving head feels, to me, like worship--in the most uplifting sense of the word. Of course blowjobs can be mechanical and empty and even abusive, but it is our minds and souls that define how we approach our sexuality, not our bodies or our genders or even our politics.
-
I absolutely love giving a good blow job!
I haven't had the chance to read the actual blogs yet, just your round-up Rebecca, but as a flaming liberal and ardent feminist I'm baffled as to how giving blow jobs has turned me into a subserviant and brainwashed idiot.
The truth is, as a generally orally fixated person I just naturally tend to love giving head as well. Granted, if the guy hasn't showered recently I doubt I'd do it but that has rarely ever been a problem. It doesn't even enter my mind that the guy pees out of the thing since all I'm getting is the cum. Oh yeah, I swallow as well. Less mess, less fuss. I didn't even realize NOT swallowing was an option until I was 27 and listening to some high-maintenance women talking about needing a napkin to spit in. I would think the act of holding it in your mouth, then letting it travel back out onto a towel or something would actually increase the contact with the cum as opposed to just letting it go down the throat as it comes. And no, I don't deep throat so it has nothing to do with that. As for pulling your head away as the guy comes, that also seems pointless because now its getting everywhere I probably don't want it to. Once again, less mess, less fuss and I've rarely tasted bad cum.
Also, since I've only achieved coming thru intercourse a few times like a good 70% of women in every sex study I've seen, I'm a stickler when it comes to having a guy go down on me since thats my preferred way of coming. So how could I possibly expect a guy to perform for me while saying that I find the act submissive if done to him? Besides most guys I've encountered love to eat a girl out. Why not reciprocate?
I've been told since college that I'm pretty damn good at it as well. I actually learned as a teen from reading a Cosmo article in the 80's (that my conservative mother actually had in her closet) titled something like "how to make love to a man's body" and only one suggestion I used early on brought on a negative response. They advised to gently rake the penis with your teeth and I only tried that once when the guy practically jumped out of bed with the slightest contact with my teeth!
I never even saw a penis until my freshman year at college but it was a pretty natural thing for me to get good at using all the techniques Cosmo suggested. The only thing that has ever turned me off is if a guy has pushed my head down. If he starts doing that I pretty much won't go down. Otherwise, I'm usually the one initiating it. 69 is kind of a pain though so I'd prefer to do the act one at a time. Bad angles and too hard to keep at it if I'm starting to come.
Oh, and I'm still single btw. My other blow job loving friend and I always joke that we'd offer our husbands blowjobs and a sandwich during half time yet men seem to marry the women who won't give head then bitch about it. My married friends never, ever give their husbands blow jobs. Everytime I meet up with them I suggest they go home to their husbands and give them a nice blow job. Their response is that I'll stop doing so once I get married. Maybe thats why I never married!