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Thursday, May 11, 2006 12:00 AM

Is chivalry dead? Or just civility?

Pregnant women find Metro riders in D.C. reluctant to relinquish their seats.

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  • Friday, May 12, 2006 01:20 PM

    Chivalry will do

    When a man offers his seat to me, I usually take it, with thanks and a smile. Not because I want to be put on a pedestal and treated like a delicate, fragile possession, but because I'm a wee bit old-fashioned myself and like to think that he treats his mother, wife, or daughter with the same respect and should be rewarded with positive reinforcement, not glares and angry epithets.

    I have a rule about offering my seat to an older person: if it's a woman old enough to be my mother, or a man old enough to be my grandfather, I give up my seat. It's not because these people appear frail, but because they are elders and deserve our respect, and I would want my mother and grandfather (were he still alive) to receive that kind of respect. Visibly-pregnant women, disabled commuters, and other obviously beleaguered souls always get my sympathy, too, but I see people much more willing to give up their seat for a pregnant woman than for an elder, and I think that's a shame.

    I draw the line at finding political implications in the demonstration of old-fashioned manners. Maybe it's chivalry and preservation of the patriarchy, but if I have a choice between having doors held for me because I'm a woman and having them slammed in my face because of equal-opportunity bad manners, I'll take the chivalry every time. Anything to get people treating each other they way they would want those closest to them to be treated.

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