...who's secure enough about his masculinity not to need a book like Manliness to pump him up.

In my opinion, the Sensitive New-Age Guy is an utterly self-absorbed, nasty piece of work, and for this writer to suggest that it's him or Republican Jesus(tm) for us would be enough, were it true, to make one run screaming for the convent.

Mansfield was also featured yesterday on the WBUR/NPR show On Point with Tom Askbrook. The audio archive can be found here…

http://www.onpointradio.org/shows/2006/03/20060321_b_main.asp

Apparently we women can derive true happiness from vacuuming and that a true manly man can and should never know that happiness because its women’s work.

Also, he was briefly profiled in the 3/12 NY Times Magazine on page 15...

I feel like I can’t avoid this man. I’m just embarrassed for him, I feel bad for his wife and I can’t believe we work for the same university.

He seems to hold up alot of fictional characters as examples of manly men - such as John Wayne's western characters from 40s & 50s. Guess what - they didn't exist and neither did the great old West that those movies portrayed.

What does/should it mean to be a "man" in modern American society? What types of behavior do modern American women expect to see in modern American men? Is there a disconnect between what women say they want in a "man" and what they actually want in a man as demonstrated by their behavior?

In my opinion, these questions are worth serious discussion. Unfortunately, it seems you'd prefer to avoid serious discussion by setting up a strawman (or strawperson) that we can all gleefully slash to bits. You say, "[y]es, some women have a thing for cads," thereby defining "manliness" as "cadliness" and allowing us all to safely avoid the very real, and often subtle, issues relating to gender-based expectations in modern society.

The next time I want to get with some chicks, I think I'll just go out and shoot some Indians, by which I mean Native Americans.

All this time I wasted being "nice" because I mistakenly thought women want to bang Jesus. What a fool I've been.

Again as a nice guy with much experience with women of all types, y'all are a bit knee jerky. To dismiss the fact that women are behaviorally drawn to abusive "manly" jerks is not to give enough credence to the genetic and evolutionary sources of some human behavior, or the pre and subconcious influence of gender on all human beings, even those who consciously try to resist gender construction. I've dated radical feminist who still eroticise their own denigration. I've been cheated on by a cultural feminist who slept with an black BMW driving promiscuous abusive I-banker. I know it is difficult to accept, but women, for whatever reason, even the obnes who identify and resist the issue, still fall prey to behaviors that have developed over thousands of years. Don't be so dismissive.

Sorry to contradict the post, but it IS a gender thing. Younger women do love bad boys. Women are attracted to power, be it financial, physical, emotional etc...Bad boys have a strength about them that nice guys dont have, and it drives women crazy. Throw in the "I can fix him!", as well as the, " Lets rebel against who I should marry", mentality, and you have the ultimate draw for younger women. Women do grow out of this, but it can take quite a few years. Men do not have the equivalent of this syndrome, and its dishonest to say otherwise.

Men are "punished" in their younger years for being "nice" and "sensitive". These traits pay off later, but the early rejections are not forgotten, and bitterness and resentment can set in.

Of course this guy is an idiot for forcing a false dichotomy of "manly" vs. "sensitive." But I have a theory as to why confidence and sensitivity aren't found together in many men (or women for that matter).

Jerks tend to be confident, perhaps over-cofident, and horribly insensitive. Given the number of jerks and bullies in our society (maybe 50% of us), it's not surpising that most confident men are also insensitive jerks. Shy and introverted people (maybe 25% of us), on the other hand, tend to be sensitive, but lack in the confidence arena.

It's not that sensitivity and confidence are mutually exclusive -- with so many jerks and introverts running around, they're just hard to find together in one package. So, unfortunately, some women are going to have to make compromises when choosing mates ...

Please choose us introverts ;)

ok, thats all true.

Its also true that young men are attracted to pretty women regardless of whether they are dumb as rocks or complete bitches, so to speak. Young women are punished for cultivating healthy personalities or a balanced roster of talents at the expense of looking their best all the time ("their best" being very thin with large breasts, ie. society's "their best").

Eventually smart, nice, sensible women may be rewarded for their choices, but isn't it understandable if bitterness sets in first?

The only difference seems to be that young men may be slightly more up-front about their tacky preferences than young women.

woman want a man that is sexually aggressive and physically dominant and not a wall flower.

You 're never going to be able to assess a person soley based on their gender.

You will never know exactly what you ought to do with your life based on your gender.

People are individuals.

Women do not and will not ever all want the same thing.

They will want, get, lose, reject and desire again many different things over the course of their lives.

Same for men.

Because we live in a time when we get to make choices - something for which I am daily grateful.

The very fact that this book is even starting a debate is ridiculous. Mansfield was interviewed by Tom Ashbrook on our local NPR affiliate last night.

Mansfield can barely even articulate his thesis without long pauses and stuttering. He cannot even answer basic questions that would be thrown to any grad student who had to defend a dissertation.

He slipped twice during the interview and once he said something along the lines of it should be fine for a man to say to woman that she is "inferior."

The feminsit writer from the Nation, who was on to counter Mansfield, seemed to be laughing through most of the segment.

By the way, Mansfield went on to describe in great detail one of the epitomes of manliness: John Wayne. He waxed poetically about Wayne's decisiveness, etc. Well, you'll be happy to know that the other guest, the host and even a caller all pointed out to Mansfield that John Wayne is a commercial and artistically manufactured icon who bears no resemblance to an actual person. One Ex-Marine even called in to remind Mansfield and the listening audience that Wayne ducked out of actual military service during a time of conflict in which most men volunteered.