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Sunday, Nov 8, 2009
For proving my point.
It's no fun making fun of people when they're too stupid to know their responses are exactly what I just stated they would be.
Different people have different bounderies when it comes to sexuality. Some people have anal sex on the first date. Some people won't even kiss until they've been dating a while. This includes definitions of cheating. Some people feel that flirting is cheating. Some people don't feel that making out is cheating. Some people have a good place for porn in their relationships. Some people feel that using porn is a type of infidelity.
People's bounderies need to be respected. Some people have stricter bounderies than other. If your partner is uncomfortable with a sexual act, then to continue with it is just wrong. People have limitations. Sometimes they can be talked out of them. Sometimes they can't. If you can't respect your partner's limits, its a real problem.
Alara, I don't want to jump on you since you've contributed two of the most thoughtful letters here, but aren't you concerned that your commodities--from porn movies to a head of lettuce--are based on people working miserable jobs that you wouldn't wish on a friend, let alone your child? I'm not saying we all have to renounce material culture, but a little guilt can be a good thing--if it makes you aware and willing to look for ways to improve life for the people we depend on to provide for us.
She's just a troll.
I won't be renewing, knowing some of it goes to employing her.
And now we come to the crux of the matter. It's all well and good to have boundaries and they should be respected. But it's a good idea for the boundary-setter to examine their boundaries to see if they are reasonable.
To quote Dan Savage: "Any model that doesn't come with oral sex as a standard feature should be returned to the lot."
I'm perfectly happy to respect your boundaries as long as you respect my right to get out because of them.
If oral sex is more important than your loved one, well then, yeah. You shouldn't be with that loved one.
Relationships are about compromise. If porn is an important part of your lifestyle, and if it makes your SO feel really uncomfy, maybe it wasn't meant to be. But insisting your SO accept something that makes them very uncomfortable is not OK. If porn is more important than your partner's sexual comfort, well, that's a choice you make. If living a porn-free life is more important than your SO, that's also a choice.
Sometimes acceptable compromises can be reached. People can work out happy (or at least moderately satisfied) mediums. If they can't, they shouldn't be together.
It isn't a question of "reasonable" or "unreasonable", it is a question of "compatible" or "uncompatible".
Much of the initial coverage about Fort Hood turned out to be wrong. Is there anything wrong with that?
The accountability imposed by another country for the CIA's kidnapping and torture reveals much about our own.
Fox News' morning show plays to type, talking about whether Muslims in the Army should face "special debriefings"
219 Democrats and one Republican join in favor of the legislation, which passed by a narrow margin
The survivor and author is upset about comparisons some on the right are making to genocide
Salon headlines in your mailbox
