is appreciation of attractive bodies doing sexy things a BAD thing?

Puritans SUCK

You've obviously never read anything about prisons, the British Royal Navy or Brokeback mountain.

The point about porn work is that it's considered immoral.

As is abortion by many. Would you also not want your daughter to have one? Or are your morals the only ones that count?

most straight men are as horrifed by gay male porn as women are by male/female porn.

There's a reason for this: porn feels very different to many men when they see another male being "used" for pleasure in the way they like to see women used for pleasure.

Um...not to disagree, but I don't think "most straight men" are "horrified" by "gay male porn" for the same reason "women" are "horrified" by "male/female porn"--if indeed they are.

"My husband watches gay porn all of the time, every single day. He watches gay porn so often that he doesn't get anything done around the house. He has enormous collections of gay porn materials. Why doesn't he want to have sex with me?"

This has got to be the dumbest thing I have read on the internet in at least a year. Here's a tip smarty, straight men do not spend a majority of their free time looking at gay porn...period...no exceptions...ever.

Ok, porn is considered more immoral than coal mining, but what about being a furrier, or working at KFC, or having a job in animal testing, or hunting whales, or working for Exxon-Mobil, or Monsanto, or who the heck knows what else.

There are a lot of jobs out there that you can find someone to be offended about, but that doesn't mean you wouldn't want your daughter to do it.

Actually I wouldn't want my daughter or son to do it either, but that's just me. It's more that straight porn tends not to use condoms and also that I think it might be hard to separate out the emotional from the sexual aspects of the whole deal.

After all, nowhere in the bible does it forbid being photographed or filmed in the act of sex, so how do we know God has an issue with it.

I suspect your husband is coming to realize that he is gay. Or at the very least bi-sexual. I say this because a porn collection is very telling about what a person likes sexually. I have always looked at my guys porn to find out what they like. One guy had all this bondage porn, so I got the fuck out of there fast as bondage is not my thing. I have a husband, and his porn pretty much matches what we do, minus the multiple partners. I have many straight male friends with porn collections. Not one of them has any male gay porn, lesbian porn, sure, but many of them stick with all female porn or 2 or more women to one guy porn. Also since your husband seems to be having gay fantasies, as a very straight woman all I can say is that the idea of licking a woman's twat has never appealed to me, no matter how many times I see it in porn and I've asked my husband if seeing these guys has ever made him wonder what it'd be like to be with a man, his response was practically outrage. Straight men, do not have fantasies of sticking another man's penis in their mouth or their ass or vice versa.

Any straight men here have fantasies of being with other guys, but you are fully sure you're straight? Any gay guys out there thinking they were straight until they got a hold of some gay male porn?

So talk to your husband, tell him your concerns, and even ask if he'd be willing to get rid of the gay porn and just return to the straight porn. If he refuses, then I think you have your answer.

The Porn actor/coal miner analogy is invalid. The point about porn work is that it's considered immoral. That's why you don't want your daughter doing it. Coal mining is brutal work, and you might not want to do it for a number of reasons, but it's not because coal mining (or flipping hamburgers,...) is considered immoral. Geez, isn't that obvious enough? Do we need to pass out smart pills?

Cary Tennis, Dan Savage, Emily Yoffee or perhaps a marriage counselor are in order.

Hi,

I am ok with pornography, for my husband and for myself - to a degree. What I am not ok with is that it does seem to have taken over [his] our lives- He spends a certain amount of time viewing porn every day, then wants me to take up the slack when other things are not done, or attended to. I am reduced to the leftover crumbs that he chooses when/or if to share with me. This is frustrating to me as I would like sex on a much more frequent basis. He gets upset if I were to do the same behavior. (I tested this)

There is another problem for me about his viewing porn. He has increasingly become obsessed and turned on with viewing gay men,from one extreme to the other, including reading erotic literature that is exclusivly gay -men on men. He insists this is 'fantasy'. This has been going on for quite some time - 4 years at least. It has had an affect on how I feel, and our relationship. I am most definately cut out.

I always take the initiative for intimacy between us. I complain, try to talk, write, do things, act out, you name it, to get out of this routine and rut. He will say and agree with me - but never acts on it. I am tired of standing on my head to get back to a happier sexual relationship and feel like I am working at it alone. I am not ready to just quit the relationship, but this is making me pretty unhappy. Your suggestions will be very much appreciated as to what is going on and what I should or could do.

Not A Prude...