If oral sex is more important than your loved one, well then, yeah. You shouldn't be with that loved one.

Relationships are about compromise. If porn is an important part of your lifestyle, and if it makes your SO feel really uncomfy, maybe it wasn't meant to be. But insisting your SO accept something that makes them very uncomfortable is not OK. If porn is more important than your partner's sexual comfort, well, that's a choice you make. If living a porn-free life is more important than your SO, that's also a choice.

Sometimes acceptable compromises can be reached. People can work out happy (or at least moderately satisfied) mediums. If they can't, they shouldn't be together.

It isn't a question of "reasonable" or "unreasonable", it is a question of "compatible" or "uncompatible".

And now we come to the crux of the matter. It's all well and good to have boundaries and they should be respected. But it's a good idea for the boundary-setter to examine their boundaries to see if they are reasonable.

To quote Dan Savage: "Any model that doesn't come with oral sex as a standard feature should be returned to the lot."

I'm perfectly happy to respect your boundaries as long as you respect my right to get out because of them.

She's just a troll.

I won't be renewing, knowing some of it goes to employing her.

Alara, I don't want to jump on you since you've contributed two of the most thoughtful letters here, but aren't you concerned that your commodities--from porn movies to a head of lettuce--are based on people working miserable jobs that you wouldn't wish on a friend, let alone your child? I'm not saying we all have to renounce material culture, but a little guilt can be a good thing--if it makes you aware and willing to look for ways to improve life for the people we depend on to provide for us.

Different people have different bounderies when it comes to sexuality. Some people have anal sex on the first date. Some people won't even kiss until they've been dating a while. This includes definitions of cheating. Some people feel that flirting is cheating. Some people don't feel that making out is cheating. Some people have a good place for porn in their relationships. Some people feel that using porn is a type of infidelity.

People's bounderies need to be respected. Some people have stricter bounderies than other. If your partner is uncomfortable with a sexual act, then to continue with it is just wrong. People have limitations. Sometimes they can be talked out of them. Sometimes they can't. If you can't respect your partner's limits, its a real problem.

For proving my point.

It's no fun making fun of people when they're too stupid to know their responses are exactly what I just stated they would be.

The Porn actor/coal miner analogy is invalid. The point about porn work is that it's considered immoral. That's why you don't want your daughter doing it. Coal mining is brutal work, and you might not want to do it for a number of reasons, but it's not because coal mining (or flipping hamburgers,...) is considered immoral. Geez, isn't that obvious enough? Do we need to pass out smart pills?

I write fiction based on copyrighted characters owned by other people. Sometimes I write them having sex. Lots and lots of people think this is immoral. I don't care, and I'm not ashamed of my hobby, and when I can make money doing it I have (I've sold Star Trek fan fiction to a contest sponsored by Pocket Books and legally made money off it.)

The opinions of *other* people as to the morality or immorality of an action are irrelevant as far as I'm concerned. If my daughter wants to grow up to provide abortions to women who need them, I will be a bit concerned about the danger involved from nutjobs out there, but I would totally support her decision, because *my* moral belief is that this is a noble calling, despite the fact that lots of people would consider her a murderer of babies.

I'm sure there are people who don't want their daughter doing porn work because they consider it immoral. I don't want my daughter working for tobacco companies because I consider that immoral, but I don't want her working in porn because it's not safe (high rates of STDs) and she has life skills that could get her a better-paying job and/or a job that does humanity more good. Morality has nothing to do with it.

There are many people who think it would be a fantastic idea for their son or daughter to join the military, or for a child who's an engineer to work for the Department of Defense. My son wants to grow up to be an inventor, and my husband and I have strongly encouraged him to *avoid* ever working for anything with a military application, because that violates our sense of morality. Other people would strongly disagree and would want their sons to invent weapons for the Department of Defense if it were an option. So personal opinions about the morality of a line of work vary between people and are not necessarily *the* reason why a person would not want their child doing a kind of work. If my daughter's only choices were coal mining or porn work, I'd rather she did the porn work... it's less likely to kill her and it probably pays better.

I think the real answer to that isn't "who has time for a 5 hour movie," it's more like "who wants to see a porn film where the protagonists move in together within the first 5 minutes and then nothing happens for the rest of the film."

Well, truth, since men are so limited when it comes to sex, I would think you would be happy that we are concentrating our efforts on porn and not wasting our time disappointing real flesh and blood women.

Somehow, I don't think that's the case...