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• Tuesday, February 28, 2006 09:05 AM

  ok with porn, but...

  Hi,

  I am ok with pornography, for my husband and for myself - to a degree. What I am not ok with is that it does seem to have taken over [his] our lives- He spends a certain amount of time viewing porn every day, then wants me to take up the slack when other things are not done, or attended to. I am reduced to the leftover crumbs that he chooses when/or if to share with me. This is frustrating to me as I would like sex on a much more frequent basis. He gets upset if I were to do the same behavior. (I tested this)

  There is another problem for me about his viewing porn. He has increasingly become obsessed and turned on with viewing gay men,from one extreme to the other, including reading erotic literature that is exclusivly gay -men on men. He insists this is 'fantasy'. This has been going on for quite some time - 4 years at least. It has had an affect on how I feel, and our relationship. I am most definately cut out.

  I always take the initiative for intimacy between us. I complain, try to talk, write, do things, act out, you name it, to get out of this routine and rut. He will say and agree with me - but never acts on it. I am tired of standing on my head to get back to a happier sexual relationship and feel like I am working at it alone. I am not ready to just quit the relationship, but this is making me pretty unhappy. Your suggestions will be very much appreciated as to what is going on and what I should or could do.

  Not A Prude...

  —dd
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