The issue of changing my last name first came up when I was seven and my mother asked me if I wanted the man she was going to marry to adopt me. My question was, "Will I have to change my name?" And when she said yes, my answer was no. There was some issue of loyalty to my grandparents, who had helped raise me, since my last name was my mother's maiden name. And my stepfather has a last name that absolutely nobody pronounces correctly. But mostly it was about Identity. This caused a bit of hassle with my teachers at school, since once the discrepancy between my last name and my mother's was noticed I would have to go into the whole complicated explanation of how I had never known my biological father and my mother had now married but I had kept my name the same. I felt no discomfort in doing so, but I did find it tiresome, especially since we moved a lot. Incidentally, having a different last name from my younger sisters has no more prevented familial bonding with them than the fact that we're "only" half-sisters; on the contrary, we're closer than most "full" sibling relationships I've seen.

When I got married there was no question in my mind that I would keep my last name; it wasn't even up for discussion. There was no problem about this either since I had no intention of having children. Now I am divorced, but thinking for the first time that I might like to have a child someday. And now my fantasies run to what last name to give that child. Hyphenation seems a decent solution, but what if it was a girl and she got married and had kids - would they get a third last name tacked on? And would it go on and on?

Obviously this is something I would have to work out with my (currently hypothetical) significant other. But based on my own experience, whatever last name the child gets will be their Identity, and what's perhaps more significant is what she decides to do about her name when she gets married. Keeping your mother's maiden name (i.e. her father's name) or your father's name when you marry is no "blow to patriarchy," but maintaining your sense of identity, however arbitrary its basis, perhaps is.

I just wanted to tell Anonymous that she can always change back. I don't know what state she lives in, but it probably costs about $200 and can be done at the local courthouse. You might be able to get publication waived if you ask, since you'd only be changing back to a recently used former name. Then just send out announcements to everyone and there you are.

Here's an idea I've seen people use, put his surname as a middle or second middle name, for example: Jane Hislast Yourlast. He can do the same if he, and that would probably be included for free in your own name change petition

When I got married six years ago, I took my husband's last name. I didn't think it was a big deal and it seemed easier to both have the same name. I sincerely regret doing that. My last name was more than "just" a name; it was part of my identity. I thought I would adjust to my husband's name, but I just don't have an identification with it. My maiden name was a part of my cultural heritage, a part of who I'd established myself to me. I love my husband; we have a great marriage. But while I like his family, I just don't have that kind of connection with his name. There are many reasons why a woman would want to take her husband's name (or a husband would want to take a wife's name, or whatever works) but whenever I talk to a woman with doubts about it I advise her to keep her own. If she's conflicted about it, she'll probably be happier keeping it.

The rigid view that last names need to be one word that fits in a certain amount of spaces and is passed down through the father is untenable. Many cultures have different suffixes for boys and girl- son/ dottir in Iceland, vich/ ova in Russia (my apologies if I got these wrong). I understand sone cultures mix both family names for children, as some Americans are doing. Some immigrants come to this country with two or more last names which get mangled by the SSA, the DMV and schools. What's the huge logistical difficulty with adding space where a person writes his or her name? I've read that there was confusion about the 9/11 hijacker's idetntity because their several first middle and last names were omitted randomly by INS people/ state department people.

My wife kept her last name (or as I like to tell people, "I kept my name when we got married") and we decided to give our girls hyphenated last names, with my wife's last name first. It just sounded better that way.

There were a few questions from people, such as, "What if they want to marry someone else with a hyphenated name?" Apart from the extreme unlikelihood of that, we just told people that question is something the girls and their beloveds could work out.

Overall, we've run into remarkably few problems with it, and best of all, the girls are entirely comfortable with and even proud of their somewhat unusual last name. They like the fact that both their parents' names are in the mix.

One small note to the author: the hilarious "Frau Blücher" hijinks were in Mel Brooks's "Young Frankenstein," not "Blazing Saddles." But I love the sentiment.

My husband and I both hyphenated our names years ago when we got married. When we had our daughter we debated about how to handle this. I wanted to essentially take the hyphen out, and give her my name as a middle one. My husband really wanted us all to have the same last name. As luck would have it, our daughter loves having a hyphenated name. I check in with her about it all of the time. She is now old enough to have to write it on every paper, tedious I would think. Our son is too young to know or care yet so we will see. My thought is that when they get old enough to care we will have it changed, drop the hyphen if they chose, but until then it works fine. I would add that it does make a difference where you live. We lived in the midwest for a number of years and I was constantly having to explain to receptionists how they should file my name etc. People would be visibly irritated.