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• Wednesday, January 11, 2006 12:40 PM

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  I generally don't pay a whole lot of attention to celebrity news, but the apparent reason behind this famous divorce struck a chord with me, a childfree woman who has seen many couples of my acquaintance in conflict over when, and if, to have children. People don't seem to understand that this is an area in which there is little or no compromise. If you're thinking about getting married, make sure you're both on the same page. It will save you a lot of trouble down the line. Some folks do change their minds and become eager to parent, but you just can't count on that, and it's morally reprehensible to try. Even if they give in to keep the peace, they could end up being distant and uninvolved, and who would want a child to have one parent who wasn't really engaged with them? Let's face it, folks: some people--and there are more of them than you would like to believe--really would rather have a career than a child--and it has nothing to do with economics or lack of maturity.

  Jennifer Aniston generally isn't on my radar most of the time, but I had to respect her for not giving in to that pressure. She should be held up as an example of a woman who didn't give in to cultural pressure. If she does decide to have children in the future, it will, hopefully, be in her own sweet time, in a relationship in which she can imagine sharing parenting. And if she really doesn't want to--and doesn't give in to the pressure to show up on the cover of Good Housekeeping with a little expensively-dressed and egregiously-named accessory--I may just start watching her movies simply because she's a kindred spirit. Katharine Hepburn had a mind of her own, too.

  —Marianna Trench Read Marianna Trench's other letters
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