<<No dice. The case was returned with a note reading "Mr. Stein, keep the wine.">>

Dowd sounds like a horrid unforgiving person. no wonder nobody wants to marry her.

I don't know what's more pitiable, a person who lacks the magnanimity to accept a simple apologetic gesture for an admittedly stupid remark , or a person who keeps smacking his head into a rock for the sake of ego.

Now, maybe people here think Joel is an ass... and maybe he is. I don't read him at all so I don't know. If this post is supposed to bring out a snicker of satisfaction from the feminist crowd, then I can understand why the story is here. But the situation is still pitiable. How many of you who claim to be feminists have made somebody angry that you didn't really want to make angry and have that person just blow you off?

Maybe I'd feel differently if it was Bill O'Reilly (someone whose pontificating assitude really irks me, and whose apology would more likely to be self serving than anything else). I dunno. But, it seems like the first step to being a feminist is to treat everybody, not just the people you like, with a little bit of dignity.

Neither Joel or Maureen comes off looking very good from this episode, to me.

I mean, I do not get this infatuation with her at all.

She's a mean, greedy little person, who's unspeakably self-absorbed, and writes the most sterotypically hate-filled kind of misandry. And now, by the way, it's been revealed that her facts are wrong -- a study from 1921? My God -- that would lead to Larry Summers being run out of town on a rail, but people will forgive Dowd anything. Even when she MAKES HER SHIT UP.

And now, this guy has tried to sincerely apologize to her, and she's refused to accept his apology? That's just childish. It's awful. I really think I'd rather be torn apart by wild animals than have dinner with someone like that.

We're only hearing one side of the story here really, I have to agree with Feist. Seems they both have behaved like asses. Steins story has a ring of truth to it, although I think he's polishing up his involvement a bit.

However, taking him at his word, Stein is definitely the bigger ass. Okay, she didn't accept your apology. You're worried about her reaction to flowers, so you decide stalking her is the thing to do?

If she's really too petty to accept your apology, be the better person and walk away.

Really, this guy is either incredibly dense, or he's actually doing this out of revenge, not sincere contrition! Seems most likely he gets a little thrill out of being the "bigger person", and proving it over and over again.

Joel, when your friends call you up to say Maureen is in the restaurant with them, do they say something like -

"Joel, Maureen's here. Should I send her a nice bottle of Chardonnay? I hope she accepts your lovely gesture in the way of an apology!"

Or something more like

"Hey, that bitch Maureen is here, how about I shove another bottle of wine in her face for you? [snicker snicker]"

Funny guy you are.

Her writing does not reveal her to be particularly clever or curious. She's ignorant of public policy and proud of it. She has great natural talent as a writer, but has pissed almost all of it away on pop-psych analysis in her crappy columns. I don't get it. Maureen Dowd just isn't worthy of great respect or great oppobrium. She's a disappointment only to the extent that she has failed to reach her potential and settled for dull mediocrity. How anyone can love or hate her is beyond rational comprehension.

This seems like a basic case for Miss Manners.

When you insult someone in public--and with comments about their sex life, no less--you cannot make amends in private, because it looks cowardly or insincere, and often both.

You insult someone in public, you apologize in public--loudly, brazenly, with as much sackcloth and ashes as you can stand--and then you shut up about it and hope it will blow over, making quiet apologies through mutual friends.

You also do not send wine. Wine is meant for celebrations, congratulations, or as a host or hostess gift. It's not an apology, and certainly not from a stranger.

Send a private letter if you must, but mostly just wait, and learn to chose your words more carefully.