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Read other letters about this article
Anonymous writes, "Years ago, I had a lover who left me for a woman with a silly, low-prestige job whose English wasn't quite good enough to ever call him on his bullshit.", it's a shame that her ex wasn't able to explain why life with someone else would be easier.
I'd like to explain a thing or two to Maureen Dowd and Anonymous; "smarter" does not mean "wins more arguments", with all relationships, you have a choice, you may choose to be a partner or an adversary. Women who declare that successful men are intimidated by "smart" women are actually saying, "I am smarter than men since I am better able to articulate, through both verbal and non-verbal means, why it is he has afronted me. And because of my superior intellectual capabilities, he has left me for someone stupid." Let me speak up for the ex, there's only so much baggage a person in a relationship is willing to accept, when one comes to expect arguments and/or passive-agressive behavior, you merely forfeit the arguments to your adversary, you let them "win" and move on -- END OF STORY.
I'm not saying you and your partner must agree on everything, but for every argument, you have a loser and someone who believes they have won. The person who uses their argument win-loss column to equate a winning record with superior intellect will naturally blame the "loser".
Another letter writer makes a great point, these complainers (Maureen Dowd, chief among them) really are looking for the alpha male. My experience is that the alpha males are rarely likable for their looks, intelligence, culture or interpersonal skills -- think George Bush, Donald Trump or Bill Gates (can't the later two afford a good hair cut?). Can you really get to the top without stepping over or on people to get there?
There are plenty of smart, good-looking guys out there who are content to make an average wage, doing their best at work and at home and with their friends and family. While they may be smarter than the ones in the higher echelons of government or the editorial staff of the NYT, they are also smart enough not to rise above their level of competance.
