- Top Features:
- War Room
- Glenn Greenwald
- Broadsheet
- Joan Walsh
- Camille Paglia
- Since You Asked
- Follow Salon:
Read other letters about this article
The original poster asks how many women keep secret the emotional trauma caused by unplanned motherhood. While certain previous commenters don't shed any light on numbers involved, they do, certainly, provide shining examples of the kind of defensiveness, fear, and insecurity that parents often exhibit toward those who themselves express doubts about reproduction. So you didn't want to be a parent, but now that you are it's the most wonderful thing in the world. Great. We're all happy for you. No one is questioning your choice. Here's a pat on the back, since you seem to need that kind of validation.
But that doesn't mean we can bury the fact--however ugly and unwelcome it may seem to you--that, for various reasons, parenting is not for everyone, and that, yes, having children IS a burden that not all women want to or can bear. I'm sorry that it's not what you want to hear, but it is the truth.
It seems to me that, if there were more sympathy instead of scoffing and condescension for women who fear the difficulties and limitations imposed by parenting, that there would be less pressure to reproduce for those who probably shouldn't--and, as a result, fewer abused, neglected, and generally screwed-up children.
(Oh, but what would become of the--gasp--human race?)
