Letters to the Editor
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looking at symptoms, not problems
Of course, in an ideal world, both partners would have some input into the delimma of a pregnancy where one wants it and the other doesn't. And you know, in healthy relationships, there IS input from both...so it seems to me that at least part of the question here is why do we focus so completely on the absolute worst case scenario, when each of us should be asking ourselves, "Am I in the kind of relationship where I have this? And if not, why not?" What we do as individuals with this question is, I think, much more important about what "the state" should do "for all".
And of course, in a really ideal world, we wouldn't need abortions except perhaps in very rare, tragic circumstances. The same question is worth asking here: what's making it so that women perceive the need for abortion? And the answer to that is a complex one, ranging from factors such as poor relationships, poor education, poor access to contraceptives and so on and so on. It should not surprise us, therefore, that solutions that try to cut across all and solve "the problem" (whether from the prohibitory or permissive standpoint) are never acceptable to the majority over any length of time.
We're not looking at the real problems.
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Men have a lot less at stake than women
Women put their health at risk through pregnancy and delivery. They also forfeit part of their careers -- or all of it -- (if they have one.)
Men do not put any of the above in jeopardy.
They should not be allowed to force a pregnancy on women, no matter how well-intentioned they are about providing for the child.
It would amount to treat women as simple vessels to carry a child. At worse, it would be procreative slavery.
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A man's right to choose, the court's view
In 1989, I worked for a county Probation Department enforcing child support orders. It really was a clerical job that entailed entering updated addresses for the custodial parent, scheduling cases for court, sending out wage garnishments of the absent parent and occasionally requesting a warrant for arrest of a non-paying absent parent. We Child Support Investigators (our civil service title) heard it all. One quickly became very cynical about the promise of romantic love and knowledgeable of the obligations of parenthood. One day Mr. X, the absent parent in this case, came in to complain about the amount of money he had to pay, his dissatisfaction with how the mother of his child was raising her and how he had been tricked into becoming a father. I said, � Mr. X, without your cooperation, she could not have become pregnant.� He quickly agreed with me.
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well thats nice
"I really think you guys can put up with a generation or two of occasionally lacking direct control."
Its bad enough that the younger generation of men has to pay for its fathers' sins, but hey, now we can gladly step aside and die happy knowing that why we may be frusterated at least our grandsons may gain some equality. I was not yet born when men were actually abusing their authority and yet Im treated as if I participated in their abuses. Its nice to hear I wont be alive to see true gender equality either.
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A Man's Right to Choose
What a touching idea, calling for men's rights in abortion decisions! In a different, more perfect world, it would make sense. But in this one--where men routinely abdicate responsibility for the children they father--it is risible.
I raised a child with no support, financial or otherwise, from his father. There was nothing to get from my ex-husband, so I sucked it up and did it alone.
Perhaps, then, we could have a compromise: men could have all the input they wanted in abortion decisions if they were compelled to be active fathers for the remainder of their lives. Otherwise, barring a miraculous development in genetics that would let men get pregnant, they should stay out of it.
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Accidents and grownups
If you sneeze, blink your eyes, drive your car over a patch of black ice and hit another vehicle, you're liable for the damages, be they a dented fender or hundreds of thousands of dollars' worth of medical costs.
Even if you're only partially responsible for a car crash or any kind of accident, you're still proportionately responsible for the results.
So when you're responsible for an accidental pregnancy -- even only partly so -- you're also responsible for the results, albeit only partly so. If that liability is 18 years of child support payments, so be it. (A pretty light liability compared to some other possibilities, when you think about it.) Walking away and saying, "Gee, I didn't want to be a parent, it wasn't my choice," well, that's not responsible. Period. It would be like saying, "Gee, I didn't intend to slide over that black ice and hit that other person's car, so I shouldn't have to pay anything."
Another note: This should not be a male-female thing. It should be an adult-child thing. But there has been a depressingly large number of comments posted by so-called "men" who seem to express a Scott Peterson-like attitude about pregnancy.
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No solution? Try social services
If this country provided actual services to its families -- including day care, health care, and welfare -- we would have no need for child support laws that criminalize men who do not want to or cannot be fathers.
If this country allowed women to terminate pregnancies when they want to -- instead of 87% of counties lacking any abortion provider, a Hyde Amendment banning Medicaid from covering the procedure so many women can't afford it, and insulting "waiting periods" and parental notification laws -- no woman would need to undergo the violation of carrying a fetus to term against her will.
A problem with no good solution, Farhad Manjoo says? It seems pretty simple to me.
And no, I can't believe he argued women should be compelled to have an abortion against their wishes either.
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huh?
What is with broadsheet and incompetant blogging? Jeez, Farhad, you wrote a ridiculous series of posts saying that a man should be able to force a woman to abort a pregnancy, and now you're wondering if maybe it was a bad idea?
How about you grow up and say "wow, that was one of the dumber things I never thought through," and move on? I find it hard to believe that you still think the question of whether a woman should be forced to abort is any way up in the air.