Letters to the Editor
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Maureen protest too much
Please, have you folks ever heard the phrase "high-maintenance"? Think that's GOOD? Ask yourself: Is this the kind of person I'd want to spend the majority of my life with? What's YOUR answer?
Ever hear Maureen complain she couldn't find a nice guy with a regular job, or is it always just a publisher or somebody with fame and money? What chance would a nice 45 yr old programmer have with HER?
What do you do when both of your high-powered jobs leave you on different sides of the country? If you already have a high-stress life, would it be good to add another person's high-stress life, or would you prefer someone who can calm YOUR nerves?
Why don't you go see what the Freepers are saying about her and tar all men with their viewpoints? It seems that would be just as valid as picking one guy off her Amazon review page.
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scary screeds
well, i saw maureen dowd on chris matthew's show a few weeks ago and i have to say, she does look great for an older woman. i happen to really enjoy her personality, honesty and quick wit as well. however, when it comes to males and sexual attractiveness, reproduction is the main thing. that ross guy does have a point, if you're honest about it.
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OK, I'll take a stab at refuting him
First of all, this is essentially a blog, so all the posters complaining about the lack of journalistic panache for taking on an Amazon review should relax a little. This is not a Salon "Article".
Second, we all have expiration dates. As one poster eloquently suggested, it is called death. But even before that, all of us have body parts that get old and stop working as they should; including male sperm and its precious DNA cargo.
In 2001, this little gem came out: "While older women run a higher risk of having babies with birth defects, it has long been presumed that men could have healthy children at any age. Think again. A new study now shows that older fathers are far more likely to have children with schizophrenia, while the age of the mother appears to have no influence on the likelihood of her offspring developing this devastating disease.
The study showed a strong, steady increase in the risk of having children with the disease as men aged. Men aged 45 to 49 were twice as likely to have children with schizophrenia as men under the age of 25 who became fathers, while the risk tripled for men over the age of 50, according to an analysis of a large population of over 85,000 people by researchers from New York University School of Medicine, Columbia University College of Physicians & Surgeons, and Israel's Ministry of Health."
So, yes, we all start to crumble a little bit, but I find this argument of expiration dates (and, by extension value) a little sickening. Talk about showing no respect for elders, hard-earned wisdom, and accumulated intelligence!
Calling a person who doesn't have kids an "evolutionary dead-ender" is pretty cute, but ultimately pointless. A childless man or woman might be the scientist that creates the vaccine that allows us all to live past the next pandemic -meaning we might all be an evolutionary dead end without everyone in society contributing where they are most talented. We are all so intertwined, that anyone could be the source of our evolutionary advance or demise. And besides, many scientists believe we won't evolve much more anyway because we have added so many enhancing technologies to our lives that weaker traits are no longer being selected out. So we have all hit the evolutionary wall if they are right. Can you imagine some of these people who have had lasix cutting it in the caveman days with such poor eyesight?
If certain people want to believe these terrible, mean-spirited things to the exclusion of all the rest of the beauty and possibilities in the world, then they might as well just say "all barren people are born expired." Tell me where you go from there?
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reviews and "expiration"
While I'm usually the first one to criticize Broadsheet and Traister's reporting on all things pop culture, I actually enjoyed this (article? blog? I'm still not clear on what Broadsheet is doing). I'd much rather hear about what Amazon customers are writing, than say, what Jennifer Aniston is saying or doing. Looking at Amazon's customer reviews is a smart way to get at opinions from populations who don't have fancy-schmancy positions of power. Interesting that bloggers in Broadsheet would critique the importance attributed to the same discourse they themselves are essentially creating.
And as far as the references to fertility and what at least one person has even referred to as "breeding," yes, women have "expiration dates." Women's fertility can also diminish if they are under-fed, are victims of violence, and numerous other causes. Hopefully, women's fertility also decreases as they come across men like Ross.
But seriously, Ross's point about "expiration dates" shows the limitation of his view on family and child-rearing. How many parents, grandparents, and other relatives are taking care of children they have not personally procreated? Many. "Expiration dates" are only important for those who seek to reproduce themselves, and not necessarily raise children. Ross needn't worry about "expiration dates" not only because he's male, but also because selfishness never seems to expire.
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Raising a family is great, but....
What about love, Mr. Ross? Perhaps you might consider some more bumper sticker wisdom:
JOHN F. ROSS DOESN'T HAVE A FUCKING CLUE. WOMEN DO.
signed,
deleriously in love with my (nearly) post-child-bearing wife
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Oh, about that "expiration date"...
You know, most men I know are quite apprehensive about kids. Some I know don't want them at all. I find it amusing to discover (courtesy of the feckless Mr. Ross) that indeed, it is this desire to actually produce offspring that dictates nearly all their sexual choices. I'll remember that next time some guy is chatting me up in a bar...because telling him I'm fertile is obviously going to cause him to fall for me instantaneously.
I also find it amusing that folks can take Ms. Dowd's entire book and boil it down to a straw-man soundbyte so that they can promote their own oversimplified version of how the whole "battle of the sexes" thing really operates. Those who've bothered to read even the limited publicly available excerpts of the book know that Dowd doesn't offer pat answers, clever soundbytes, or oversimplifications. What she offers is one woman's view of the question, and it is an interesting and fairly nuanced viewpoint. Dowd makes it very clear she's not offering a definitive statement on the questions she raises, which is pretty damn refreshing in the Internet era where any jerk with a keyboard can pretend he's a literary critic who knows everything about everything.