Letters to the Editor
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Kid-free cafes
When my children were very young (they are 25 and 21 now), I would whisk them out of any public place, especially a restaurant, the moment they started to make a fuss. It was always my thought that other people weren't there to hear my kids scream or watch them run around and it was unfair of me as a parent to allow them (the kids) to ruin the experience of others. Not that either of them were that bad -- they weren't. I didn't have to take that action very many times. Basically, my children discovered that if they acted up, they'd be removed. So they quickly learned to behave. Too many parents coddle their kids, threaten them without following through, and generally let them get away with anything. Consequently, the kids learn that the threats are empty and that the more they act up, the better their chances of getting what THEY want. In other words, the kids are in control when it should be the other way around.
Bottom line: children will be children, but they can be trained to behave. It's just that many parents are too lazy or selfish (they can't be bothered to interrupt their own dining to take corrective measures) to do it.
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Not everything is for everybody
Hey, it seems simple: if you can teach your kids can behave in real restaurants, by all means take them. If not, it's the 'drawing menus' for you. I'm personally in the second camp, and as an 'older' parent I can share this with you: it doesn't last forever (unless you're into breeding your own subdivision.)
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What you see is what you dread
As the father of two boys (ages 11 and 6) I'll bless the whole notion that kids can get very out of hand at restaurants. What I'll also add is that what you see at the table next to you (screaming kid, madly coloring on the tablecloth, food flying, wait-staff dodging ninja-star flatware) is what that child's parent(s) allow at home.
Kids need limits.
While I'm blessing notions, I'll also bless the sainted and patient wait-staff.
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Andersonville Cafes and Loud Children
I live near Andersonville, and I frequent their charming cafes very often. And yes, there is a major problem in the cafes and restaurants there with loud, misbehaving children. Which is ironic, because a major independent bookstore, Women and Children First, is a centerpiece of the district.
Of course, children are loud sometimes ... but those times should not be in a cafe or restaurant where customers are paying money for a peaceful cup of coffee or dinner. It can be as obnoxious as public swearing or smoking. Bad parenting should not be an issue in cafes and restaurants: the owner should warn the parent to keep the child quiet or else throw them out.
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A matter of responsibility
After reading the article, and some of the postings in response, I'm glad to see that quite a few people understand that we are not responsible only to ourselves. I applaud the restaurant owners for fostering the atmosphere they deem appropriate in their establishments. To me, this is the same as a dress code in a posh restaurant, and completely within the restauranteur's rights.
People, regardless of age, need to comport themselves in a manner appropriate to their surroundings and respectful to those around them. I believe that one can be understanding of the trials and tribulations of parenthood, and still expect the parents to control their children.
The parent's excuse that you can't expect a three year old to behave all the time is false. You can always expect them to behave, and when they don't you should consider the enjoyment of others around you before your own. This is the sacrifice you should have decided to make the day the child was born, to raise them to be responsible members of society. Of course, this requires the parent to be responsible themselves. No one is entitled to force their lifestyle choices on others, and that is what these parents are doing by forcing the rest of the restaurant/cafe/etc. to endure the child's unruly behavior.
I have seen many examples of well behaved children in adult oriented establishments, I hate to see their reputation tarnished by those few parents who refuse to accept responsiblity for their children's behavior.
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Kids in restaurants
What I don't understand is why parents can't make their kids behave in public -- restaurants, stores, doctors' offices, etc. Do they let their kids run around and scream in church? At a wedding or funeral? What about in their classrooms in school?
The woman who protested the sign said she should be able to enjoy herself at a cafe, and (presumably) she shouldn't have to discipline her rowdy child. To her I say, "What about the rest of us? Don't we deserve to enjoy ourselves?"
The same problem crops up in department stores. Many parents come through the front doors and their kids just take off, knocking merchandise off shelves, damaging merchandise and bumping into shoppers without even an "Excuse me." How would the parents of these kids feel if someone came into their home and started to abuse their property? Remember, it's not yours until you buy it.
The root of the problem, I think, is that parents don't teach their kids how to behave in public. I have tried, politely, to quiet other people's children down in cafes and stores only to be yelled at by the parent. How dare I reprimand their child! Well, somebody has to.
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Should kids be allowed in all restaurants
Of course not.
When everything have to be child friendly?
1. the market will decide if an owner can maintain an adults only business
2. parents who claim their children may act out at any time should recognize this and shepard their children to appropriate venues
3. I am a parent and just because I believe everything my daughter does/says is important doesn't mean that everyone else should feel the same way
4. cities have many great places on can go with your kids. that both parents and children can enjoy, dragging your kid to the cool new place just because you want to go, should give you pause to why you're a parent and what your job is supoosed to be